- Everything is edible. The shriveled square of cheese in the corner, a Cheerio some other kid left in the shopping cart, cat food, dog poop…
- You’re exhausted all day long but have insomnia at 3:45am, and the only thing bouncing around in your brain is a song from The Wiggles.
- You have Play-Doh stuck in your hair, finger paint up to your elbows and you just sat in something sticky.
- The entire perimeter of your dining room table is engraved with ball point pen, and you can't get mad because it's a “picture of me giving my baby brother a love.”
- Tiny little hand prints cover every glass surface you own including the very top of your bathroom-sink mirror - and frankly, you’re afraid to ask about that one.
- You have about 25 sippy cups with multiple "leakproof" parts you can never find when you need them, and they all leak.
- With your eyes closed, you can recite the words to Goodnight Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Pat the Bunny.
- Everything is a toy. The half-empty dog dish covered in slobber, your cell phone with recent calls to China, your dirty flip flop that's moonlighting as a teether and a box of condoms you keep in “the drawer.”
- You once thought of bubbles and chalk as a quiet backyard activity. Now you know it means mixing them into a paste and applying it as a face mask on the dog.
- No matter how many fresh veggies, whole grains and "green things" your child ate as a baby, you now live in the world of "beige food": chicken nuggets, chicken fingers, chicken fries, macaroni and cheese, tater tots, enough bread to choke a small horse, noodles with butter, cheese pizza (if you can leave off the sauce that would be awesome), applesauce and corn (Toddlerdom’s approved fruits and veggies) and corn-dog bites, because if you don't remove the stick, it will be used as a weapon against the baby and big sister. The only colorful thing is the milk. It now comes in pink and brown.
Top 10 Signs You Have Officially Arrived in Toddlerville
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