I am the mother of a Spirited Child. She was brought here to take me on a journey to find myself, to better myself and to change who I am. I am exhausted. I feel like a failure most of the time because what works today will most likely not work tomorrow. I feel like I'm lost in the woods without any markers to get me home. I feel like a horse that is refusing to be broken...but knows I should be because then life will be a lot easier. You see, I too am a Spirited Child, so I'm stubborn. I too am strong willed, demanding, persistent, have big dreams and am far too observant for my liking... I too seek to change the world and demand greatness from others, especially when they are not living their true passions. I am the mother of a Spirited Child and these are my observations.
Part 1: A Rough Draft.
Her energy is unmatched and refuses to be harnessed. Her laugh can be heard miles away, her cries break the sound barrier, and the term, "Daredevil" doesn't even begin to describe it.
All things nature course through her veins and she is truly at peace when digging in the mud, building castles of sand, inspecting insects hiding in the grass, studying animals in the wild or holding a red wiggler from her worm compost bin.
She talks to animals...I mean she actually communicates with them. They trust her, they flock to her and they are comforted by her. Butterflies have landed on her shoulder. Cats run to her from out of nowhere and fall at her feet. Lizards and grasshoppers have walked out of the bushes across the concrete into her open palm - on more than one occasion. Lady bugs crawl the length of her body until the wind finally carries them away several minutes later. A dragonfly landed on her arm and stayed there long enough for her to show it off to her nature school classmates. Bees like to be near her as she whispers songs to them and asks if she can pick their lavender - and I have never seen so many hummingbirds in my life like I have seen in her presence.
The rain calls to her and she must run through it and catch it in buckets and marvel at the waterfall gushing off of her umbrella as she is standing under a rain gutter.
She appears to be almost reborn in very windy weather and she loves to embrace it face on, laughing wildly, eyes twinkling, arms outstretched as if she were hugging the universe.
If she could dine alfresco under our Paris patio lights every single day of the year she'd be a happy girl.
She cares deeply for her baby brother and is so in-tune with him she could tell me what he was thinking and successfully predicted what he was going to do as a baby from the day he was born. She also knew he was going to be a boy way before he was born and never once wavered on her "guess." She was two years old when she made her accurate prediction. She gave him his nick name when he was one week old and over two years later she still calls him, Bay (short for Baby.)
Although she is her mother's daughter, I am clearly no match for the extreme changes in mood and full throttle pace she insists on living her daily life. There are times where I feel as if I'm dealing with a seasoned hostage negotiator, or a powerful lawyer arguing a high profile case. And don't let her age fool you, she's been able to McGuyver her way out of any sticky situation since she could walk. Many times I have become tangled in the intricate booby-trap of string, ribbon and dangling toys tied to the door handles, light fixtures and bedposts in her room. We're still trying to figure out who taught her how to tie double knots.
The words,
"You can't" are an invitation to prove you wrong.
The word,
"No" is merely a stepping stone to the word,
"yes."
The words,
"Not now" are just road blocks that she crashes through on her way to,
"how about now?"
The words,
"You CAN do it" will be met with,
"But I caaaaaan't"as she flings her body onto the floor to claim her position...unless it was her idea.
She is the princess in the top of the tower because she scaled it's walls and climbed up there herself. However, there is no need to rescue her because she'll either repel down in her make-shift harness or she'll fly down with wings she's fashioned from an old sheet, a hair clip and a belt.
She is the knight and the dragon fighting to the death in the same battle.
She is the
life of the party, the
party promoter, the
party crasher, the
party pooper and
the cops busting it up - all in the same night.
She is my little Jane Goodall fully immersed in the animal kingdom.
She is my joy, she is my tears, she is my frustration, she is my reflection, she is my laughter, she is my anger, she is my hope, she is my treasure, she is my exhaustion, she is my pride beaming from my chest and the burning lump in my throat as I choke back tears of happiness when I watch her accomplishments and she is the one who will keep me on my toes for the rest of my days.
She is the baby girl who was determined to survive and thrive during a very bad illness I contracted when I was 7 weeks pregnant with her that had us very worried. She is the baby girl who bruised my ribs from the inside from kicking me so hard for weeks on end when I was pregnant with her. She was the baby girl who demanded a grand entrance at birth and came when she was darn good and ready - 5 days late. She is the baby girl who reached up and touched my face within seconds of being born and held it there for the longest time while we both cried looking into each others eyes.
She is my wild horse running free through the morning mist along the sand.
She is the unyielding waves crashing against the rocky shore taking pieces of it with them.
She is my colorful bird soaring high above the earth and then diving straight down into the ocean without a splash.
She is my sea otter pup surfing the waves without any fear.
She is my puppy dog running down the street who broke free from the gate, tongue wagging in the wind, looking back with laughter in her eyes because she knows she'll never be caught and has no plans to return on "The Man's" schedule.
She is the quiet drifting of the clouds in the sky and the thunder rolling in for an unexpected storm all in the same afternoon.
My darling daughter,
Your smile has the wattage of 1000 suns
You have the power of the ocean pumping through your body the entire time you are awake.
The dreams you speak of sound like magical fairy lands with winged unicorns soaring through purple skies and dragons and butterflies all talking to you - the stuff found only in the movies.
You are my dream and my reality. My bright sun and my full moon. My gray skies and my pouring rain, my mud puddles and my rainbow. The sand beneath my feet and the cool waves trickling past my toes. You are my tiger and my lamb. You are the laughter in my ear as you move the hair away from my eyes and the tiny lego I step on at 2am while walking to the bathroom in the dark.
You are my sweet, fiery girl and I love you with every single fiber of my being. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother and for teaching me patience and understanding and how to look at the world through different eyes.
Love,
Mommy
"The best thing you've ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously.
It's only life after all."
-Indigo Girls
My wild, carefree, Spirited Child, nature girl is turning 7 in a few days and I wanted to hold on to 6 for a bit longer and capture some of her 6 year old aspirations, hopes, wishes, dreams and things she holds dear to her heart. Over the next few days I will be asking her these questions and writing them down.
