Wednesday

A Post A Day Project - Day #4: Hoping To Share My Water Birth Story On The Ricki Lake Show!

This is pretty cool...Ricki Lake is going to have a new talk show again!  I'm super psyched because over the past few years I have become a HUGE Ricki Lake Fan!  It all started with her amazing documentary called, "The Business Of Being Born" that completely changed the way I look at childbirth. Then when I was pregnant with baby #2 I read her book,  "Your Best Birth" and it helped to confirm my choices to have a more natural birth.

Since she is starting her new talk show again she is asking to hear from mom's who have changed the way they birthed their baby due to the documentary to possibly be on an upcoming show.

*raises hand* "Me! Me! Meeeee! Oooo Oooo Pick Me!"

(That is a little shout out to all of my teacher friends who are heading back to work soon after a nice, relaxing summer off.  Did you miss hearing that all summer?  )


So I sent the producers this blog post talking about my water birth experience and what my decisions were for deciding on a water birth at home with a midwife and a doula and they liked it. So now I have to make and upload a video of myself to Friends of Ricki to *possibly* be on the show.

I guess this means I need to take a shower, wear something cute and put on make-up to look somewhat presentable for the video.  Eh.  Honestly though, I don't know when I'm going to be able to do this thing. I think I'm going to have to make it at midnight or something because every time I start to do it (or let's be honest, every time I start to THINK about starting to do it) the kids are totally up my grill. You know how you become the most interesting person on the face of the earth (to your children) the minute you pick up the phone to make a call?  Yea, try making a damn video blog!  Impossible!

To the Ricki Lake Show Producers, "I'll make one, I promise!!"




To read a "poem" I wrote about my water birth experience click here

To read about my Post A Day Project click here.

Monday

Someday: A Poem Inspired By My Toddler



Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

Someday your tiny body won't feel like a squishy marshmallow.

Someday you won't have that sweet baby smell.

Someday your chin won't be as soft as a baby's bum.

Someday you won't be sucking your thumb and twirling your hair as you gaze into my eyes while I make you laugh and watch your thumb fall out of your mouth.

Someday I won't lift you up to change your diaper and gasp at what a heavy baby you are.

Someday you won't cry when I leave the room and then throw your arms around my neck sobbing into the soft spot between my shoulder and cheek all because you want me to hold you.

Someday you'll be big enough to ride all of the "big kid rides" with sissy.

Someday I won't be the favorite person in your life.

Someday you won't run everywhere you go making your cheeks bounce up and down while you are making silly noises.

Someday you won't stand at sissy's door crying your eyes out because she won't let you in to play Calico Critters.

Someday mommy will let you have an ice cream cone even though daddy already has.

Someday you'll know every word to all of your favorite songs and you'll have lengthy conversations with your friends and we'll no longer marvel at your amazing vocabulary for a 1 & 1/2 year old.

Someday you won't want to hold my hand.

Someday you'll say, "Goodnight mom. Goodnight dad." And you'll walk into your room and go to bed without first needing to read, "Goodnight Moon."

Someday daddy and I will be able to eat dinner and watch a movie without any interruptions.

Someday you won't spontaneously break out into a silly dance while you are eating animal crackers.

Someday you'll stop eating all of your veggies.

Someday you'll be able to cross the street without me holding your hand or carrying you.

Someday you'll be too big for me to carry.

Someday you'll be too heavy for me to pick up.

Someday I'll be able to get rid of the diaper bag, the stroller, the car seats, the Ergo, the crib...

Someday you'll tell me that you fell in love.

Someday you won't cry in the middle of the night and daddy will bring your into our bed where you'll proceed to do downward dogs and then fall on us and jam your head into our ribs and make snow angels until you are taking up almost the entire mattress...at 3am.

Someday you'll jump off of the side of the pool and you won't need us to catch you.

Someday I'll say, "Give mommy a kiss" and instead of reaching up to kiss me you'll say, "Mooooom!  You're embarrassing me!"

Someday you won't need a high chair, a bib, a toddler spoon or a sippy cup.

Someday you and your sister will be mad at us for moving from Kauai.

Someday you won't use your entire hand as a yogurt spoon.

Someday you won't draw all over your body with markers.

Someday you won't find it hilarious to walk around the house with a box on your head while you bump into the walls.

Someday you won't need a night light or a bed time story or a favorite lovie to comfort you.

Someday you'll make yourself something to eat.

Someday you'll complain to me about your own toddler going through the "terrible two's" and I'll smile and think back to this phase of my life and I will laugh because I'll be so far removed from it, it will finally become funny....I look forward to that day.

Someday you'll want daddy to teach you how to ride his shovelhead, and we'll hold our breath as we watch you ride away.

Someday you'll have your own life, your own thoughts, your own ideas, your own worries and someday you won't want our advice.

Someday you won't need me to rock you to sleep while I stroke your hair and hum your favorite songs holding you for as long as you need me to because I know this won't last forever.

******

So today I'll cherish this life we have right now with you being my baby and me being your mommy. I'll cherish the laughter and the tears, the tantrums and the all-nighters, the Houdini-like escapes as I try to change a dirty diaper, the mad dashes down the hall to get a giggling baby into the tub and the naked baby chases after.  I'll cherish every silly whisper you breathe into my ear, every eye poke you give me announcing, "eye!  eye!" and every wet finger in my ear yelling, "ear!  ear!"  I'll continue to marvel when you say things out of the blue like, "5-4-3-2-1 Blast Off!" because you aren't even 2 yet or when you spin in a circle singing, "ashes, ashes..." I'll laugh when you stack all of your toys up on top of each other and when they don't fall over you throw your arms out parallel to the floor and yell, "Taaaa daaaaa!And above all my heart will continue to melt whenever I see you smile or laugh or run and jump, or say "thank you mommy" when I bring you your "eggy and cheeee" at breakfast, or when you reach for sissy's hand to hold, or say, "ess you mamawhen I sneeze or when you keep repeating, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" until I take the thing out of your hand that you no longer want to hold. Because you are my sweet, precious angel baby and I will still love you even when I am no longer walking this earth.

You will forever be my beautiful baby boy with the bright blue eyes and the bouncing blonde curls as you run away from me when I try to kiss you.

Love,
Your mommy



-Colleen Duncan Canavan









Sunday

Cooking: Summertime Chicken Salad Sandwich

Chances are during the summer you probably have some cooked chicken begging to be eaten in your fridge. It might be BBQ'd, grilled, roasted. The possibilities are endless. But no matter how it's been cooked it will most likely be really good as a chicken salad sandwich.

We bought a rotisserie chicken yesterday for a BBQ with friends and I knew I had some celery in the fridge too. On a hot summer day like today a chicken salad sandwich with lots of sweet crunch just sounded yummy.

I only made enough for a small batch so I didn't use very much of anything. I always recommend making things to taste anyway. If I were going to make a large portion of this I'd probably do it like this:


  • 2 cups cooked chicken - cubed
  • 2 stalks celery - diced super small (please consider choosing organic celery.)
  • 1/4 cup cashews - chopped (I like to use the raw ones.)
  • 1 apple diced super small (please consider choosing organic apples.)
  • 1/4 cup Best Foods Mayo (or to taste)
  • pepper - to taste
  • Hawaiian Sweet Rolls


Mix all together in a bowl and scoop onto a Hawaiian Sweet Roll or your favorite bread.

Enjoy!

Summertime Chicken Salad Sandwich with cashews, celery and apples.

*No red grapes were harmed in the making of this sandwich, however, they were really yummy as a side dish.


There is nothing like fresh fruits and veggies in the good ol' summertime. Before you venture out to the farmer's markets and grocery stores with your reusable bags print out this list for your purse. It's a good one to have on hand.









Cuddle Fairy

Saturday

A Post A Day Project - Day #3: Wow, This Twitter Thing Actually Works!

Twitter is a total mystery to me. It's full of symbols with weird names and everything is a link to something else and funky characters take you to their hipster badge (instagram picture) and there isn't a "dot com" or a "www" in the whole bunch. It's all just totally foreign to me. Although I have a twitter account and have just recently reached 100 tweets - that I sent out (what the heck did I send out?) it still makes me go,

"OK, how do I do this again?"

Cue the scratching head and the derber-derbers.

Anyway, so the other night I went to McCabe's Guitar Shop in Santa Monica, Ca with some good friends for a birthday concert with Sean Rowe and his opener, Soko. It was an amazing night of acoustic bliss. I'll write more on that later which will lead me to edit this post to create a fancy link and I might add more stuff too - you never know so stay tuned - but then again I might not because what would I add extra besides a link that I wouldn't otherwise just say right here in the "first draft" so this is kind of a silly teaser really since no one wants a teaser that turns out to be someone's flaky procrastination - so the moral of this run-on sentence is - besides, "hey kids, listen to your high school English teachers or you'll end up like me!", um....where was I?

So yea, McCabe's was awesome and the music was very inspiring. The opener Soko was sharing her hauntingly beautiful songs about pain and tormented heartbreak which inspired me to write this poem.  I've never actually written a poem about someone I didn't actually know. Well, that's not true, I'm sure I penned many a sappy tale about a boy from New Kid's On The Block, or Leo Decaprio back in my high school days. Even though I stopped listening to New Kid's in 8th grade.  So this was an exercise in something new to write this about this woman who sang for us. I'll be honest, I don't ever really get anyone's poetry. Especially someone's rambled musings that have no rhyme or reason. And that is perfectly OK. It was just something that needed to be written. So I don't actually expect that someone will get this one either, because that is exactly what it is (especially if you actually like poetry.  If you do and you're a poetry snob, (you know who you are) then this is not a poem.

I repeat: THIS IS NOT A POEM! 

So to get to the whole, "Wow, this twitter thing actually works" part. I realized, "Oh, I bet this girl has a twitter" (of course she does. What self respecting artist doesn't?) so I went on that and thought that I could send this poem to her to read. She's also on facebook so I posted it there too just in case I messed up the twitter thing. Highly likely.  So I was all set to tweet her this link last night and then I was like,


"OK, how do I do this again?"


But, obviously it worked. She got it. 


This was my original tweet:


This was Soko's response:
 COCO, this is beautiful.. You are a great writer.. I am really touched by your words.. Thank you for the love and sweetness.. <3 p="p">



I thought that was pretty darn cool.

Friday

A Post A Day Project - Day #2: A Visit From The Writer's Block Fairy

Pic credit: embracedisruption dot com

So it's ironic that on day #2 of my Post A Day Project, I have writer's block. I can't really think of anything witty or interesting or entertaining to write about. So I'm going to just do what an old writing teacher told me to do during writer's block. Just keep writing. Don't take your pen off the page (so to speak) and just keep writing til something pops into your head. Because eventually something will pop into your head. Even if you just write, "I can't think of a darn thing to write about."  Rinse and repeat. 

So...um...I can't think of a darn thing to write about.

*yawn* stretch*sip*scratch head*flex neck*blink*widen eyes*smack face*

(I'm a bit tired too so that is the reason for the song and dance one goes through when falling asleep at the wheel on a long drive at 3am.)

So obviously I have a total case of the "derber-derbers" going on right now.  You know, where you make kiss lips and then you take your finger parallel to your mouth and move it up and down quickly while making noises?  





...that's funny. You totally just did that didn't you?  It's OK. I won't tell anyone.

When my kids can't find anything to do ("I'm bored mom!") they start fighting with each other and tormenting each other for kicks. At first there is laughter, and then pissed off laughter where you're like, ("hey, you kind of crossed the line there"), and then it very quickly turns into yelling, ("Noooo Sissy!"), toy grabbing, ("that's MINE!"), chest pushing, ("Oooooowwwwwwww!") and then tears, ("Heeeeee hiiiiit meeeeeee!") I feel a bit like this right now with my writer's block. It's kind of being a jerk.

...welp, I think I smell poop. So that'll do it for now. 

Cue the toddler running in the opposite direction. 

Yep. Confirmed. 

So I will leave you with my favey writer's quote of the day that pretty much sums up how I feel about my entire post and where it all went terribly wrong:



“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.”
- Ray Bradbury

A Soko Inspired Poem



Soko opening for Sean Rowe at
McCabe's Guitar Shop in Santa Monica, Ca.
  August 17, 2012


Pushing my fingers through my chest
past the bones,
feel the pain.
Lights blind my eyes as I reach in deep,
deeper down than I had planned.
There it is -
I hold my breath
in the haunting silence
of this room full of giants.
Small as a mouse I stand here bleeding...
I feel the pulse, pulse, pulsing through my fingers,
hair standing straight off my neck.
The light burning my eyes is whispering to me
letting me know I'm right where I should be.
Gasping and grasping tightly, I tug
forcing it to rip free.
Still pumping, ever pumping I pull it through the tunnel I left
to find my way out.
Because lord knows, I need a way out.
On the edge of a music stand I present this beating heart of mine as an offering to strangers in a dark room.
All of my stories, books full of stories pumping through those veins,
memories dripping, ever dripping to the floor.
My body still shrouded in pain - 
and I can't help but wonder if it's too much for this young life
as I stand here yearning for more?
I smile and trust you with my soul because if I don't I'll die from a life less lived.
I'll collapse from the weight of these words I carry on my back
and the memories will haunt my mind like a ghost floating through an attic...
...like an addict floating through a life.
So here I stand before you
naked
shattered
bones rattled bare
in my state of terrified adoration for the stage that calls me in my sleep.
And I will sing my pain for strangers in a dark room surrounded by giants
and if we all break free
ever free we will be
becoming angles who sing as one
beautifully.

-Colleen Duncan Canavan


*This poem was written after I got home from the amazing show at McCabe's Guitar Shop on August, 17, 2012.  We went to see Sean Rowe who kicked ass and whose words made us think, they made us cry, they made us laugh and at times they made us want to jump up and dance.  His soft spoken opener, Soko was charming and heartbreaking and the pain oozing out up on that stage made me want to slit my wrist half way though her set because it was so beautifully raw and touching.  After she left the stage we all looked at each other and just said, "wow!"  
This super cool evening was a birthday concert gifted to me by a very good, long time friend.  We met all the way back in kindergarden.  Thanks Leah!  This was truly a wonderful gift because you see, I am a stay at home mom who has little ones. I have a baby and a preschooler who like me to tuck them into bed at night so evenings out like this are rare. Especially when they are not with my husband who encourages me to go.  It was an awesome evening spent with wonderful people, delicious food, amazing live music and it left me feeling richly inspired - everything I ever want out of life.

Thank you!

Colleen Duncan Canavan "Coco Cana" is a freelance writer, two kids call her "mommy", a motorcycle riding hottie calls her "babe" and she is a lover of all things that burn deep within us. Except for heartburn, of course. That just sucks.  You can follow her mom's blog called, My Tales From The Crib here

Thursday

A Post A Day Project - Day #1: Create More and Spend Less Time on Facebook!

It's no secret, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I hate it for many reasons. There is so much negativity on there, namely on the message boards and group forums. Everyone is trying to outdo  one another and everyone is trying to school each other. Even though you can see the person's real name and profile picture for some reason that still does not keep them from spouting off their negativity for the world to read. What happened to being held accountable for your actions?  Everyone has an opinion about everything which is fine but lately it seems as though it's usually a negative one.

So for that I hate it.

Being the sensitive person that I am it can really put me in a bad mood to read all of this crap especially first thing in the morning. Which is what we've trained ourselves to do these days, right?


  • Get up 
  • Make coffee 
  • Check facebook. 


Blah. 

So I have decided to stop checking FB first thing in the morning. Instead I'll check my online banking (Thanks Kristin for the reminder to do that daily!) and I'm going to write my post a day.  I'm not saying I'm deleting my account or anything or I'm never going back on there. I've tried that and just like the mob it sucks you back in. I never mentioned that?  Another post for another time I suppose.

Oh yea, I never got to the reasons why I love facebook. I'll have to think about that one and get back to you. Nothing comes to mind at the moment aside from being able to see updated pictures of my friends and family. Other than that.... *shrug*

Facebook Smacebook

A Post A Day Project: To Be A Writer One Needs To Write.



My mom's cousin Sherry was telling me about Carol Burnett's memoir and she said she sat down and wrote a page a day until it was done. (I'm pretty sure that is what she said. I have serious "mom brain" these days so I could be totally wrong, but you get the general idea of what I'm getting at.) So this is my attempt at writing more - a page a day.  I am by no means writing a memoir, but I do intend to write more in general. So here it goes. I plan to write whatever is the first thing that pops into my head that day just so I can get the ball rolling in my brain and get the creative juices flowing in order to work on other writing projects. But here's the kicker (for me anyway) I also plan to edit and post it to my blog everyday too, which gets hard to do with two kids running around. So there will be minimal rewrites and probably no pictures on these ones. I just want to bang it out and get it out the door.

I'm not sure how many I'll do since it's just a daily exercise for myself to pursue the creative arts as opposed to the brain numbing exercises I've been partaking in which is spending too much time on the internet filling my space with negative energy.

So...


Write everyday!

Here are some writing quotes I've found recently that I really connect with. I love websites who put things like this all on one spot for people like me who like quotes.



“You must write every single day of your life... You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads... may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

 Ray Bradbury




“Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

 Jane Yolen


“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” 
 Maya Angelou

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” 
 Ernest Hemingway

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.” 
 Saul Bellow

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.” 
 Robert Frost

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” 
 Sylvia Plath

“Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” 
 Anton Chekhov

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.” 
 Stephen King, Different Seasons



"If you don't write about the things that are burning inside of you begging to come out they will one day explode all over some stranger who is sitting beside you at the doctor's office, and that my friend is never pretty."
Colleen Duncan Canavan




Friday

Things I've learned from my 22 month old Little Man.

Dancing is contagious. It makes everyone smile and want to join in.

Laughter is contagious. It makes everyone smile and want to join in.

Why walk when you can run?

Why talk when you can shout?

Even babies can have manners.

Sometimes all you need is your mommy.

Sometimes all you need is your baby.

Sometimes all you need is your sissy.

Sometimes all you need is your daddy.

Sometimes all you need is your thumb.


Dancing to the music in your head makes everyone laugh.

Imagination is awesome!  Everything is a car, every surface is driveable and everything likes to crash.

Everyone loves a ball!  They are for kicking, throwing and cuddling. 

Being pushed around by your sissy (in a toy car) can be the most fun ever!

Hats are for throwing like a frisbee. Unless it's mommy's. In that case I want to wear it to the store.

Bibs are for suckers.











Tuesday

Monday

I'm not a sports fan, but I sure do love me some Olympics!!


Watching the "Olies" aka the Olympics every single night since the opening ceremonies (yes, you read that right, "every-single-night") I'm starting to feel like a bit of a sports under achiever.  I was never really a sports girl growing up. I played soccer and I liked it as a kid but I was never super competitive (btw, it's totally OK to read into that, that "I wasn't very good." haha.) I was the goalie one season, I think I was in 4th grade and I did quite well as goalie since I was tall for my age. However, we had a really good team that year so I didn't see much action down at my end. In fact during one game where we were dominating I got so bored I actually sat down and started making a daisy chain necklace - during the game. Let's just say my coach wasn't thrilled by that. However, that was the season I made my first goal in a sudden death shoot out, and I saved every shot but one, which won us a spot in the semi-finals! So that is my crowning glory in sports achievement. That season I was either the goalie or a defender. Back then we called them "full-backs."  So if you were way back there you weren't the one up on the front lines making goals. So when my coach told me I was one of the "kickers" for the sudden death shoot out, I was pretty excited. After I made my first goal I did cart wheels all the way down the field.  I'm pretty sure that coincided with the 1984 Olympics which was held in Los Angeles, Ca and Mary Lou Retton was dominating the gymnastics scene that year.  (Remember her perfect 10 on the vaults?) I pretty much did cartwheels in lieu of walking the entire summer. My grandparents lived down in San Clemente, Ca a few blocks from the ocean and I did cartwheels the entire way down the hill to the beach, to the end of the pier and back and all the way back UP the hill. I was 8 so I had the stamina and since I thought I was Mary Lou Retton I was going for the gold, naturally and I didn't want to let my team down. The most awesome part of this story is that I had a broken arm so my left arm was in a cast from my finger tips to above my elbow (in a bent position.) So all of my cartwheels were one handed. Even the up-hill ones.  Like I said, I totally thought I was Mary Lou Retton, so a silly little broken arm wasn't going to stop me from doing my favorite thing in the world as an 8 year old (who was going for a gold medal - let's not forget that part.) I have a picture somewhere. I'll have to find it and scan it on here.

By the way, in case you're wondering about our Olympic consumption aka obsession, we don't just watch a few events each night here and there, we've been watching every event, every night from 8-midnight since it started.

We sure do love us some Olympics!


(In case you don't remember Mary Lou Retton's perfect 10 on the vaults, here you go.  Enjoy!)


Wednesday

My Summer Bucket List

Ahhh, the lazy days of summer...




Today is August 1st and to some, that means that summer is almost over. The stores are getting rid of their cool camping gear and fun beachy things and replacing them with back packs, trapper keepers and pee chee folders.

....Uh-oh, did I just totally date myself?


   


Don't let September creep up on you without doing all of the things you talked about way back in June.  This one is for the "list makers" of the group. You know who you are.


My Summer Bucket List:
  • Watch as much of the 2012 Olympic Summer Games as possible! **(Ok so the 2012 Olympic Summer Games are long over but I'm sure you'll think of something good here!)**
  • Take a picnic dinner to the rest of the concerts in the park.
  • Visit my all time favorite beach, San Clemente and splash around in the waves.
  • Pitch a tent and have a camp out in the back yard with the kids.
  • Take surf lessons or SUP lessons.
  • Have a bon fire and roast marshmallows. 
  • Fly a kite.
  • Catch the evening fireworks at Disneyland.
  • Girls Night Out!
  • Make homemade ice cream.
  • Go on a date with my hubby, dine al fresco and drink wine.
  • Eat all dinners on our patio under our "Paris lights."
  • Take walks after dinner and enjoy the cool evening air.
  • Find a recipe for and make a jello salad (the kind with cream cheese and a pretzel crust from my childhood.)
  • Go for a bike ride.
  • BBQ with friends.
  • Have my hubby teach me how to ride his shovelhead.
  • Spend the day at the water park and get a cabana.
  • Take morning walks through the park with the kids and lie on the grass looking for shapes in the clouds.
  • Plant more stuff in our garden.
  • Write more.
  • Find a good book to read.
  • Simplify, streamline and de-stress our lives.  (Or at least figure out how to!)
  • Spend more quality time relaxing and enjoying life OUTSIDE and spend less time indoors on the computer!!!!!



What's on your bucket list?
  


To continue reading more from My Tales From The Crib, click here

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