Enjoying Fall Through the Eyes of My Child

We don't get much of a Fall here in Southern California like most places as far as the crisp snow-like autumn air and all of the fiery colors go but there are still many natural things to enjoy. I love experiencing life through the eyes of my children. When we slow down long enough and take in the sites that mother nature is so willingly offering us we can experience a different world that is often times right under our nose. 

My little guy and I were off on a chilly adventure just the two of us to find "tiny things." Well, chilly for us anyway. We did have our long sleeves and fuzzy boots on even though he was wearing shorts and was walking around barefoot most of the time. We scrunched down to explore the Earth, to discover new bugs and we searched for itty bitty flowers and baby pinecones hiding in the grass under the fallen leaves. Since it's the unwritten Toddler Law that a child cannot, under any circumstances, leave the park without finding a really cool stick, we found a really cool stick and made our own tree with different leaves that were scattered about. 

It's fun when you present an idea to a child - "let's go to the park and explore some Fall" and then you turn over the reins to them and let them call the shots on how to go about it. It's never what you were originally planning to do...

"Let's find really super tiny fings, Mama!" Said with big, excited eyes. 

 ...and it's always so much better. 

Keep in mind that this is the itty bitty palm of a 3 year old, so this is a very small flower and a brand new sliver of baby grass. 

Crawling around on the grass near the base of a huge tree we discovered this beautiful little seedling thing. Smooth and perfect as only Mother Nature can make and yet funny and silly with "twisty hair sticking all out." A perfect thing to huck through the air we discovered. 

Having fun throwing a pile of leaves in the air. If only you could hear the squeals of laughter that went along with this photo. 

The clouds growing dark and coming in quickly told us it was time to go home, curl up with a warm blanket and sip some hot coco. 

Until our next adventure!

Happy Fall!

Love,

Coco Cana

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Parenting Advice: Letting Some Things Slide

When you are pregnant with baby #1 you buy all of these super cute baby clothes thinking that you'll be spending most of your day parading them around in super cute outfits. In reality, (if you even get out of the house at all in the first 3 months other than to go to midwife appointments/doc appointments) you probably don't make it out of the house in the first outfit you chose because chances are they have pooped it up before you leave.

This was my first parenting lesson in letting things like super cute baby outfits slide.

(Tip: If I really wanted them to wear something specific for a holiday or a picture or something I'd take the outfit with me and change them into it right before the event. It's still not a guarantee though.) 

When your child is a small baby you still have complete control over what they wear out in public and if you're doing it right, you give up control the minute your child expresses any interest in what they want to wear. I feel very strongly about this because it is so important for children to learn how to be creative and independent and when you are that young it starts with clothing and the toys you choose play with.

When my daughter was a young toddler (just after a year old) she started going into her drawer and picking out different pieces to wear. I always let her wear whatever she wanted to wear. Since I picked them out in the store I didn't really have any exceptions unless the weather really didn't allow for the outfit. If we were just going to be playing in the backyard and she wanted to wear head-to-toe snow gear and it was an 85 degree day outside, I still let her because we could walk back in at any time. I did however, let her know it was pretty hot outside and that she might be more comfortable in something cooler, but then I left it up to her to make her own decisions about her comfort level. If we were going out somewhere and she wanted to wear something that would be in conflict with the weather I tried a little harder to help her change her mind, but if she was really set on something specific* I always took an extra outfit of my choosing with us in case we needed to change. If she did want to change I made a point to not say anything like,"see I told you you'd be too hot/cold! You should have listened to me in the first place!" Because who really wants to be talked to like that?  I can't think of anyone. But also, I left it up to her to come to that conclusion herself.

My Child:"It's way too hot for that coat, Mama!" 
Me: (Wiping sweat off my face)"You're right!  What should you wear instead?"

If she wanted to wear a fancy dress and shiny shoes to go to Target or Trader Joe's, I always let her. I started keeping the clothing that was reserved for fancy holiday events (and out of season) up out of sight until the event so it would stay nice and clean. After the event it was fair game to wear whenever. I realized all too quickly that you usually only get one season out of anything a child wears because they grow so fast, so why not just let them wear it.

You are only a kid once. Let them enjoy it!

When she was about 2 1/2 to 3 years old she went through this phase of wanting to wear a solid color head-to-toe. So for instance she would pick green one day. She wanted to wear a green shirt, green pants, green socks, green shoes and a green headband to preschool (all various shades of green, of course.) I let her despite the fact that she looked like she was wearing her jammies. Who cares?  When you are a child you can totally get away with wearing something like that. The next day she wore all white. She looked like a tiny nurse. It was adorable. Toddlers are very much into putting things in groups, lining things up, putting them in categories - this is how they learn. Clothing isn't any different. As toddlers both of my kids would line toys up or stack them up one by one. It's the same thing with clothing and wanting to wear all one color. By letting them pick and wear their own clothing creations you are giving them the freedom to create and the chance to learn.

My daughter is in kindergarten now and she still picks her own clothes almost everyday. It's hardly ever a combo I would put together but that doesn't mean for one second that I could do it better. She creates some cute outfits. She's been picking her own clothes without too much influence from me since she was about 16 months old. If I set something out she might put half of it on, but then choose something totally different for the other half. I have always stocked her closet and drawers with very bright colors and patterns. Almost everything I buy her is comfortable to play in, paint in, dig in the dirt in and be free to be a kid in. This is incredibly important. In order for kids to thrive and fully experience their world as a child they must have clothing that will allow them the freedom to play and explore without the fear of getting too dirty.

I volunteered a lot in preschool, pre-K and now in kindergarten and every single day there are a few kids who have come to school so perfectly well groomed and meticulous and looking very reminiscent of a mini adult and they are afraid to play. I can't tell you how many times I have heard a child say, "My mom told me I can't get dirty", or "My mom told me not to take off my (scarf/headband/hair bows/button down shirt/bow tie/ neck tie/etc.,) so it won't get lost." But it keeps them from playing so they just sit out of the activity.  It makes me really sad to be honest. If a child can't get dirty playing with kids at school, when can they?  

A little girl in pre-K who looked like she just stepped out of a magazine ad everyday told the teacher that she "wasn't allowed to do any of the finger painting because her mom didn't want her to ruin her clothes, even with a painting smock." And don't get me wrong, she looked adorable - for a family photo shoot, but it wasn't appropriate for a 4 year old to be dressed like that for school because it didn't allow her to play.  She said that her mom told her that the painting smocks have paint on them so she can't use them either. I don't blame the mom for not wanting to ruin the clothes because they looked very expensive, but keep them for a photo shoot or fancy holiday dinner or something. Even then, the child shouldn't live in fear of being a child and possibly getting dirty. It's not fair to have these high expectations of them. 

So instead of being a typical kid and playing, this little girl with the perfect outfit sat on the bench and watched the other kids play so she could stay clean. 

She couldn't dig in the sand box because she said her shoes were brand new and her mom didn't want them sandy. She couldn't ride the big wheels or tricycles because she had too many frills and layers on her skirt and they would get caught in the wheels and rip. She didn't want to run around and play tag because all of her layers made her too hot and sweaty to run and her fancy slip-on, clacky shoes made her feet hurt and they would slip off if she ran. That sounded like punishment to me. And for what?  For the parents to have an image of a perfectly groomed child?

This is a true story and I witnessed her having to obsess about her outfit every time I saw her. I felt really bad for her and I wanted to tell her mom she was doing a disservice to her child by making her an outcast by not letting her feel free to play like a child because she needed to look perfect everyday, but you can't say these things, of course. I asked her child one day if she had any play clothes and she asked, "what are those?" "They are clothes you can play in and it's ok for them to get dirty." She said, "Oh no, my mom doesn't like me to get dirty in my clothes."  Not that every child has to "get dirty", but they should have the freedom to play in a way that is age appropriate.

So now we're in kindergarten and my child wears every color in the rainbow in one outfit. I have had parents come up to tell me how cute my daughter looks everyday in all of her bright colors and mismatched socks. I make sure to tell them that she picks everything out everyday and that I can't take credit for her unique, colorful style. It's funny because I had a conversation with a mom the other day as we were dropping our girls off at kindergarten. She was telling me how her daughter always wants to pick her own clothes and she said, "I hate it when she wants to do that because she never picks things that I want her to wear and it's always mismatched colors and patterns and I'm like, you are not going out of the house like that, and then we have a big fight about it!" My first thought was, "Why not she's 5? Who cares? You need to pick and choose your battles and that isn't one of them." But I didn't say anything because I could tell she had more to say about it. Then she said, "Her combos are ridiculous. I'm not going to let her wear a striped shirt with a polka dot skirt and argyle socks! What are the other moms going to think if I let her go to school like that?" 

I laughed as I looked over at my own child laughing and running like a wild woman in the kindergarten yard with her friends because what was she wearing?  A purple skirt with bright rainbow hearts all over it, lime green short leggings underneath, a t-shirt with muted, pastel pink, purple and white stripes, one hot pink sock, one bright yellow sock (both from the same set of a 6-pack of socks), turquoise shoes and leg warmers (Baby Legs) pulled up to the ends of her shorts that were cream colored with brown, pink and white argyle. Oh and a hair bow that was hot pink and bright turquoise cheetah print.

I couldn't make that up if I tried!

It was a proud moment for me as a mom who has decided to give up complete control over what my very artistic, very creative child chooses to wear. She looked exactly like a 5 year old kid who picked her own clothes and I'm 100% OK with that!

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Why I Deleted Facebook The Day My Child Started Kindergarten

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The Battle of Nigh-Nigh: Getting Our Spirited Child To Sleep.

When you were born and we finally got you to go down after many dances with daddy listening to soft music, you slept like a baby - you woke every two hours all throughout the night to nurse.  In between those hours you snuggled sweetly between daddy and I, swaddled in your baby blanket, or sometimes in your bassinet that was pushed right up against my body, not moving a muscle, your eyes closed tightly off in a baby wonderland.

As a one year old we were living in the land of the "Sleepy Drive."  This drive was our night time routine and it was carried out faithfully for God only knows how long. It actually started before you were a year old because we'd make the drive down to Poipu Beach when we were living on Kauai. But daddy and I actually enjoyed many of those quiet starlit evenings driving around in the dark through fields of tall cane grass until you drifted off to sleep. Once in bed however,  you woke every 45 minutes all throughout the night to nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse. I don't think you actually ever "slept."  Or I should say I never slept. During the minutes where you'd finally break your latch, roll over and drift off to a light slumber - my "exhale moment", you thrashed your tiny body around the bed between daddy and I like crashing waves on the rocks. Your arms and legs kicking wildly as if you were swimming to shore through the raging water. It was a good night if we only got kicked in the eye or punched in the jugular a few times. You might have been "sleeping" but your body never stopped moving. Never. As a baby daddy would say you are "full throttle til you run out of gas." Truer words were never spoken.

As a two year old (who had even more energy if you can imagine that) you had a very, very, very long nigh-nigh routine that lasted hours. "No way!"  "Yes way!"  It consisted of a pre-tub sprint around the circle of our house, a long leisurely bubble tub that would make a Greek Goddess jealous, several books, as well as a verbal story, followed by a made up song, a slow dance and then a rock in the chair til you finally drifted off. I'm exhausted just writing it. Daddy and I took shifts in the beginning. This is how it all went down. After a very long dinner we come to Part One: The Running Of The Babies. It was just as hectic as The Running Of The Bulls in Spain. Something I'm sure you'll partake in someday. We called this the "Naked Baby Chase" and you wore us both out after several laps. The house we were living in at the time had a complete circle through the house. It connected the kitchen to the hall, a bedroom, another hall near the bathroom, through the living room and dining room and back to the kitchen. This was your track and you were training for a marathon. Like any top athlete, you took your training very seriously. You just kept running and running and running and running at full speed ahead, laughing like a hyena, eyes flashing with electricity every time you passed us on the side lines cheering you on trying to pinch your booty. You were a tiny, battery charged Forrest Gump. Then there was the tub portion of the evening - when we finally got you in there that is. This lasted a good 45 minutes to an hour and a half. The water was cold after several attempts to drain some of the cold and add more hot, swish it around to warm it up - repeat. Tub time ended when there was no more hot water to be had in the entire house. It did not end happily, let me tell you, even after an hour and a half. Then we come to the routine of drying you off. The made-up song I had to sing to dry your hair because you HATED for me to dry your hair and the song helped somewhat. I had to use a towel because you HATED the sound of a blow dryer. Even in a public restroom. I didn't blame you though. It's very loud. I can only imagine how loud it must sound to very sensitive two year old ears. Then the picking of the jammies. They had to be the right ones. Not too scratchy, no tags in our way, nothing itchy, not too hot, not too cold. Sometimes there would be several changes until we got it just right and even then more times than not we'd end up sleeping in only our diaper all night long anyway. As any parent with a Spirited Child will agree, any break in the routine or any attempts to speed it up only ended in heartbreak - for daddy and I. I'd like to remind you that mommy was pregnant with Baby #2 and tired. Oh-so-very-tired during this two year old stretch of wild animal life. We haven't really even gotten to the meat of our night time routine yet and it's been close to 2 hours. Add on the evenings festivities of books and entertainment provided by the "parent du jour" and we've got another hour plus. Now it's time for lights out. She knew it was coming, we knew it was coming and every one of us knew it wasn't going to be pretty and it wasn't going down without a fight. Kisses and loves, lights off and out the door closing it behind me only to find my darling cherub turning the doorknob ever so slowly to poke her smiling face out of the door about 22 seconds later. Anticipating her arrival I stood in the hallway (faithfully doing my deep prenatal yoga squats and various Bradley Method exercises) until she came to the door. I'd then usher her back in there along with some tears, more kisses and I love you's and sweet dreams wishes, shampoo-rinse-repeat for a good 45 minutes or so and sometimes yes sometimes it even ended with a sleepy drive - even after all that! Those were on the nights where our patience was non-existent and that was our last resort. Our gas budget had required us to use this as a last resort after a few years of nightly 20+ minute drives in very large circles at night. However, after all those hours spent squatting in the hallway I was extremely fit and limber and ready for Baby #2 to come along since I had so much time to prep my joints and muscles every night for most of my pregnancy. Once Baby #2 came along though, daddy was permanently up at bat in the nightly game of nigh-nigh so it took on a new form. One that he molded into what worked for them. Daddy recalls standing outside your door as well counting the seconds to see how long it would take til you popped out and needed to be ushered back in. "One hundred and one, one hundred and two..." He said if he was able to get to 200 then you were most likely asleep. Sometimes he'd only get to "one hundred and seven" before you poked your sweet lil face through the crack of the door. Prior to the hallway counting there was a lot of holding and swaying to one of daddy's famous made up songs. Something a very pregnant mama could no longer do. Even in a rocking chair. It just wasn't comfortable anymore which is very bittersweet to be honest. The end of an era spent with just me and Baby Girl rocking for hours and hours in that pink rocking chair.

As a three year old it was much of the same as when you were two except for adding Baby #2 in the mix of dinner time, bathtub time, jammies time, book reading time on top of you - the three year old trying to get more mileage out of the whole nigh-nigh routine. How can you possibly add more time to that you ask?  It's possible. We fondly referred to you as the "Dilly Dally Queen" on occasion. However, at three "we" were way more vocal, way more savvy and knew exactly how to work the system. We'd pick at our meal during dinner time only to try to finagle eating a full "4th meal" after bath time. Because we didn't want her to go to bed hungry we'd let her eat a snack. She snacked all day so she wouldn't actually be hungry but in the off chance she was hungry in the middle of the night it only caused US pain in the long run if we didn't let her snack on 4th meal. And before you think what you might be thinking, there was never any circumstances of "she'll learn her lesson if she - this or that..." with this child. This is not how she's hard wired. This is not how she operates and us "teaching her a lesson" out of hostility and our lack of patience is not how we try to parent. We're not perfect, we get worn out and at times just want results like any other parent but we shoot for patience the majority of the time. And believe me our patience was running thin. But our time spent helping our Spirited Child grow in the world as a toddler was not about us "winning the battle" and her "losing the battle" and us "breaking her down" in order to make her bend at our will. I believe she was brought to us to teach us patience and it's a lesson we're still learning and it's been a long bumpy road, but we're getting there.  A few times a week you'd creep out into the living room and we'd have to usher you back a few times. You'd want a little something as a snack. You became very fond of a glass of warm milk which I was more than happy to oblige since it meant you'd most likely stay in your room. And most of those times you just really wanted some extra snuggles from daddy. I don't blame you. Daddy is a good snuggler. Mama was chopped liver from most of 2 to the end of 3-ish. I can understand. Baby Brother was nursing and Big Sissy had already weaned and wasn't the least bit interested in nursing anyway aside from right after baby was born to see what all of the fuss was about. Your thoughts: not interested. Special attention from Daddy: Bring it!

As a four year old we got to the point of you knowing exactly what your night time routine looked like because we basically did the same thing night after night after looooooooong night since you were a wee lass. You were sharp as a whip so we'd talk you through the evening. "In 5 more minutes we're going to do this -" and we got to the point of shaving off some serious time on our nigh-nigh routine. Because if you remember, Baby Brother was now in the mix as an 18+ month old dragging out his very own nigh-nigh routine.  "Please pick your jammies and get dressed." "You pick some books and look through them while I get Baby Brother's jammies on", etc. We were very independent and liked the authority over our own agenda.  As pre-written as it may have been. She still took the reins on a lot of it from picking her jammies to picking her books to picking her clothes for preschool the next day. Spirited Children thrive on control. This was control I was more than happy to let go of.

At four something magical happened...

Something that almost brings tears to my eyes just typing all of this up. We'd do our extremely trimmed down version of "night-night" ("only babies say nigh-nigh"), we'd prep you that it was "last book," we'd kiss all of your animal lovies, sing a made-up song by request, we'd turn off your light, close your door and before we'd make it to the living room you were pretty much asleep!  No walking out into the living room 10 minutes later needing - something, no Sleepy Drive, no requests for 4th meal. You were just....asleep. Sometimes you'd sleep til morning, sometimes you'd have a bad dream and call out for one of us. Sometimes we'd find you snuggled in our bed at 3am or 5am. But 4 years old was when we no longer dreaded the infamous Battle of Nigh-Nigh.  We all won the battle - together. The only time we need a sleepy drive is when our evening has been thrown out of whack and we are at the point of no return. Like with having dinner guests, over night guests, a long day at Disneyland (the drive home is the sleepy drive thank the sweet lord!), birthday cake, Christmas Eve - you name it. But it doesn't take too many streets and you're out like a light. Baby Brother is another situation when it comes to sleepy drives. It tends to work the opposite with him!

Tonight you are 5. At 5 we are seeing a very worn out lil Miss who plays hard all day long at preschool, who's no longer napping (haven't seen regular naps since 3 1/2 anyway) and at 5 we are seeing the earliest bedtimes we've ever seen in your lifetime. The bedtimes everyone as well as every parenting book always told us you should have and no matter what we ever tried to do we never, ever, ever accomplished it. "Just give her a short nap."  Nope. "Just wake her early in the morning."  Uh-uh. "Just wake her early from her afternoon nap."  Umm...do you poke a sleeping bear just before spring?  I don't either. "Just cut her naps completely and keep her up all day long." Major back fire explosion.  The word "just" that began everyone's sentences of helping us fix our sleepy time issues implied it was an extremely easy fix. I'm assuming none of those people had a Spirited Child. There is no "just do" anything with a Spirited Child. There just isn't. Tonight we took an early tub, had a pretty early dinner and you powered through your meal and told us you were full. Jammies were already on and we decided to snuggle with daddy on the couch. You, 2 year old Baby Brother and daddy. You all started to drift off to sleepy land (Daddy's favorite thing to do at about 6:30pm - heehee!) and suddenly you got up and ran down the hallway.  We both assumed you were going to the bathroom and you'd be back for more snuggles or demand to break up the slug fest and get down to business of reading a bunch of books. A few minutes went by and no return. Baby Brother had drifted off to sleep in what was to be the easiest, most effortless nigh-nigh we've had in a very long time. I decided to go check on you and I found you in your bed, covers tucked up all around you (something you used to fight with me about that you'd never be able to do yourself), your lovie firmly in place "full body hug style," your night light on as well as SeaSea: your glowlight/soothing musical seahorse lovie - a throw back from your infant days illuminating your angelic face peacefully asleep. Not a word was spoken to complete this mission. It was carried out 100% by you - our five year old!

I'd like a moment of silence to let the full weight of this monumental moment sink in fully. 


Exhale.... 

Hello 5. We've been waiting for you. It's so wonderful to see you. However, if we're being honest, your friends ages 4, 3, 2, 1 and newbie are missed. Even the hardest of times, they are missed. For we can't fully appreciate where we are today without you and your grueling all-night moments.  But for now I'm happy missing those times as opposed to still living them. We did it together, kid. You, me and daddy - we did it together.

Love you forever and ever and always,
Mommy

Now go to bed.  ;-)

Preschooler Logic Presents: Can We Get A Doggie?

Preschooler: "Mommy, Bayman won't jump through the hula hoop like a doggie will when I hold it out like this." (Demonstrates her circus act that has clearly fallen flat due to an uncooperating toddler.) 

Mommy: "Well Birdie, Bayman is a Baby Brother not a doggie."

Bayman: "I not a doggie, Sissy! I a Baby Brudder!"  

Just then Baby Brother sneezes out into the universe unleashing a spray of water as well as other unpleasantries that accompany a coughing-sneezing cold and requiring several tissues to clean up into the sky like a fire hose.

Preschooler: (Looks at Baby Brother in Older Sisterly disgust.) "Can we get a doggie mommy?  They are cleaner than Baby Brothers. Remember what he did last night?"

Reflecting to last night: Let's just say the diaper was off and Baby Brother was running wild and free until he hid behind the curtains and yadda, yadda, yadda - now we need to steam clean. 

Point taken Preschooler, point taken. 


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Sibling Irony #3: Presents: Funny Kid Arguments. Toddler vs. Preschooler

My toddler is such an optimist. He's been walking around all day long saying, "it's almost Friday!"  Considering it was Monday, I didn't have the heart to correct him. Even though I don't think he even knows what "Monday" is.  So in typical toddler fashion - and if you know toddlers then you know what I'm talking about - he proceeded to spend the rest of the day telling everyone that it was, "almost Friday!"  And depending on how you look at it, he was right. It was almost Friday - in four days. Glass half full. I like that.

However, Big Sissy was growing tired of all of Baby Brother's "unnecessary" celebrating. Here's how it all went down. 

(SIDE NOTE: I'm trying to nip all of the excess fighting in the bud...but this particular argument was kinda funny so it was hard not to laugh while I was telling them to use their nice words with each other.) 

Baby Brother: “It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “No it isn't.”

Baby Brother: “Yes it is!”

Big Sissy: “No it ISN'T!”

Baby Brother: “Yes it IS, Sissy!”  ("Sissy" said with a tiny lisp, btw.)

(SIDE NOTE: Due to budgeting and time constraints I've edited the actual number of times this dialogue went back and forth. Once again if you know toddlers and preschoolers - especially those who are siblings - then you know what I'm talking about.) 

Baby Brother: “It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “Mooooooom, he keeps saying it's almost Friday!

Mom: (behind locked door) "Hey! Quiet down out there! I'm trying to watch last night's 15-hour re-cap episode of The Bachelor on TiVo and finish off these chocolate brownies before daddy eats them all and I can't hear myself think with all that yelling!" 

Juuuuust kiddiiiiiiing. 

You started to have some serious judgements going on though, didn'tcha? Come on admit it!  I saw your eyebrows raise up. We actually don't even have TiVo, so of course that's not true.

 Where were we?  Oh yea - back to the toddler vs. preschooler argument du jour...

"No it's not." 

"Yes it is."

Big Sissy: “He keeps saying it's almost Friday and it's not Friday!  It's January!"

Mama: (trying to muffle the laugh-cough into a bent elbow)"Well Birdie, Baby Brother doesn't really know what day it is. He's only 2 years old. He's just saying it's 'Friday' because he's heard us say that before and he's trying out new words so he can be a part of our conversation too. Today is actually Monday. So instead of yelling at him that he's wrong, let's try to teach our Baby Brother with our nice words that today is Monday but that Friday will be here soon.... OK, Love?"

Big Sissy: (to Baby Brother in the sassy voice reserved for 4 year olds who are trying to "school" their baby siblings) "It's not Friday, Bay. It's Monday.... AND it's January!"

Mom: (oh yea I forgot - mom brain) "Actually Birdie, it's February. Last month was January and this month is February. That's why we've been making our Valentine's Day cards for school because our Valentine's Day party is February 14th, remember? Next month it changes again and it will be March.... And we're using nice voices with each other, please. If not, then you will be choosing to have some time away from playing trains to cool off.

Baby Brother: (as if he's just invented bubblegum) “IT'S ALMOST FRIDAY!”

Big Sissy: (in her nicest, big girl 'teaching voice') "It's not Friday, Baby Brother (caressing his cheek to soften the blow of bad news) it's actually Monday - Feb-boo-r-air-y. January is over...(shakes head) It's gone, Bay Man. Gone forever. And Friday is in 8 days...OK Love?”

Baby Brother: (running the other way with his sword in the air) “Hey-evy-body! It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “MOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

Mom: (walks into the kitchen looking for pan of chocolate brownies - thinking of ordering TiVo.)

Are we there yet?  Why yes. Yes we are.

Happy almost Friday everyone!

Are you following @coco_cana on twitter yet? She doesn't really know how it works so it's kinda funny watching her flail around over there. Good for a laugh. 

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My Child Gets So Distracted!

Can you relate?  This can be very frustrating sometimes. Like when we are running late for preschool and she needs to go grab her sweatshirt off of the hook in her room "real quick" and minutes later I walk in there to find her on the floor surrounded by her Calico Critters*, lost in a make-believe world of super tiny animals and their even smaller hairbrushes, outfits and toys - her sweatshirt still hanging on her hook.  

So when we are trying to get out the door in a hurry a sidetracked, easily distracted preschooler can make me want to pull my wet pony tail out.  (Wait...don't all mom's shove their wet hair into a pony tail before dropping their child off at preschool?  Hey, at least we're finally at the age of "mom gets a morning shower" now. The baby years...not so much.)

However, having a child who gets lost on the way from the kitchen to the bathroom and winds up in the playroom does have it's advantages. This is how it worked in my favor today:

Preschooler: "Mommy, can I play a game on the iPad?"

Mommy: "Sure. As soon as you clean up all of your coloring stuff and crafting stuff you can play your game."

Preschooler: "OK, Mommy....."

25 minutes later "Preschooler" is still quietly coloring away creating an entire fantasy world of dinosaurs, birds, sea turtles and butterflies, unicorns and fairy dust with a blank sheet of paper and some colored pencils. The iPad hasn't been mentioned once.

This is the plus side to a child getting sidetracked and distracted when you ask them to "complete a task."

Win for Mommy.
Win for Preschooler.

My 3 yr old Mad Scientist having a very Jackson Pollock moment.
Today's artwork wasn't captured on film - so I'm using this gem.

*I love Calico Critters btw. No batteries, no obnoxious noises, no songs that can't be turned off regardless what you do to them. They are just well-made toys perfect for make believe. They are for girls and boys and have a wide age range too. My daughter got turned on to them as a 2 yr old and still loves them, as did her 6 & 8 year old cousins when they came to visit. They are pricey though! I will say that. But the quality is hard to beat. You get what you pay for when it comes to toys. They are great to add to your child's wish list. The one you give out to family!  wink*wink

I'm just a Calico Girl living in a Critter world.

This happened today....sorta.

Let's keep the conversation going over on our facebook page, My Tales From The Crib!

Sibling Irony #2 Presents: Preschooler Logic

Toddler: "Nooooooo Sissy!"

Mommy: "Don't kick your baby brother."

Preschooler: "I wasn't...  

...I was just using my feet."

Top 10 Signs You Have Officially Arrived in Toddlerville

One minute you have a tiny bundle of swaddled joy, and the next minute, that bundle is swinging from the cupboard door. If this sounds familiar to you, either you've already moved here or it's time to pack your bags.

Welcome to Toddlerville! We serve up crazy all day long!

1. Everything is edible. The shriveled square of cheese in the corner, a Cheerio some other kid left in the shopping cart, cat food, dog poop…
2. You’re exhausted all day long but have insomnia at 3:45am, and the only thing bouncing around in your brain is a song from The Wiggles.
3. You have Play-Doh stuck in your hair, finger paint up to your elbows and you just sat in something sticky.
4. The entire perimeter of your dining room table is engraved with ball point pen, and you can't get mad because it's a “picture of me giving my baby brother a love.”
5. Tiny little hand prints cover every glass surface you own including the very top of your bathroom-sink mirror - and frankly, you’re afraid to ask about that one.
6. You have about 25 sippy cups with multiple "leakproof" parts you can never find when you need them, and they all leak.
7. With your eyes closed, you can recite the words to Goodnight Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Pat the Bunny.
8. Everything is a toy. The half-empty dog dish covered in slobber, your cell phone with recent calls to China, your dirty flip flop that's moonlighting as a teether and a box of condoms you keep in “the drawer.”
9. You once thought of bubbles and chalk as a quiet backyard activity. Now you know it means mixing them into a paste and applying it as a face mask on the dog.
10. No matter how many fresh veggies, whole grains and "green things" your child ate as a baby, you now live in the world of "beige food": chicken nuggets, chicken fingers, chicken fries, macaroni and cheese, tater tots, enough bread to choke a small horse, noodles with butter, cheese pizza (if you can leave off the sauce that would be awesome), applesauce and corn (Toddlerdom’s approved fruits and veggies) and corn-dog bites, because if you don't remove the stick, it will be used as a weapon against the baby and big sister. The only colorful thing is the milk. It now comes in pink and brown.

How about you? Are we there yet? Or are you still living over on Sweet Baby Lane?

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*This was originally posted on November 9, 2011 for mom365 where I landed my first gig as freelance writer for mom's blogs. Click here to read more of my Top Ten Lists on Mom365.

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Top 10 Unfortunate Places for Your Toddler to Throw a Tantrum

Let's face it, it's never really a good time for your toddler to throw a tantrum, but some places are just downright embarrassing (and some times are really poor timing) - especially if you've brought your child there to have fun. Even more so if you've just been talking about how good your toddler is.

Here's are the top 10 places most moms I know would rather not deal with a raging toddler tantrum.

1. At their own birthday party.
2. At Gymboree, where literally nothing is off limits and every single surface is climbable.
3. At the interview for that fancy private preschool you're hoping will give you a scholarship.
4. As you're walking through the gates at Disneyland.
5. During family night at your new parent education class, where you've spent 6 weeks learning a bunch of new tantrum-diffusing techniques (and none of them are working). 
6. At your first outing with the new moms' club after you just spent 15 minutes telling everyone how effective your 6-week parenting class was.
7. When you're meeting the new sitter for the first time and you've already assured her that your child rarely throws tantrums. (Why do we always set ourselves up like that?)
8. Standing in line to board a 6-hour flight and your toddler has already taken their one nap in the car on the way to the airport.
9. While you're on your way to the hospital - in labor.
10. After you've driven 2 hours to go to the zoo because all your kid has talked about is wanting to feed the giraffes, which they heard about from the neighbor kid. You've spent about $100 for parking and tickets. You've just realized that you left the lunch you packed in the refrigerator and know you'll be dropping another $30 on stale chicken strips and old french fries. You've waited forever in line to get the food to feed the giraffe (another 5 bucks), then in another line to actually feed them, and when it's finally your turn, your child is having a five-alarm meltdown because his sister got to turn the dial on the food dispenser and he didn't, and now he doesn't even want to see the giraffe's anymore, let alone feed them.

Has your sweet little angle ever thrown a tantrum so embarrassing that you just wanted to walk in the other direction, looking around the store asking, “who does this child belong to?”  Fess up!

*This was originally posted on January 21, 2012 for mom365. Click here to read more of my Top Ten Lists on Mom365.

How Ironic #2

Baby Boy wants to wear my hats all the time or Sissy's hats all the time (in public of course!), or anything resembling a hat for that matter - a shirt, pair of pants, a box, a clothes hamper, paper grocery sack...but when the sun is beating down on us and we are outside playing and I want him to wear his hat he screams, flings it off like it's on fire and acts like I just threw his favorite toy car in the garbage disposal.

What a lil stinker!


*P.S. "Baby Boy" is just a month shy of turning 2. I guess he's not really a "baby" anymore...

cue the sad face with a single tear trickling down...

Someday: A Poem Inspired By My Toddler

Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

Someday your tiny body won't feel like a squishy marshmallow.

Someday you won't have that sweet baby smell.

Someday your chin won't be as soft as a baby's bum.

Someday you won't be sucking your thumb and twirling your hair as you gaze into my eyes while I make you laugh and watch your thumb fall out of your mouth.

Someday I won't lift you up to change your diaper and gasp at what a heavy baby you are.

Someday you won't cry when I leave the room and then throw your arms around my neck sobbing into the soft spot between my shoulder and cheek all because you want me to hold you.

Someday you'll be big enough to ride all of the "big kid rides" with sissy.

Someday I won't be the favorite person in your life.

Someday you won't run everywhere you go making your cheeks bounce up and down while you are making silly noises.

Someday you won't stand at sissy's door crying your eyes out because she won't let you in to play Calico Critters.

Someday mommy will let you have an ice cream cone even though daddy already has.

Someday you'll know every word to all of your favorite songs and you'll have lengthy conversations with your friends and we'll no longer marvel at your amazing vocabulary for a 1 & 1/2 year old.

Someday you won't want to hold my hand.

Someday you'll say, "Goodnight mom. Goodnight dad." And you'll walk into your room and go to bed without first needing to read, "Goodnight Moon."

Someday daddy and I will be able to eat dinner and watch a movie without any interruptions.

Someday you won't spontaneously break out into a silly dance while you are eating animal crackers.

Someday you'll stop eating all of your veggies.

Someday you'll be able to cross the street without me holding your hand or carrying you.

Someday you'll be too big for me to carry.

Someday you'll be too heavy for me to pick up.

Someday I'll be able to get rid of the diaper bag, the stroller, the car seats, the Ergo, the crib...

Someday you'll tell me that you fell in love.

Someday you won't cry in the middle of the night and daddy will bring your into our bed where you'll proceed to do downward dogs and then fall on us and jam your head into our ribs and make snow angels until you are taking up almost the entire mattress...at 3am.

Someday you'll jump off of the side of the pool and you won't need us to catch you.

Someday I'll say, "Give mommy a kiss" and instead of reaching up to kiss me you'll say, "Mooooom!  You're embarrassing me!"

Someday you won't need a high chair, a bib, a toddler spoon or a sippy cup.

Someday you and your sister will be mad at us for moving from Kauai.

Someday you won't use your entire hand as a yogurt spoon.

Someday you won't draw all over your body with markers.

Someday you won't find it hilarious to walk around the house with a box on your head while you bump into the walls.

Someday you won't need a night light or a bed time story or a favorite lovie to comfort you.

Someday you'll make yourself something to eat.

Someday you'll complain to me about your own toddler going through the "terrible two's" and I'll smile and think back to this phase of my life and I will laugh because I'll be so far removed from it, it will finally become funny....I look forward to that day.

Someday you'll want daddy to teach you how to ride his shovelhead, and we'll hold our breath as we watch you ride away.

Someday you'll have your own life, your own thoughts, your own ideas, your own worries and someday you won't want our advice.

Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

******

So today I'll cherish this life we have right now with you being my baby and me being your mommy. I'll cherish the laughter and the tears, the tantrums and the all-nighters, the Houdini-like escapes as I try to change a dirty diaper, the mad dashes down the hall to get a giggling baby into the tub and the naked baby chases after.  I'll cherish every silly whisper you breathe into my ear, every eye poke you give me announcing, "eye!  eye!" and every wet finger in my ear yelling, "ear!  ear!"  I'll continue to marvel when you say things out of the blue like, "5-4-3-2-1 Blast Off!" because you aren't even 2 yet or when you spin in a circle singing, "ashes, ashes..." I'll laugh when you stack all of your toys up on top of each other and when they don't fall over you throw your arms out parallel to the floor and yell, "Taaaa daaaaa!" And above all my heart will continue to melt whenever I see you smile or laugh or run and jump, or say "thank you mommy" when I bring you your "eggy and cheeee" at breakfast, or when you reach for sissy's hand to hold, or say, "ess you mama" when I sneeze or when you keep repeating, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" until I take the thing out of your hand that you no longer want to hold. Because you are my sweet, precious angel baby and I will still love you even when I am no longer walking this earth.

You will forever be my beautiful baby boy with the bright blue eyes and the bouncing blonde curls as you run away from me when I try to kiss you.

Love,
Your mommy



-Colleen Duncan Canavan

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