Parenting Advice: Letting Some Things Slide

When you are pregnant with baby #1 you buy all of these super cute baby clothes thinking that you'll be spending most of your day parading them around in super cute outfits. In reality, (if you even get out of the house at all in the first 3 months other than to go to midwife appointments/doc appointments) you probably don't make it out of the house in the first outfit you chose because chances are they have pooped it up before you leave.

This was my first parenting lesson in letting things like super cute baby outfits slide.

(Tip: If I really wanted them to wear something specific for a holiday or a picture or something I'd take the outfit with me and change them into it right before the event. It's still not a guarantee though.) 

When your child is a small baby you still have complete control over what they wear out in public and if you're doing it right, you give up control the minute your child expresses any interest in what they want to wear. I feel very strongly about this because it is so important for children to learn how to be creative and independent and when you are that young it starts with clothing and the toys you choose play with.

When my daughter was a young toddler (just after a year old) she started going into her drawer and picking out different pieces to wear. I always let her wear whatever she wanted to wear. Since I picked them out in the store I didn't really have any exceptions unless the weather really didn't allow for the outfit. If we were just going to be playing in the backyard and she wanted to wear head-to-toe snow gear and it was an 85 degree day outside, I still let her because we could walk back in at any time. I did however, let her know it was pretty hot outside and that she might be more comfortable in something cooler, but then I left it up to her to make her own decisions about her comfort level. If we were going out somewhere and she wanted to wear something that would be in conflict with the weather I tried a little harder to help her change her mind, but if she was really set on something specific* I always took an extra outfit of my choosing with us in case we needed to change. If she did want to change I made a point to not say anything like,"see I told you you'd be too hot/cold! You should have listened to me in the first place!" Because who really wants to be talked to like that?  I can't think of anyone. But also, I left it up to her to come to that conclusion herself.

My Child:"It's way too hot for that coat, Mama!" 
Me: (Wiping sweat off my face)"You're right!  What should you wear instead?"

If she wanted to wear a fancy dress and shiny shoes to go to Target or Trader Joe's, I always let her. I started keeping the clothing that was reserved for fancy holiday events (and out of season) up out of sight until the event so it would stay nice and clean. After the event it was fair game to wear whenever. I realized all too quickly that you usually only get one season out of anything a child wears because they grow so fast, so why not just let them wear it.

You are only a kid once. Let them enjoy it!

When she was about 2 1/2 to 3 years old she went through this phase of wanting to wear a solid color head-to-toe. So for instance she would pick green one day. She wanted to wear a green shirt, green pants, green socks, green shoes and a green headband to preschool (all various shades of green, of course.) I let her despite the fact that she looked like she was wearing her jammies. Who cares?  When you are a child you can totally get away with wearing something like that. The next day she wore all white. She looked like a tiny nurse. It was adorable. Toddlers are very much into putting things in groups, lining things up, putting them in categories - this is how they learn. Clothing isn't any different. As toddlers both of my kids would line toys up or stack them up one by one. It's the same thing with clothing and wanting to wear all one color. By letting them pick and wear their own clothing creations you are giving them the freedom to create and the chance to learn.

My daughter is in kindergarten now and she still picks her own clothes almost everyday. It's hardly ever a combo I would put together but that doesn't mean for one second that I could do it better. She creates some cute outfits. She's been picking her own clothes without too much influence from me since she was about 16 months old. If I set something out she might put half of it on, but then choose something totally different for the other half. I have always stocked her closet and drawers with very bright colors and patterns. Almost everything I buy her is comfortable to play in, paint in, dig in the dirt in and be free to be a kid in. This is incredibly important. In order for kids to thrive and fully experience their world as a child they must have clothing that will allow them the freedom to play and explore without the fear of getting too dirty.

I volunteered a lot in preschool, pre-K and now in kindergarten and every single day there are a few kids who have come to school so perfectly well groomed and meticulous and looking very reminiscent of a mini adult and they are afraid to play. I can't tell you how many times I have heard a child say, "My mom told me I can't get dirty", or "My mom told me not to take off my (scarf/headband/hair bows/button down shirt/bow tie/ neck tie/etc.,) so it won't get lost." But it keeps them from playing so they just sit out of the activity.  It makes me really sad to be honest. If a child can't get dirty playing with kids at school, when can they?  

A little girl in pre-K who looked like she just stepped out of a magazine ad everyday told the teacher that she "wasn't allowed to do any of the finger painting because her mom didn't want her to ruin her clothes, even with a painting smock." And don't get me wrong, she looked adorable - for a family photo shoot, but it wasn't appropriate for a 4 year old to be dressed like that for school because it didn't allow her to play.  She said that her mom told her that the painting smocks have paint on them so she can't use them either. I don't blame the mom for not wanting to ruin the clothes because they looked very expensive, but keep them for a photo shoot or fancy holiday dinner or something. Even then, the child shouldn't live in fear of being a child and possibly getting dirty. It's not fair to have these high expectations of them. 

So instead of being a typical kid and playing, this little girl with the perfect outfit sat on the bench and watched the other kids play so she could stay clean. 

She couldn't dig in the sand box because she said her shoes were brand new and her mom didn't want them sandy. She couldn't ride the big wheels or tricycles because she had too many frills and layers on her skirt and they would get caught in the wheels and rip. She didn't want to run around and play tag because all of her layers made her too hot and sweaty to run and her fancy slip-on, clacky shoes made her feet hurt and they would slip off if she ran. That sounded like punishment to me. And for what?  For the parents to have an image of a perfectly groomed child?

This is a true story and I witnessed her having to obsess about her outfit every time I saw her. I felt really bad for her and I wanted to tell her mom she was doing a disservice to her child by making her an outcast by not letting her feel free to play like a child because she needed to look perfect everyday, but you can't say these things, of course. I asked her child one day if she had any play clothes and she asked, "what are those?" "They are clothes you can play in and it's ok for them to get dirty." She said, "Oh no, my mom doesn't like me to get dirty in my clothes."  Not that every child has to "get dirty", but they should have the freedom to play in a way that is age appropriate.

So now we're in kindergarten and my child wears every color in the rainbow in one outfit. I have had parents come up to tell me how cute my daughter looks everyday in all of her bright colors and mismatched socks. I make sure to tell them that she picks everything out everyday and that I can't take credit for her unique, colorful style. It's funny because I had a conversation with a mom the other day as we were dropping our girls off at kindergarten. She was telling me how her daughter always wants to pick her own clothes and she said, "I hate it when she wants to do that because she never picks things that I want her to wear and it's always mismatched colors and patterns and I'm like, you are not going out of the house like that, and then we have a big fight about it!" My first thought was, "Why not she's 5? Who cares? You need to pick and choose your battles and that isn't one of them." But I didn't say anything because I could tell she had more to say about it. Then she said, "Her combos are ridiculous. I'm not going to let her wear a striped shirt with a polka dot skirt and argyle socks! What are the other moms going to think if I let her go to school like that?" 

I laughed as I looked over at my own child laughing and running like a wild woman in the kindergarten yard with her friends because what was she wearing?  A purple skirt with bright rainbow hearts all over it, lime green short leggings underneath, a t-shirt with muted, pastel pink, purple and white stripes, one hot pink sock, one bright yellow sock (both from the same set of a 6-pack of socks), turquoise shoes and leg warmers (Baby Legs) pulled up to the ends of her shorts that were cream colored with brown, pink and white argyle. Oh and a hair bow that was hot pink and bright turquoise cheetah print.

I couldn't make that up if I tried!

It was a proud moment for me as a mom who has decided to give up complete control over what my very artistic, very creative child chooses to wear. She looked exactly like a 5 year old kid who picked her own clothes and I'm 100% OK with that!

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Why I Deleted Facebook The Day My Child Started Kindergarten

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When Mama Isn't Ready For The Naps To Stop...Are We Ever?

It's ironic how kids never want to nap, and most of the parents I know would pay big money to be able to take a nap in the middle of the day.  Everyday!

Here is the method I used for getting my older toddler to continue taking daily naps because mama wasn't ready to give them up yet. My method is for children who will sleep "on the move" either in a car or in a stroller.

SIDE NOTE: My Big Girl is what my husband and I consider to be a Spirited Child and this is what worked for us to get her to wind-down. I say this not to label my child or make excuses for her or for me, but to offer hope in case you have a Spirited Child as well and are wondering if they will ever sleep in your lifetime. Gotta find what soothes them and run with it!

I was able to keep my older child napping daily for at least an hour+ til the middle/end of 3 years old.  She is going to be 5 years old very soon (GASP!!) and she will still fall asleep on occasion if we find ourselves in the car during "nap time," especially if she is going through a growth spurt like lately. Like most toddlers, she was extremely high energy and didn't sit still for too long and enjoyed bouncing from one thing to another. I had a new baby at the time too so mama was desperate to keep baby #1 aka Big Girl napping for as long as humanly possible. However, she wasn't goin' down without a fight. Here is my method for doing all I could to prolong the napping process.

The Sleepy Drive.
At nap time pretty much everyday during the week when I was partakin' in some solo parenting, I packed Big Girl and Baby Brother into the car for our daily "sleepy drive" and we all enjoyed the daily wind-down. I put on some very soothing music, gave them each their lovie and a blanket (if it was chilly) and we drove around til they fell asleep. It usually took no more than 15 minutes, but honestly, there were many, many days where I wouldn't even get down the block and at least one of them were already asleep. We have some great "sleepy drive music." It's like Pavlov's Dog.

You did a sleepy drive every single day?
Yep. I was OK with doing this every day at that time because, like everything else with children (good and bad), I knew it wouldn't last forever...and it worked!  Having an overtired toddler who is fussing and crying and fighting a nap for 45+ minutes every single day and then only sleeps for 30 minutes doesn't work when you have a nursing baby who also needs to wind-down and nurse and catch his 15th cat nap of the day - always at the same time of course.

The Early Years:
There was a time where both of them would wake up if I dared move their slumbering body out of the car seat to their bed so during that point in time I prepped everything to kick it in the car for the duration of the nap. I got some things for me to read or write and eat/drink (or I'd get drive-thru coffee!!) and then find a nice, quiet, shady spot by the park (away from any and all leaf blowers!) and we'd chill-out for a good hour to 2 hours or however long they needed to nap that day. Being a SAHM I was able to have this luxury of time during the day, and I'm so thankful for it.

"Is It Time For A Sleepy Drive Yet, Mommy?"
This was a very welcomed break for all three of us during our hectic, ever changing day. The kids were comfortable in their seats, and I was able to chill-out and have a bit of much needed "mama time" where I didn't feel like I had to fold laundry or do dishes (because how could I?? We weren't home. heehee.) I'd spend that time either staring blankly out the window thinking about nothing in particular except for how to get more sleep, I'd make a bunch of To-Do lists and shopping lists, I'd do my bills, I'd run through the drive up ATM (A mother must have designed those), I'd write blogs or I'd read parenting books/magazines. One time I dosed off still wearing my sunglasses,  holding my coffee cup in one hand and a parenting book in the other hand. The parenting book was no doubt a "How-To-Get-More-Sleep" book. Baby Brother was just a few weeks old...life was a wee fuzzy back then. These daily car "kick it" naps became a really nice way to break up the day and a good excuse for mama to relax and meditate.

A 2-in-1 Nap:
Sometimes, depending on what we had going on that afternoon, I'd wake them up or they would wake on their own and we'd get out and play at the park for a bit since we were already there. I made sure to bring along a blanket and some snacks to munch on picnic style, as well as have sand digging toys at the ready. It helped that Baby Brother was still breastfeeding only at that time, so I only had to bring snacks for one kiddo. So I'd sit on the park bench and nurse Baby Brother and chat with other moms while Big Girl got to play with a bunch of new kids since she was always stuck with boring 'ol mama and baby.

That's great an all, but my kids won't sleep in the car.
When Big Girl was toying with the idea of wanting to give up naps around 2-ish when I was pregnant and exhausted with Baby Brother, ("Uhhh, No!") I would pack her in her stroller at nap time and we'd go for a long walk to the park and she'd usually fall asleep. She protested being in any sort of carrier at a very early age. She wanted to be down to boogie around. Thank goodness she was baby #1 because baby #2 lived in a wrap attached to my body. That is the only way I ever got anything done during daylight hours. As a toddler, if she didn't fall asleep in the stroller on our "sleepy walk," then I figured we still got out of the house and had a nice walk together in the sunshine. My pregnant cankles thanked me. If she did nap (bonus for mama!), I'd stop and sit in the shade and read and have a snack and watch butterflies and hummingbirds. Sometimes I'd walk up to the store to walk the isles in peace or grab some lunch or coffee while she napped in the stroller covered with a light blanket for shade and quiet. One of my favorite things to do back then when she fell asleep on our walk was go to the grocery store and get a coffee and maybe something to munch on and sit at their little cafe and read all of the trashy celebrity magazines (for free of course) and get my fill on mindless brain chatter like who was dating whom and who was pregnant, who broke up, who got married...you know, all of the really important things in life.  That's all my preggo mom brain could muster back then.

The Win-Win Scenairo - Getting 2 To Nap:
After Baby Brother was born I'd squeeze him in the Moby Wrap and pack Big Girl in the stroller and we'd all walk. Baby Brother viewed his car seat like a torture chamber and screamed his tiny head off for the duration of our trip regardless of how long it was. So you can imagine my shock and horror super panic when I realized very early on that our tried and true method of the nap time sleepy drives for Big Girl #1 was no longer going to work since Baby Brother was being attacked by aliens back there. Regroup and adapt. He'd sleep in the wrap (and I could nurse him while walking and pushing a stroller if I had to in order to get him back to sleep while we were out - that was my mama superpower), and I already knew that she'd sleep in the stroller. Check.

It sounds silly, but you kinda feel like a rockstar when you get both kids napping at once.  You wish the paparazzi would follow you around and snap up some pics.
Headlines: "Rockstar Super Mom of Teething Baby and Wild Child Toddler gets them BOTH napping at the SAME TIME! What is her secret?!"OK sure, I'll sign autographs. 

Find what works for your children and run with it. If it works for them, then by golly it will work for you! Especially when it comes to sleep-precious-sleep!
I am always changing and adapting to their specific needs be it a walk, a snuggle in the carrier, a rock in the rocker or a car ride because frankly, I needed to have some peace and quiet during the day where they BOTH were asleep (a rare thing with more than 1 child) so I could recharge my mama batteries - so I just tried different things all the time until I found what worked for everyone to get them to sleep each day, peacefully. Some days it was really hit or miss. On the days where it was a "miss," I cried.

Loose-Loose.
Sometimes a "new thing" would only last a week or so and there were PLENTY of times where only one would fall asleep and the other one was W-I-D-E awake, so it's never going to be a home run. That was tough if we were parked somewhere and the awake child was fussy because they wanted to get out and it would eventually wake the other one up...which made mama fussy.  So then we'd just play and play and run wild at the park and *hope* that everyone went down early for bed that night.

Yeaaaaaaa riiiiiiiiiiiight!

The More Things Change The More They Stayed The Same.
As everyone got older and daily naps were still in order - at least for my lil guy, we'd continue with our sleepy drives and Baby Brother would fall asleep and Big Girl would wind-down. She loves to go for drives and enjoys all types of music, likes cuddling with her favorite stuffed guys and finds it a very calming experience overall. Thank goodness. After about 3 months of solid screaming whenever we got near the car let alone got in the car and got buckled, Baby Brother finally made peace with his car seat. Fast forward to 2 years later, he now finds it a calming experience as well, so we can now do sleepy drives for him if we need to. That was a long road. However, he doesn't fight naps everyday like it's his job like his big sister did when she was his age. There are days where I can see that he's getting tired and I'll scoop him up and we'll go into his dark room and snuggle with a blankie for a few minutes in his rocking chair (there are usually a few tears and a minimal bit of fussing and protesting - he is 2 after all) and he'll fall right asleep for a good 2-3 hours.

I know. I'd hate me too if I read this when Big Girl was the same age - being a Spirited Child and all. I also would never have believed it because the only time she ever did anything like that was when she was sick.

Stick With What Works.
If Baby Bother is extra wild that day and can't be calmed for a nap using our rocking chair techniques I pull the plug on it quickly so I don't miss "my window" and we'll all head to the car. They know the drill. "Get your lovies, grab your water, put on your sunglasses and let's move out!"  Mama needs a holy-crap-I-can't-keep-my-eyes-open-any-longer-cuz-it's-the-middle-of-the-day frappuccino! Good thing with them being a bit older now too is that we can head right home after they fall asleep and they will actually stay asleep as I get them out of their car seat and put them into their beds. My Big Girl will usually wake up now if she has fallen asleep, but that's ok. She doesn't really need a nap anymore like she did between 0-3 1/2 years and she'll actually sit and have some "quiet time" when Baby Brother is napping - something she would never ever EVER do before. Hence mama's need for her to nap til she was 3+ years old!! Now that she is getting older she actually will go to bed a bit earlier if she's been running around playing like a wild child during the day as opposed to it revving her up like it did when she was a toddler.

You're probably wondering if we need to do sleepy drives for bedtime. 
We've gotten into a pretty locked in night time routine which consists of a warm bubble bath, naked babies running around refusing to put on jammies, lots and lots of books and lots and lots of cuddling. We're at the point now with our Big Girl where we say, "this is the last book" and we close it, give hugs and kisses and daddy will sing a song he's made up freestyle based on whatever she wants him to sing about ("Horsey Horsey" is a long standing favorite) and we say "night night" and close her door. It has become a rare occasion that she comes out after we say goodnight since she is usually asleep within minutes later.

It was a looooooong road. #SpiritedChild.

Baby Brother still gets rocked to sleep in mama's arms every night like baby #1 at that age because he's my sweet lil cuddle bug and I throughly enjoy our quiet time together at bedtime. And again, he's only 2.  Then daddy comes in to put him into his big boy toddler bed.  He's pretty heavy. Sometimes he wants to sleep with us if he's been fussy so we put him in our bed, and sometimes when I turn his light out after we read books (and before we cuddle and rock in the rocking chair) he hops outta my arms and crawls into his bed on his own bed and says, "I go night night."  
Me: "But...but, don't you want mama to rock you and snuggle you and sing to you til you fall asleep?"  Sniff*Sniff*
Baby Brother: "I sleepy. Bay go night night."
Me: "Night Night My Sweet Love" (Kisses Big Boy, wipes single tear that has escaped my eye and closes his door.)

Night Time Sleepy Drives.
We certainly are no stranger to night time sleepy drives that is for sure. If we've had a particularly hectic day and it's hard to calm the savage beasts or if company has just left after a fun evening and our kids are wild beyond measure or if it was a special dinner and dessert was served we just cut to the chase and take a sleepy drive. I enjoy the quiet time with my husband listening to our sleepy music and having a very quiet conversation while the kids calm down. It was especially enjoyable during Christmas time and we got to see everyone's lights. And I'll admit, when Big Girl was a baby/toddler, we put more miles on our car at night then we ever did during the day. #SpiritedChild. But that was ok. It didn't last forever and it gave my husband and I some really nice, quiet bonding time with each other each evening while we drove around the neighborhood waiting for our little fighter to finally cave in and close her sweet lil lids.

Ever changing, always adapting. Life as a mom.

Top 10 Last-Minute Ways To Get Your Sexy Back By Valentine's Day

 After a long day of changing diapers, putting out tantrum fires,
finger painting, cutting and gluing everything in our path, and scaling Mt. Laundry Pile,
I feel like this Valentine's Day dog.
All droopy and sleepy eyed, needing some coffee and someone to love me
in my unshowered, no make-up,
still-in-my-jammies-because-I'm-way-too-cold-to-get-dressed state.
Thank God for my AMAZING husband who loves me just the way I am!  
Cuz somedays - it just ain't pretty.
Pic by my preschooler - featuring: Bubbles The Dog

Need to get your sexy back right now and don't feel like you have the time?  Here's a list of Top 10 things you can try to get your groove back and celebrate like you did pre-kids!

1. Remove all squeaky and musical toys from your bed.
2. Haven't gotten around to loosing the baby weight or getting your highlights done? Light some candles. Flickering light makes everyone look good. 
3. Move the kids into their own rooms for the night. It's kinda hard to get your sexy back with a co-sleeping preschooler, a toddler sleeping sideways, a baby attached to your breast and your baby daddy on the floor.
4. Forgot to take that pole dancing class at your gym? Watch some Motley Crue videos on YouTube and copy some moves.
5. Don't have dinner reservations? Search “sexy foods” on Google and hope you have some of the ingredients in your fridge.
6. Want to watch a romantic movie to get you in the mood? Pop in The Notebook. Ryan Gosling will do it every time! Just remember to wake up your man, who's sleeping next to you on the couch, when it's time to fool around.
7. Make a sexy playlist on iTunes. Be sure to remove all kid songs. It's hard to get in the mood to the Backyardigans theme song.
8. Search the garage for that naughty nurse's costume you wore for your sororities Halloween party 8 years ago, and while your at it, look for the box that says “pre-pregnancy panties.”
9. Jump in the shower, fix your hair cute, apply make-up, ditch the yoga pants (for once), find a top that isn't covered in baby barf, dig out one of your old bras (not the nursing bras you've been living in), shave off the three months' worth of hair growth from your legs and armpits, trim up any other business you need to attend to, slip into that sexy red dress and heels that haven't seen the light of day since your honeymoon, have a glass of wine at dinner and forget that you are a mom for a few hours. 
10. Take the kids to grandma's,  turn off the lights,  jump into bed with your man and do it all night long without any interruptions. I'm talking about sleep! When you wake up rested for the first time in months you'll have more energy to get frisky.

No more excuses! Which ones do you think you'll try?

*This was originally posted on February 13, 2012 for mom365. Click here to read more of my Top Ten Lists on Mom365. Written by me, Coco Cana. 

Sibling Irony #3: Presents: Funny Kid Arguments. Toddler vs. Preschooler

My toddler is such an optimist. He's been walking around all day long saying, "it's almost Friday!"  Considering it was Monday, I didn't have the heart to correct him. Even though I don't think he even knows what "Monday" is.  So in typical toddler fashion - and if you know toddlers then you know what I'm talking about - he proceeded to spend the rest of the day telling everyone that it was, "almost Friday!"  And depending on how you look at it, he was right. It was almost Friday - in four days. Glass half full. I like that.

However, Big Sissy was growing tired of all of Baby Brother's "unnecessary" celebrating. Here's how it all went down. 

(SIDE NOTE: I'm trying to nip all of the excess fighting in the bud...but this particular argument was kinda funny so it was hard not to laugh while I was telling them to use their nice words with each other.) 

Baby Brother: “It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “No it isn't.”

Baby Brother: “Yes it is!”

Big Sissy: “No it ISN'T!”

Baby Brother: “Yes it IS, Sissy!”  ("Sissy" said with a tiny lisp, btw.)

(SIDE NOTE: Due to budgeting and time constraints I've edited the actual number of times this dialogue went back and forth. Once again if you know toddlers and preschoolers - especially those who are siblings - then you know what I'm talking about.) 

Baby Brother: “It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “Mooooooom, he keeps saying it's almost Friday!

Mom: (behind locked door) "Hey! Quiet down out there! I'm trying to watch last night's 15-hour re-cap episode of The Bachelor on TiVo and finish off these chocolate brownies before daddy eats them all and I can't hear myself think with all that yelling!" 

Juuuuust kiddiiiiiiing. 

You started to have some serious judgements going on though, didn'tcha? Come on admit it!  I saw your eyebrows raise up. We actually don't even have TiVo, so of course that's not true.

 Where were we?  Oh yea - back to the toddler vs. preschooler argument du jour...

"No it's not." 

"Yes it is."

Big Sissy: “He keeps saying it's almost Friday and it's not Friday!  It's January!"

Mama: (trying to muffle the laugh-cough into a bent elbow)"Well Birdie, Baby Brother doesn't really know what day it is. He's only 2 years old. He's just saying it's 'Friday' because he's heard us say that before and he's trying out new words so he can be a part of our conversation too. Today is actually Monday. So instead of yelling at him that he's wrong, let's try to teach our Baby Brother with our nice words that today is Monday but that Friday will be here soon.... OK, Love?"

Big Sissy: (to Baby Brother in the sassy voice reserved for 4 year olds who are trying to "school" their baby siblings) "It's not Friday, Bay. It's Monday.... AND it's January!"

Mom: (oh yea I forgot - mom brain) "Actually Birdie, it's February. Last month was January and this month is February. That's why we've been making our Valentine's Day cards for school because our Valentine's Day party is February 14th, remember? Next month it changes again and it will be March.... And we're using nice voices with each other, please. If not, then you will be choosing to have some time away from playing trains to cool off.

Baby Brother: (as if he's just invented bubblegum) “IT'S ALMOST FRIDAY!”

Big Sissy: (in her nicest, big girl 'teaching voice') "It's not Friday, Baby Brother (caressing his cheek to soften the blow of bad news) it's actually Monday - Feb-boo-r-air-y. January is over...(shakes head) It's gone, Bay Man. Gone forever. And Friday is in 8 days...OK Love?”

Baby Brother: (running the other way with his sword in the air) “Hey-evy-body! It's Almost Friday!”

Big Sissy: “MOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

Mom: (walks into the kitchen looking for pan of chocolate brownies - thinking of ordering TiVo.)

Are we there yet?  Why yes. Yes we are.

Happy almost Friday everyone!

Are you following @coco_cana on twitter yet? She doesn't really know how it works so it's kinda funny watching her flail around over there. Good for a laugh. 

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Dear Neighbors, We Know Christmas Is Over But...

Dear Neighbors, 

     The removal of our blowup Santa Claus riding a motorcycle with a snowman in his side car on our lawn will be total and complete melt-down devastation to our 2 year old. So your help and understanding in this delicate matter will be greatly appreciated. Don't think of "Moto Santa" as a "Christmas decoration"...think of him as a garden gnome.

Sincerely, 

The neighbors who still have up their Christmas decorations. 

January 3, 2013

Moto Santa

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Irresponsible Parenting 101 - Toddler Music Class

Baby Boy says, "I don't wanna work! I just want to bang on the drums all day!

...at Costco."

...my life as a mom.
*heart*
Coco Cana

Someday: A Poem Inspired By My Toddler

Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

Someday your tiny body won't feel like a squishy marshmallow.

Someday you won't have that sweet baby smell.

Someday your chin won't be as soft as a baby's bum.

Someday you won't be sucking your thumb and twirling your hair as you gaze into my eyes while I make you laugh and watch your thumb fall out of your mouth.

Someday I won't lift you up to change your diaper and gasp at what a heavy baby you are.

Someday you won't cry when I leave the room and then throw your arms around my neck sobbing into the soft spot between my shoulder and cheek all because you want me to hold you.

Someday you'll be big enough to ride all of the "big kid rides" with sissy.

Someday I won't be the favorite person in your life.

Someday you won't run everywhere you go making your cheeks bounce up and down while you are making silly noises.

Someday you won't stand at sissy's door crying your eyes out because she won't let you in to play Calico Critters.

Someday mommy will let you have an ice cream cone even though daddy already has.

Someday you'll know every word to all of your favorite songs and you'll have lengthy conversations with your friends and we'll no longer marvel at your amazing vocabulary for a 1 & 1/2 year old.

Someday you won't want to hold my hand.

Someday you'll say, "Goodnight mom. Goodnight dad." And you'll walk into your room and go to bed without first needing to read, "Goodnight Moon."

Someday daddy and I will be able to eat dinner and watch a movie without any interruptions.

Someday you won't spontaneously break out into a silly dance while you are eating animal crackers.

Someday you'll stop eating all of your veggies.

Someday you'll be able to cross the street without me holding your hand or carrying you.

Someday you'll be too big for me to carry.

Someday you'll be too heavy for me to pick up.

Someday I'll be able to get rid of the diaper bag, the stroller, the car seats, the Ergo, the crib...

Someday you'll tell me that you fell in love.

Someday you won't cry in the middle of the night and daddy will bring your into our bed where you'll proceed to do downward dogs and then fall on us and jam your head into our ribs and make snow angels until you are taking up almost the entire mattress...at 3am.

Someday you'll jump off of the side of the pool and you won't need us to catch you.

Someday I'll say, "Give mommy a kiss" and instead of reaching up to kiss me you'll say, "Mooooom!  You're embarrassing me!"

Someday you won't need a high chair, a bib, a toddler spoon or a sippy cup.

Someday you and your sister will be mad at us for moving from Kauai.

Someday you won't use your entire hand as a yogurt spoon.

Someday you won't draw all over your body with markers.

Someday you won't find it hilarious to walk around the house with a box on your head while you bump into the walls.

Someday you won't need a night light or a bed time story or a favorite lovie to comfort you.

Someday you'll make yourself something to eat.

Someday you'll complain to me about your own toddler going through the "terrible two's" and I'll smile and think back to this phase of my life and I will laugh because I'll be so far removed from it, it will finally become funny....I look forward to that day.

Someday you'll want daddy to teach you how to ride his shovelhead, and we'll hold our breath as we watch you ride away.

Someday you'll have your own life, your own thoughts, your own ideas, your own worries and someday you won't want our advice.

Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

******

So today I'll cherish this life we have right now with you being my baby and me being your mommy. I'll cherish the laughter and the tears, the tantrums and the all-nighters, the Houdini-like escapes as I try to change a dirty diaper, the mad dashes down the hall to get a giggling baby into the tub and the naked baby chases after.  I'll cherish every silly whisper you breathe into my ear, every eye poke you give me announcing, "eye!  eye!" and every wet finger in my ear yelling, "ear!  ear!"  I'll continue to marvel when you say things out of the blue like, "5-4-3-2-1 Blast Off!" because you aren't even 2 yet or when you spin in a circle singing, "ashes, ashes..." I'll laugh when you stack all of your toys up on top of each other and when they don't fall over you throw your arms out parallel to the floor and yell, "Taaaa daaaaa!" And above all my heart will continue to melt whenever I see you smile or laugh or run and jump, or say "thank you mommy" when I bring you your "eggy and cheeee" at breakfast, or when you reach for sissy's hand to hold, or say, "ess you mama" when I sneeze or when you keep repeating, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" until I take the thing out of your hand that you no longer want to hold. Because you are my sweet, precious angel baby and I will still love you even when I am no longer walking this earth.

You will forever be my beautiful baby boy with the bright blue eyes and the bouncing blonde curls as you run away from me when I try to kiss you.

Love,
Your mommy



-Colleen Duncan Canavan

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Things I've learned from my 22 month old Little Man.

Dancing is contagious. It makes everyone smile and want to join in.

Laughter is contagious. It makes everyone smile and want to join in.

Why walk when you can run?

Why talk when you can shout?

Even babies can have manners.

Sometimes all you need is your mommy.

Sometimes all you need is your baby.

Sometimes all you need is your sissy.

Sometimes all you need is your daddy.

Sometimes all you need is your thumb.

Dancing to the music in your head makes everyone laugh.

Imagination is awesome!  Everything is a car, every surface is driveable and everything likes to crash.

Everyone loves a ball!  They are for kicking, throwing and cuddling. 

Being pushed around by your sissy (in a toy car) can be the most fun ever!

Hats are for throwing like a frisbee. Unless it's mommy's. In that case I want to wear it to the store.

Bibs are for suckers.

Decathlon for toddlers.

Couch Diving, Table Jumping, Counter Climbing and Dirty Diaper Marathon. Decathlon for toddlers.

A Toddler and Her New Love, The Baby Monitor.

Isn't it funny how you can be around other people's children all the time and you don't really notice all the little things as much; the milestones, the progress, the subtle changes. But of course when they are your own, you marvel in the smallest things!

Lately, it's almost daily that Baby Girl is doing something new and makes me think, "oh my gosh, my little baby girl is getting so big!" And although my heart is soaring for her, it sinks a little too as I think about the tiny infant who couldn't even hold her head up or uncurl her little baby fingers just a short time ago. And now she's almost 16 months old!

So yesterday she walked over to the table and grabbed her baby monitor and was walking around with it, holding it by the very end tip of the antennae. You know, a good sturdy spot. And ever since we've been going to Gymboree (the Play and Music Place), I have been trying to do some similar things here at home that we do there, like have them put away their own stuff.

One of the things they do there is to bring out a box of toys to play with during class time. The "busy box." They only let them play with this new, exciting stuff for like 2 minutes, then they sing the "clean up, clean up song" and make the babies put everything back in the box, which just ticks her off to no end!  

The first few times we were there and they had them clean up so fast making a few babies cry, Baby Girl included I was thinking, "this seems a little rushed that they are already cleaning up", because the "busy box" of toys is so exciting and such a huge hit!  

Why rock the boat? 

 She has cried a few times, and still will if she hasn't had a nap before class, but she's getting better about putting the toys back so soon. We haven't actually gotten to the point of her going up to the box and dropping in her loot and waving, "bye-bye," but we're working on it. Right now we're still at the point where I have to prep her for clean up when I see the lady head for the box and walk her over to the box (sort of like walking a dog through the vets door), and say, "Ok Baby, say bye-bye, time to clean up, put it back in the box", etc. 

This is usually followed by me having to then pry the musical instrument, ball, rattle, squishy thing, bumpy teether, etc., out of her sweaty little baby hands and convince her that this is fun! Sometimes she goes for it and sometimes it ends in arms and legs stiffening up like a soldier and animal grunts coming from the bottom of her throat while she is kind of bouncing in protest.

Other kids are happy to pick up every toy they see on the ground and drop it in the box. Not my child, she'd rather take things out faster than everyone else is putting them in and stash them away for future play. And you can see her little baby mind working;

"Ok if I tuck this toy here and squeeze this here I can fit this here and hold this here..." 

 Sorry baby girl, we're singing the "clean up, clean up song."  Doesn't it sound happy and fun? Doesn't it? Everyone loves to clean up! (The first lie we are teaching our baby!)

So long story short, I'm trying to not just take things out of her hands that she isn't supposed to have and then redirect her onto something else. I do sometimes if we are in a hurry or it's the end of the day and mama needs a nap! But mostly I'm trying to take the time to teach her to put it back and get something else. 

Yesterday was a breakthrough and mama almost wept!

Summer grabbed her monitor and started walking through the house with it and when I saw it I thought, "crap, I forgot to move it from the coffee table from when she was napping!" So I said, "no-no, go put it back on the table." and at first I thought, "yea right, this is gonna work." Then she stopped and gave me a look like she knew she wasn't supposed to have it and kinda stood there and then shook her head "no" (like only a toddler can perfect) and said, "Dada?" As if Dada will say yes. So I thought, "well, maybe this will work." So I said again, "no-no Baby Girl, go put it back on the table." (I kinda had to say it a few times and use lots of sign language motioning to the table.) and she actually turned around and walked back over to the table! I was so proud. So I said, "Yay! Good girl for following directions!" 

Well, mama made too quick with the endless praise because said monitor antennae was yet to be pried from her pudgy little grip. So she lifted it back off the table, looking at me with the "I know I'm not supposed to be doing this...buuuut..." face and again I started at square one. 

"Put it back on the table." 

We played a few rounds of "if I set it on the table, but still hold the tip of the antennae is it considered putting it back?" game.

I resisted the urge to just walk over and gently remove it from her hands and give her something else to play with. I was trying to teach her that it was OK to put something back on your own in addition to following directions. Plus, she wasn't really going to do any damage to the monitor, I figured we'd just take the time to learn something new. I tried to hold back my "good girl, Baby" praises until she actually released her grip, but I still wanted her to know that she was doing what mama wanted her to. So I fused the two and said, "good girl Lovie, put it back on the table." Although she was reluctant she actually set it down and let go as opposed to just rubbing it all over the top of the table appearing to have put it back, and she walked away clapping! So of course mama was thrilled and was singing her praises. She was feeling giddy and clapping for herself and actually seemed proud of her accomplishments. Then we did a "high-5," something we just learned the other day.

...and as quickly as Juliet searches for her forbidden lover Romeo, Baby Girl walked back over to her baby monitor, rescued him off the coffee table and made a mad dash in the opposite direction.

*sigh*

Baby steps mama, baby steps.