Is August Too Early To Get Excited For Christmas Time At Disneyland?

This photo is the property of My Tales From The Crib and @Coco_Cana. It was taken by Colleen Duncan Canavan at Disneyland during the 2012 Christmas season. We just so happened to walk by the castle when it was all lit up and they had blocked it off for something (fireworks maybe?) and I captured this in about 2 seconds as we were walking by. Mind you there are a GAZILLION people behind me, next to me, annoyed with me for stopping yet waiting to take my very spot to capture their own castle shot with out anyone in it. My husband is not one to stop in the dead center of a very busy, moving crowed and swim upstream like a salmon to capture the perfect picture...but I am. And I'm glad I did.  I love this pic. We blew it up for our daughter's room. Even though it's not a professional shot and it's pretty dark, it's priceless to us. 

We are kinda Disney Freaks over here. I worked there right after I graduated from high school. In fact the day I started was the very next day after my Grad Night as a senior. I was exhausted during orientation to say the least. But it was an awesome summer job. I was an "Outdoor Vendor" so my job was to sell things from the little carts scattered throughout the park like churros, ice cream (the ice cream bike in Toontown was so much fun!), hot dogs, drinks and popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn. I was also the person holding about a million Mickey Mouse balloons on Main Street.

Over the course of the summer I think I posed for about a thousand pictures with people from all over the world because they wanted to stand next to me holding the balloons. (BTW, "no you can not hold them yourself! Even for 'just' the photo!" LOL!) I also worked at all of the popcorn carts and sold glow sticks along the parade route back when it was The Electrical Light Parade and The Lion King Parade. (Somewhere in the distance I just heard my mom say, "That was my favorite parade!  I wish they would bring that one back. I loved The Lion King Parade!!") I agree with her. It was an awesome parade.

Btw, this was the summer of 1994.  It was a such cool job for an outgoing single girl who had just graduated high school, who had her own car and was about to turn 18. There were close to 500 people in my department alone! So every single day I worked I met new people (meaning I met new cute guys!)  Plus I could get into Disneyland for free whenever I wasn't working and I got a discount on everything plus free parking. It made a great date night with co-workers!

One of the best jobs ever!!

Even though I worked there and saw all of the behind the scenes, "backstage" stuff, (like the characters walking around in the back carrying their heads under their arms...) I still love it! (This was PRE California Adventure btw - back then it was still a giant paring lot!) Now as a married mom of two young kids we have annual passes and go as a family all the time. There have been months where we have gone at least 4 times a month (every weekend) and sometimes even during week nights after my husband gets home from work. We have also used it as a date night where we ride all of the big rides and walk around like free birds without a stroller and a diaper bag. We love to go by ourselves for our anniversary or a birthday and we'll go have a fancy dinner at the Blue Bayou (the dark, romantic restaurant in the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride).

We do love taking the kids though. You'd be surprised, but there is so much to do there for young kids who are not quite tall enough to go on everything. I have no idea why people wait to go until their child "is old enough/tall enough to ride all of the rides" because a child gets in for FREE until their 3rd birthday.

Have you ever heard the words "FREE ADMISSION" and "Disneyland" in the same sentence?!  

It's not common, that's for sure. Unless of course you live out of state or you are really far away and don't make it here very often. In that case, I understand why you would want to wait to come until everyone in your family can ride everything. But if you live here and you are waiting to go til they can ride Space Mountain, I strongly urge you to reconsider. Right now (2013) a 1-Day park ticket for a kid 3-9 is $86.00!!!  A 2 yr old and a 3 yr old can ride pretty much the same stuff.  They can have a million dollars worth of fun at Disneyland as a 0-3 year old. Plus there are many, many rides they can go on too and if you have a meal at any of the buffets like Goofy's Kitchen, Minnie & Friends Breakfast In The Park, etc. (and they are under 3 years old) they eat FOR FREE!!!  I repeat, they eat for free. Google it. It's true.

Someday I will blog more about Disneyland and share all of our "insider tips" for going to the park with small kids but for now just trust me. Take the baby. Take the toddler. Take the preschooler. They will LOVE it! Besides, if you want them to really be into getting pictures with all of the characters, keep in mind that kids are way more savvy at a way younger age these days. An older kid who can ride all of the big rides might not be as smitten with Mickey & Minnie like a little one will. Those pictures and moments of them truly believing they are real are just priceless and to die for!  You can't recreate that kind of childhood magic when they are older and wiser and don't want to wait in line for 15-20 minutes just to get a picture with a character because it's cutting into their Radiator Springs Racers time, hello?! *Tapping watch* (That ride is a Must Do btw.)

Since we've been pretty much during every single month of the year in all types of seasons and weather and festivities and crowds, one of our very favorite times to go to Disneyland is when they are all decked out for Christmas (yes it's very busy and yes it's still totally worth it.) There is something very magical about it. We can't wait to go this year and take our traditional picture with Santa Claus, pet his real reindeer, take a picture with Mickey Mouse dressed up as Santa, see the icicle lights on the castle and watch the snow fall on Main Street.

Magical!! 

It's not too early...right?  Christmas is exactly 4 short months away from today! Heck, some of the stores are already itching to get rid of the pencils, lunch boxes, back packs and crayons they put out the day after the 4th of July and put out the holiday stuff up. Costco already has Halloween costumes!  (Boo.)  Besides, school started for us in the middle of August this year so my head has already completely switched over to Fall. After Fall comes pumpkin spice lattes, planning the Thanksgiving dinner menu and going to Disneyland for Christmas!

Oh and in case you didn't read it above: This photo is the property of My Tales From The Crib and @Coco_Cana. It was taken by Colleen Duncan Canavan at Disneyland during the 2012 Christmas season. We just so happened to walk by the castle when it was all lit up and they had blocked it off for something (fireworks maybe?) and I captured this in about 2 seconds as we were walking by. Mind you there are a GAZILLION people behind me, next to me, annoyed with me for stopping yet waiting to take my very spot to capture their own castle shot with out anyone in it. My husband is not one to stop in the dead center of a very busy, moving crowed and swim upstream like a salmon to capture the perfect picture...but I am. And I'm glad I did.  I love this pic. We blew it up for our daughter's room. Even though it's not a professional shot and it's pretty dark, it's priceless to us. 

Like I said, "Disney Freaks!"  ;-)

Why I'm Deleting Facebook The Day My Child Starts Kindergarten

Once upon a time there was a site called Friendster. Friendster was unique being the first social networking site. We thought we had struck gold. It was pretty cool because you could see all of your friends in one spot - online!  All hours of the day! Without having to send an email!

Soon Friendster had some friendly competition when along came Myspace. Everyone flocked to Myspace like he was the first guy in 10th grade who had his license and a car! It was hip. It was cool. All of your friends were there, all of their friends were there, you could post pictures, meet all sorts of new people from your friend's friends, you could discover cool music. It was like a college frat party on the internet.

Myspace got kinda big for it's britches and thought it was untouchable. Then I got a message on Myspace from a friend of mine who said, "You should try this new site called Facebook. You have to use your real name so it's not all overcrowded with a bunch of posers using fake names and made up profiles. It's just like hanging out in real life and it's so much better than Myspace!" 

The End.

It was 2004. I wasn't married. I had not even met my husband yet. I was living in Los Angeles waiting tables at a snobby French restaurant pursuing acting and writing and I had all the time in the world to be on a social networking site.

Fast forward to 2013. I've moved 7 times since 2004. I became a very busy Pilates Instructor at a fancy studio in WeHo (West Hollywood). I got engaged. I got married. We moved across the Pacific Ocean to Kauai one month after our wedding. We bought a house (my first house and our first house together.) We celebrated our one year anniversary on Maui. We got pregnant. We had a baby. The economy crashed and millions of people across the country were out of work and loosing their houses. We lost the house - our first house. All three of us moved back across the Pacific Ocean to become mainlanders once again. We started over from scratch. We saved every penny and ate 99 cent mac and cheese. We bought a brand new car that was safe for our growing family (a minivan). We had another baby (this baby was born in a warm pool of water in our house caught by me.) My husband got his dream job. We moved again (lucky #7) this time we were looking for things like parks near the house and a good school district with an elementary school that was walking distance from our house even though it seemed like years and years away that we'd be starting school...and now our first born is starting kindergarten in two days!

I've been on FB (off and on) for 8 years. EIGHT YEARS!  It's hard to believe that I have lived this entire adult (family) life yet before it all even started I was on Facebook. I feel like I've been a mom forever and that I have been married forever...but it's still not as long as I have been on Facebook. That is mind boggling to me that this social networking site has been in my life longer than my husband or my children. This actually does not sit easy with me. I have had a love/hate relationship with facebook for many years, yet I'm still here. Why is that?

I left in 2009 and wrote this which basically started this mom's blog.

This was when I really realized that Facebook doesn't care about it's users at all because it was making changes that was limiting your privacy more and more...yet I stayed there...

I wrote a post here 2 years after I left the first time talking about how negative I feel Facebook has become.

I've gone Screen Free a few different times just to take a break from the time suck that is Facebook and to make more of an effort to get back to what is important.

I even wrote this a few days ago which I consider to be my rock bottom in my Facebook addiction.

This is a lot of time and energy spent on this thing called social networking. It's become a person in my life who can be just as demanding as a toddler. Back in the day when it first started there wasn't a real time ticker tape of what people were doing constantly. Remember when we were all protesting that?  Smart phones were not invented yet (IKR?) so if you wanted to post a pic or check in on what your friends were doing you had to be sitting at your computer. (This was pre laptop for me, so I was actually at my computer desk that was plugged into the wall.)   This is like ancient Egyptian messages scribbled in a cave compared to what we have now.

And now it's too much. Too many alerts, too many notifications, too many ads. Remember when there weren't any ads? I feel as if Facebook has caused me to have ADD. Life is forced to evolve with technology and technology is moving faster than it takes to make a handcrafted caramel cappuccino these days. The more technology we accumulate that pulls us away from real life the less we are living life in the moment. The less we are stopping to smell the roses. The less we are making real connections with real people in the flesh.

I'm not going to go on and on about how negative I think Facebook has become or that it has taken over my life in certain ways because I am now thinking about things on Facebook while I'm doing mundane tasks like washing dishes and folding laundry, taking a shower, sitting in traffic. Those used to be the times where I'd dream up new characters of a story I wanted to write, or what music would go with what scene in a screenplay I was writing or even thinking about my To Do list, shopping list or Bucket List. I'd come up with the perfect one liner or a funny scenario I wanted to remember so I'd scramble for my notebook before the thought left my brain. Time spent dreaming the day away is hard to find when you are a stay at home mom to two little ones. Now I'm spending those free precious daydreaming moments mulling over a negative post, comment or something someone said on a parenting page or mom's message board. Or I'm thinking about how guilty I feel for not doing the new parenting "thing," technique, philosophy, or Pinteresty craft/recipe, that everybody else on Facebook is doing posting about.

That brings me to another point (that I won't be going over in this blog post) about why I'm leaving Facebook. This was one of the things we brought up last night in my yoga class when I talked about deleting my Facebook account the day my daughter was going to start kindergarten. We were all in agreement about how a lot of people present themselves and their kids on Facebook in only a positive light in order to avoid judgment. Facebook posts do not equate to real life happenings. Facebook posts are the clean house before company comes over, the clean house before the housekeeper comes over, and the staged area you prep free of dirty dishes, dirty laundry and a cluttered floor before you take a picture of the kids that you are planning to post to Facebook. Facebook posts are the couches and coffee tables in the front room that is there only for when company comes over. You don't actually get to sit on them. They are the fancy ones we save for good. Facebook posts are the clothes you wear to church, the party dress with the frilly socks you can't play in and the shinny black shoes you wear for weddings or family pictures. They are the pumped up resume you write for a new job and the exaggerated essay you write to get into your dream school. Facebook posts are the holiday letters we send to all of our friends and family to inform them about how amazing our lives are, all of the wonderful vacations we took during the year, all of our children's school and sports victories, the milestones our babies are hitting way ahead of schedule of course, and the promotions we're getting at work. Except the difference with holiday cards is, we expect to only hear the good things from everyone because it's once a year, it's Christmas and it's cheery. But Facebook posts occur daily, even several times a day from tens to hundreds of our friends and pages we've liked all hours of the day.

So several times a day we are reminded about what we are not doing. We are reminded about what our kids are not doing, what our husbands are not doing, the crafty homemade birthday party we did not throw for our child, the amazing gourmet dinner we didn't make for Thanksgiving using only organic foods grown in our garden - basically what our lives don't look like in comparison to the rest of the hundreds of thousands of posts and comments we are reading at any given moment.

Just like the media is making young girls think they are fat and that young boys need to be super macho and excel at every sport or else they have no value in society or how there is an entire generation of pre-teens/teenagers and young adults who think that "being famous" is an adult aspiration and getting your own reality show is somehow a job - Facebook is making us feel like we are not enough and not doing enough in our career, in our lives and in our children's lives. It's not based in reality at all.

Before it sounds like I'm getting all high and mighty I want to say that just like the rest of the world, I'm guilty of this too. I don't post pictures of my messy house, or about how I was just yelling at my child to finish her homework. (The homework that was assigned to be turned in on the first day of school - to be completed during summer vacation. Did I mention she is 5 and is going into kindergarten???!!!) Are we expecting too much too young from our small children? Another post for another time. 

I'm not saying that every post is like this from every person every day. I have a good friend, Leah who is always posting something interesting like bands playing, local street festivals happening, new restaurants opening. And she actually goes to these things!  My cousin Kelly is always posting cute funny, light hearted things she is doing and seeing throughout the day and considering she is a big kid at heart it always gives me a laugh. And many other positive things and positive people are happening on my page so I'm certainly not saying that all things give off negative energy all the time. Not all posts create anxiety like you're not measuring up, but many of them do. Even the happy, positive ones. And we have to ask ourselves, how healthy is Facebook on our psyche?  I'm sure I'm not the only one mulling over facebook posts while I'm cooking dinner, or feeling defensive from a comment someone wrote in response to a parenting or birthing choice I made for my family that differs from the norm on a mom's message board, or checking my notifications before my eyes even totally open in the morning because I can do it from my smart phone.

But like I said at the beginning of this post, I'm not going to talk about all that.  (wink)

So, I've decided to take a journey along with my daughter starting the day she starts kindergarten. It will be a day of new beginnings, new transitions, new routines, new people coming into our lives. It seems like the perfect time to say goodbye to old ways, old habits, old insecurities, old time sucking addictions. It's time to shed the negativity and welcome new changes.

Eight years is long enough to have a love/hate relationship with someone or something. Eight years is long enough to have a frenemy. Eight years is long enough to feel obligated to certain aspects of my Facebook life including my friends list. That is a lot of wasted time. I don't even want to try to add up what that looks like in hours. In eight years I could've become fluent in a couple of languages, written the great American novel or two, learned how to play the guitar and the piano, written a movie, made little movies from all of our videos and pictures for the kids to watch, written more children's books, heck I could've gotten a PhD! (All things on my Bucket List by the way...except for getting a PhD, and all things can be completed during the hours one is usually on Facebook.)

Editors Note: In 8 years I could've learned basic math since it's actually been 9 years. 

It's time to start a new chapter of my life, of our lives. One without the constant pull of social media tugging at my brain while I'm trying to clean the house or do some freelance writing or while I'm playing with my kids, trying to get out of the house or trying to do anything that is not checking Facebook. It's time to explore what life would be like at a slower pace - like my life as a child.

Another reason why I'm deleting my Facebook account the day my daughter starts kindergarten besides wanting to be more present and in the moment with my life, is that everyone I know with older kids tells me how fast it all goes. In the blink of an eye your child is born after what feels like a million years pregnant, then all of a sudden it's their first birthday. After that they are off to preschool, you blink again and you are registering for kindergarten. Next time you blink they are off to middle school. You turn your head for a second and they have taken the car keys. Next thing you know you are applying for colleges and sending out graduation announcements and then bang!  Off to college or off to bootcamp or off to start a new career, get married, start a family and then you are in a store buying baby onesies for your first grandchild.

The days are long but the years are short. 

Life is short and when you have children you get to see first hand just how fast it really goes. Better get on it!  Better make it count. Better not waste the minutes that turn into hours and days and years.

Like Red* says, "Get busy living or get busy dying."

I'm excited!  I'm not stressed out like I was for Screen Free Week because I'm approaching this in a different way. I'm not "going on a diet," I'm making healthier food choices that will affect my life in a positive way. I will still be blogging here as much as I can and sending them out into the universe via twitter if you'd like to follow me there. I'm also assuming that I'll be back on Facebook at some point along this journey. However, there is a part of me that is pulling for the scenario that I don't come back, that I will no longer need it, that I get my fill by reconnecting with my friends and loved ones using old school methods and no longer feel the need to see what acquaintances are up to every second of the day. I ask myself this question a lot: "if you have no desire to get together with someone for coffee or a movie or just to chat on the phone with them because they live too far for a visit then why are you using your precious free time to comb through their pictures, and read and respond to things they post?"

I still don't really have an answer to this. I think this is becoming the norm of our society though. Wouldn't you say that? I don't know.

I look forward to the new changes I'll be seeing in my life and I invite you to find the changes you feel you need to make to better your life or the lives you are responsible for as well.

I welcome the positive energy with open arms!

Continue spreading love. Our world needs more love.

Love,
Coco

Poipu Beach, Kauai - 2008
This is where our parenting journey began.
I was already 5 days overdue and now our lil girl is 5 years old.
Time flies!

*For those who might not know, Red is the character played by Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption. One of the best movies of all time. 

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My Ranty Facebook Post: I'm Taking A Sabbatical!

Here's one from the archives...

So those of you who know me know that I'm kinda crazy. For those of you who don't...well here ya go! A fresh batch full 'o crazy!: 

This year for my birthday (it was yesterday) I have decided to give myself a very nice, very generous, very much needed, long overdue gift. Mostly because I forgot how old I was until my mom posted it yesterday (I'm 37. I mean seriously, how could I ever forget such an awesome age? IKR?! OMG! LOL!) and secondly my brain is about to explode due to overstimulation of mostly negative with a lil positive thrown in of mixed media, pop ups and ticker tapes moving a million miles a second and it needs to check out and do some creative stuff for a while.
I'm taking a sabbatical. It's not a "real" sabbatical of course since I'll still be working "my full-time, on call 24/7 job", but I'm taking a break from all of the other stuff - the mind numbing, superfluous brain waste of activities that have been keeping me from writing all of these future books that are swirling around in my brain like a clogged up public toilet causing me to loose countless wasted hours of middle of the night sleep where writing is worthless and mornings become zombiefull because I can't find the time to write them down and get them out of there....

*breath*

Sooooooo, aaaaaaanyhoo, I'll be updating my writing blog http://mytalesfromthecrib.blogspot.com/ with parenting stuff and not-so parenting stuff for those who are terrified of "parenting stuff" and I'll be posting those beloved blog posts to twitter since I can do it via the blog (without ever leaving which is nice) if you want to follow either of those. Twitter is https://twitter.com/coco_cana

My mom's blog will continue on as it is. Nuggets of pure, grade A, 100% grass-fed, organic, cage free wisdom from the trenches of glorious motherhood. And yes, expect to find more run-on sentences like this beauty here. For those of you who know me in real life or if you follow my blog, this should come as no reeeeeeal shock since you are probably aware of my long standing love/hate relationship with all things facebook and social media in general despite the fact that yes -

I have a FB profile, a FB "page" for my mom's blog, I started a FB group called Organic Mama, and belong to many more and I have a twitter and a blog. *UPDATE at bottom* 


Four blogs to be exact.

(No, you know what? I'll leave my blogs out of this actually.)

To wrap it all up and bring it on home: no I'm not drunk right now, yes I do take full responsibility of this post, it's the day after my birthday party so I'll cry if I want to, and yes I am aware - totally aware - like living in the moment, co-sleeping toddler kicking you in the face at 3am aware that I will probably, most likely, almost certainly, preeeeeetty definitely "be back someday."

(Like the mob, right?) However, that date is TBD.

The last time I took a sabbatical to write - an actual sabbatical where I took "real" time off and was only responsible for myself (Imagine that?) I was 27 years old and was living in Los Angeles and I was writing like crazy because I wanted to be a WRITERRRRRRRRRRRRR. Hello? 10 yrs is long enough.

So after much, much, much thought during countless hours of laundry folding, diaper changing and dish washing and careful, deliberate reflection that each year on my birthday always brings me, (especially this most awesomest of birthdays turning the super cool age of 37), I'm happy to say,

"Facebook, with all due respect, you can totally go fuck yourself. You are Myspace to me right now."


Goodnight, Good luck, Peace, Love & Aloha.

The End.

*UPDATE: I no longer have a Facebook page. I deleted that cray cray mo fo as written about here in: 
Why I'm Deleting Facebook The Day My Daughter Starts Kindergarten.

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First Week Of Summer Vacation Screen Free Challenge!

It should really say June 15, 2013 to June 22, 2013 since today is almost over!  LOL!  

It's that time again. The kids are way too fussy and have been constantly bickering with each other and the TV has been on too much...I feel like they are linked together.

So since today was officially the last day of Pre-K and my daughter is officially off on her way to kindergarten I have decided to officially start a new summertime tradition!

In order to get summer break off on the right foot I hereby proclaim that the first week of summer vacation shall forever remain SCREEN FREE forever and ever and ever - or until they are old enough to pay their own bills.

OK, now that the official business is out of the way-

If you'd like to join me then here's the deal, this goes for parents too - not just kids and teens.

Summer vacation is the season of FREEDOM!
The season of EXPLORATION!
The season to FIND YOURSELF!
The season of ADVENTURE!
The season of LOVE!

So why not free yourself from the shackles of email, facebook, twitter, and all manner of smart phone notifications and kick off the summer with some one-on-one time with yourself and your family loving you some nature?

I hope to read about some awesome adventures after this week is over!  Even if it's trips to the park to play the day away followed by some yummy FroYo! Please send them to me and I'll feature them with your adventurous pics of you enjoying life to the fullest on our blog!!

Have fun!

Aloha, Peace, Love & Light~

Coco Cana

My Spirited Crystal Wonder Girl - Part:1

I am the mother of a Spirited Child. She was brought here to take me on a journey to find myself, to better myself and to change who I am. I am exhausted. I feel like a failure most of the time because what works today will most likely not work tomorrow. I feel like I'm lost in the woods without any markers to get me home. I feel like a horse that is refusing to be broken...but knows I should be because then life will be a lot easier. You see, I too am a Spirited Child, so I'm stubborn. I too am strong willed, demanding, persistent, have big dreams and am far too observant for my liking... I too seek to change the world and demand greatness from others, especially when they are not living their true passions. I am the mother of a Spirited Child and these are my observations.

Part 1: A Rough Draft.

Her energy is unmatched and refuses to be harnessed. Her laugh can be heard miles away, her cries break the sound barrier, and the term, "Daredevil" doesn't even begin to describe it.

All things nature course through her veins and she is truly at peace when digging in the mud, building castles of sand, inspecting insects hiding in the grass, studying animals in the wild or holding a red wiggler from her worm compost bin.

She talks to animals...I mean she actually communicates with them. They trust her, they flock to her and they are comforted by her.  Butterflies have landed on her shoulder. Cats run to her from out of nowhere and fall at her feet. Lizards and grasshoppers have walked out of the bushes across the concrete into her open palm - on more than one occasion. Lady bugs crawl the length of her body until the wind finally carries them away several minutes later. A dragonfly landed on her arm and stayed there long enough for her to show it off to her nature school classmates. Bees like to be near her as she whispers songs to them and asks if she can pick their lavender - and I have never seen so many hummingbirds in my life like I have seen in her presence.

The rain calls to her and she must run through it and catch it in buckets and marvel at the waterfall gushing off of her umbrella as she is standing under a rain gutter.

She appears to be almost reborn in very windy weather and she loves to embrace it face on, laughing wildly, eyes twinkling, arms outstretched as if she were hugging the universe.

If she could dine alfresco under our Paris patio lights every single day of the year she'd be a happy girl.

She cares deeply for her baby brother and is so in-tune with him she could tell me what he was thinking and successfully predicted what he was going to do as a baby from the day he was born.  She also knew he was going to be a boy way before he was born and never once wavered on her "guess."  She was two years old when she made her accurate prediction.  She gave him his nick name when he was one week old and over two years later she still calls him, Bay (short for Baby.)

Although she is her mother's daughter, I am clearly no match for the extreme changes in mood and full throttle pace she insists on living her daily life. There are times where I feel as if I'm dealing with a seasoned hostage negotiator, or a powerful lawyer arguing a high profile case. And don't let her age fool you, she's been able to McGuyver her way out of any sticky situation since she could walk. Many times I have become tangled in the intricate booby-trap of string, ribbon and dangling toys tied to the door handles, light fixtures and bedposts in her room.  We're still trying to figure out who taught her how to tie double knots.

The words, "You can't" are an invitation to prove you wrong.
The word, "No" is merely a stepping stone to the word, "yes."
The words, "Not now" are just road blocks that she crashes through on her way to, "how about now?"
The words, "You CAN do it" will be met with, "But I caaaaaan't"as she flings her body onto the floor to claim her position...unless it was her idea.

She is the princess in the top of the tower because she scaled it's walls and climbed up there herself. However, there is no need to rescue her because she'll either repel down in her make-shift harness or she'll fly down with wings she's fashioned from an old sheet, a hair clip and a belt.

She is the knight and the dragon fighting to the death in the same battle.

She is the life of the party, the party promoter, the party crasher, the party pooper and the cops busting it up - all in the same night.

She is my little Jane Goodall fully immersed in the animal kingdom.

She is my joy, she is my tears, she is my frustration, she is my reflection, she is my laughter, she is my anger, she is my hope, she is my treasure, she is my exhaustion, she is my pride beaming from my chest and the burning lump in my throat as I choke back tears of happiness when I watch her accomplishments and she is the one who will keep me on my toes for the rest of my days.

She is the baby girl who was determined to survive and thrive during a very bad illness I contracted when I was 7 weeks pregnant with her that had us very worried. She is the baby girl who bruised my ribs from the inside from kicking me so hard for weeks on end when I was pregnant with her. She was the baby girl who demanded a grand entrance at birth and came when she was darn good and ready - 5 days late. She is the baby girl who reached up and touched my face within seconds of being born and held it there for the longest time while we both cried looking into each others eyes.

She is my wild horse running free through the morning mist along the sand.
She is the unyielding waves crashing against the rocky shore taking pieces of it with them.
She is my colorful bird soaring high above the earth and then diving straight down into the ocean without a splash.
She is my sea otter pup surfing the waves without any fear.
She is my puppy dog running down the street who broke free from the gate, tongue wagging in the wind, looking back with laughter in her eyes because she knows she'll never be caught and has no plans to return on "The Man's" schedule.

She is the quiet drifting of the clouds in the sky and the thunder rolling in for an unexpected storm all in the same afternoon.

My darling daughter,
Your smile has the wattage of 1000 suns
You have the power of the ocean pumping through your body the entire time you are awake.
The dreams you speak of sound like magical fairy lands with winged unicorns soaring through purple skies and dragons and butterflies all talking to you - the stuff found only in the movies.

You are my dream and my reality. My bright sun and my full moon. My gray skies and my pouring rain, my mud puddles and my rainbow. The sand beneath my feet and the cool waves trickling past my toes. You are my tiger and my lamb. You are the laughter in my ear as you move the hair away from my eyes and the tiny lego I step on at 2am while walking to the bathroom in the dark.

You are my sweet, fiery girl and I love you with every single fiber of my being. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother and for teaching me patience and understanding and how to look at the world through different eyes.


Love,
Mommy

"The best thing you've ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously. 

It's only life after all."

-Indigo Girls

The Battle of Nigh-Nigh: Getting Our Spirited Child To Sleep.

When you were born and we finally got you to go down after many dances with daddy listening to soft music, you slept like a baby - you woke every two hours all throughout the night to nurse.  In between those hours you snuggled sweetly between daddy and I, swaddled in your baby blanket, or sometimes in your bassinet that was pushed right up against my body, not moving a muscle, your eyes closed tightly off in a baby wonderland.

As a one year old we were living in the land of the "Sleepy Drive."  This drive was our night time routine and it was carried out faithfully for God only knows how long. It actually started before you were a year old because we'd make the drive down to Poipu Beach when we were living on Kauai. But daddy and I actually enjoyed many of those quiet starlit evenings driving around in the dark through fields of tall cane grass until you drifted off to sleep. Once in bed however,  you woke every 45 minutes all throughout the night to nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse. I don't think you actually ever "slept."  Or I should say I never slept. During the minutes where you'd finally break your latch, roll over and drift off to a light slumber - my "exhale moment", you thrashed your tiny body around the bed between daddy and I like crashing waves on the rocks. Your arms and legs kicking wildly as if you were swimming to shore through the raging water. It was a good night if we only got kicked in the eye or punched in the jugular a few times. You might have been "sleeping" but your body never stopped moving. Never. As a baby daddy would say you are "full throttle til you run out of gas." Truer words were never spoken.

As a two year old (who had even more energy if you can imagine that) you had a very, very, very long nigh-nigh routine that lasted hours. "No way!"  "Yes way!"  It consisted of a pre-tub sprint around the circle of our house, a long leisurely bubble tub that would make a Greek Goddess jealous, several books, as well as a verbal story, followed by a made up song, a slow dance and then a rock in the chair til you finally drifted off. I'm exhausted just writing it. Daddy and I took shifts in the beginning. This is how it all went down. After a very long dinner we come to Part One: The Running Of The Babies. It was just as hectic as The Running Of The Bulls in Spain. Something I'm sure you'll partake in someday. We called this the "Naked Baby Chase" and you wore us both out after several laps. The house we were living in at the time had a complete circle through the house. It connected the kitchen to the hall, a bedroom, another hall near the bathroom, through the living room and dining room and back to the kitchen. This was your track and you were training for a marathon. Like any top athlete, you took your training very seriously. You just kept running and running and running and running at full speed ahead, laughing like a hyena, eyes flashing with electricity every time you passed us on the side lines cheering you on trying to pinch your booty. You were a tiny, battery charged Forrest Gump. Then there was the tub portion of the evening - when we finally got you in there that is. This lasted a good 45 minutes to an hour and a half. The water was cold after several attempts to drain some of the cold and add more hot, swish it around to warm it up - repeat. Tub time ended when there was no more hot water to be had in the entire house. It did not end happily, let me tell you, even after an hour and a half. Then we come to the routine of drying you off. The made-up song I had to sing to dry your hair because you HATED for me to dry your hair and the song helped somewhat. I had to use a towel because you HATED the sound of a blow dryer. Even in a public restroom. I didn't blame you though. It's very loud. I can only imagine how loud it must sound to very sensitive two year old ears. Then the picking of the jammies. They had to be the right ones. Not too scratchy, no tags in our way, nothing itchy, not too hot, not too cold. Sometimes there would be several changes until we got it just right and even then more times than not we'd end up sleeping in only our diaper all night long anyway. As any parent with a Spirited Child will agree, any break in the routine or any attempts to speed it up only ended in heartbreak - for daddy and I. I'd like to remind you that mommy was pregnant with Baby #2 and tired. Oh-so-very-tired during this two year old stretch of wild animal life. We haven't really even gotten to the meat of our night time routine yet and it's been close to 2 hours. Add on the evenings festivities of books and entertainment provided by the "parent du jour" and we've got another hour plus. Now it's time for lights out. She knew it was coming, we knew it was coming and every one of us knew it wasn't going to be pretty and it wasn't going down without a fight. Kisses and loves, lights off and out the door closing it behind me only to find my darling cherub turning the doorknob ever so slowly to poke her smiling face out of the door about 22 seconds later. Anticipating her arrival I stood in the hallway (faithfully doing my deep prenatal yoga squats and various Bradley Method exercises) until she came to the door. I'd then usher her back in there along with some tears, more kisses and I love you's and sweet dreams wishes, shampoo-rinse-repeat for a good 45 minutes or so and sometimes yes sometimes it even ended with a sleepy drive - even after all that! Those were on the nights where our patience was non-existent and that was our last resort. Our gas budget had required us to use this as a last resort after a few years of nightly 20+ minute drives in very large circles at night. However, after all those hours spent squatting in the hallway I was extremely fit and limber and ready for Baby #2 to come along since I had so much time to prep my joints and muscles every night for most of my pregnancy. Once Baby #2 came along though, daddy was permanently up at bat in the nightly game of nigh-nigh so it took on a new form. One that he molded into what worked for them. Daddy recalls standing outside your door as well counting the seconds to see how long it would take til you popped out and needed to be ushered back in. "One hundred and one, one hundred and two..." He said if he was able to get to 200 then you were most likely asleep. Sometimes he'd only get to "one hundred and seven" before you poked your sweet lil face through the crack of the door. Prior to the hallway counting there was a lot of holding and swaying to one of daddy's famous made up songs. Something a very pregnant mama could no longer do. Even in a rocking chair. It just wasn't comfortable anymore which is very bittersweet to be honest. The end of an era spent with just me and Baby Girl rocking for hours and hours in that pink rocking chair.

As a three year old it was much of the same as when you were two except for adding Baby #2 in the mix of dinner time, bathtub time, jammies time, book reading time on top of you - the three year old trying to get more mileage out of the whole nigh-nigh routine. How can you possibly add more time to that you ask?  It's possible. We fondly referred to you as the "Dilly Dally Queen" on occasion. However, at three "we" were way more vocal, way more savvy and knew exactly how to work the system. We'd pick at our meal during dinner time only to try to finagle eating a full "4th meal" after bath time. Because we didn't want her to go to bed hungry we'd let her eat a snack. She snacked all day so she wouldn't actually be hungry but in the off chance she was hungry in the middle of the night it only caused US pain in the long run if we didn't let her snack on 4th meal. And before you think what you might be thinking, there was never any circumstances of "she'll learn her lesson if she - this or that..." with this child. This is not how she's hard wired. This is not how she operates and us "teaching her a lesson" out of hostility and our lack of patience is not how we try to parent. We're not perfect, we get worn out and at times just want results like any other parent but we shoot for patience the majority of the time. And believe me our patience was running thin. But our time spent helping our Spirited Child grow in the world as a toddler was not about us "winning the battle" and her "losing the battle" and us "breaking her down" in order to make her bend at our will. I believe she was brought to us to teach us patience and it's a lesson we're still learning and it's been a long bumpy road, but we're getting there.  A few times a week you'd creep out into the living room and we'd have to usher you back a few times. You'd want a little something as a snack. You became very fond of a glass of warm milk which I was more than happy to oblige since it meant you'd most likely stay in your room. And most of those times you just really wanted some extra snuggles from daddy. I don't blame you. Daddy is a good snuggler. Mama was chopped liver from most of 2 to the end of 3-ish. I can understand. Baby Brother was nursing and Big Sissy had already weaned and wasn't the least bit interested in nursing anyway aside from right after baby was born to see what all of the fuss was about. Your thoughts: not interested. Special attention from Daddy: Bring it!

As a four year old we got to the point of you knowing exactly what your night time routine looked like because we basically did the same thing night after night after looooooooong night since you were a wee lass. You were sharp as a whip so we'd talk you through the evening. "In 5 more minutes we're going to do this -" and we got to the point of shaving off some serious time on our nigh-nigh routine. Because if you remember, Baby Brother was now in the mix as an 18+ month old dragging out his very own nigh-nigh routine.  "Please pick your jammies and get dressed." "You pick some books and look through them while I get Baby Brother's jammies on", etc. We were very independent and liked the authority over our own agenda.  As pre-written as it may have been. She still took the reins on a lot of it from picking her jammies to picking her books to picking her clothes for preschool the next day. Spirited Children thrive on control. This was control I was more than happy to let go of.

At four something magical happened...

Something that almost brings tears to my eyes just typing all of this up. We'd do our extremely trimmed down version of "night-night" ("only babies say nigh-nigh"), we'd prep you that it was "last book," we'd kiss all of your animal lovies, sing a made-up song by request, we'd turn off your light, close your door and before we'd make it to the living room you were pretty much asleep!  No walking out into the living room 10 minutes later needing - something, no Sleepy Drive, no requests for 4th meal. You were just....asleep. Sometimes you'd sleep til morning, sometimes you'd have a bad dream and call out for one of us. Sometimes we'd find you snuggled in our bed at 3am or 5am. But 4 years old was when we no longer dreaded the infamous Battle of Nigh-Nigh.  We all won the battle - together. The only time we need a sleepy drive is when our evening has been thrown out of whack and we are at the point of no return. Like with having dinner guests, over night guests, a long day at Disneyland (the drive home is the sleepy drive thank the sweet lord!), birthday cake, Christmas Eve - you name it. But it doesn't take too many streets and you're out like a light. Baby Brother is another situation when it comes to sleepy drives. It tends to work the opposite with him!

Tonight you are 5. At 5 we are seeing a very worn out lil Miss who plays hard all day long at preschool, who's no longer napping (haven't seen regular naps since 3 1/2 anyway) and at 5 we are seeing the earliest bedtimes we've ever seen in your lifetime. The bedtimes everyone as well as every parenting book always told us you should have and no matter what we ever tried to do we never, ever, ever accomplished it. "Just give her a short nap."  Nope. "Just wake her early in the morning."  Uh-uh. "Just wake her early from her afternoon nap."  Umm...do you poke a sleeping bear just before spring?  I don't either. "Just cut her naps completely and keep her up all day long." Major back fire explosion.  The word "just" that began everyone's sentences of helping us fix our sleepy time issues implied it was an extremely easy fix. I'm assuming none of those people had a Spirited Child. There is no "just do" anything with a Spirited Child. There just isn't. Tonight we took an early tub, had a pretty early dinner and you powered through your meal and told us you were full. Jammies were already on and we decided to snuggle with daddy on the couch. You, 2 year old Baby Brother and daddy. You all started to drift off to sleepy land (Daddy's favorite thing to do at about 6:30pm - heehee!) and suddenly you got up and ran down the hallway.  We both assumed you were going to the bathroom and you'd be back for more snuggles or demand to break up the slug fest and get down to business of reading a bunch of books. A few minutes went by and no return. Baby Brother had drifted off to sleep in what was to be the easiest, most effortless nigh-nigh we've had in a very long time. I decided to go check on you and I found you in your bed, covers tucked up all around you (something you used to fight with me about that you'd never be able to do yourself), your lovie firmly in place "full body hug style," your night light on as well as SeaSea: your glowlight/soothing musical seahorse lovie - a throw back from your infant days illuminating your angelic face peacefully asleep. Not a word was spoken to complete this mission. It was carried out 100% by you - our five year old!

I'd like a moment of silence to let the full weight of this monumental moment sink in fully. 


Exhale.... 

Hello 5. We've been waiting for you. It's so wonderful to see you. However, if we're being honest, your friends ages 4, 3, 2, 1 and newbie are missed. Even the hardest of times, they are missed. For we can't fully appreciate where we are today without you and your grueling all-night moments.  But for now I'm happy missing those times as opposed to still living them. We did it together, kid. You, me and daddy - we did it together.

Love you forever and ever and always,
Mommy

Now go to bed.  ;-)

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Days 4, 5, 6, Updates

1 question: Why is Screen Free Week only 6 days long?  Typo?

To Be Continued...

Come back soon for recaps from Screen Free Week. As for now I'm closing the lap top for the next few days and heading outdoors to play and to discover more adventures. This no TV, no iPad, no Facebook, no internet thing is really working for us.

Start here to read about our adventure from the beginning.

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Day 3: Recap - Keep Calm and Carry On.

Day 3: Keep Calm and Carry On.  This is todays mantra.  

Day 3 of hardly any TV/iPad/internet was the first time I've felt some clarity and calmness in a very long time. True calmness felt deep down in my soul that wasn't going to be easily shaken by a toddler wobbler, a random car cutting me off, a mid-day traffic jam or two fighting kids while I'm trying to get dinner on the table. My breath matched my heart beat as I cleaned the kitchen and put away the dishes lost in my own thoughts of writing projects and how to fix our little world. Slow, steady, easy. I throughly enjoyed the sounds of my kids playing together, sharing, chatting with each other, teaching, learning and making big plans of what to do next. 

My thoughts were not preoccupied with something negative I had just read online or with something negative someone wrote on a message board or put as their facebook status. Negative words read somewhere carry over into our daily lives long after they were written or even read. There have been many times I'll be lost in thought doing some mundane mom task like folding tiny kid socks, washing out pots and pans or looking for that darn puzzle piece and my mind is racing with thoughts of negative words and images that are swirling around in my head taking up precious positive energy. 

It's hard to stay positive sometimes as a mom of little ones. Our days do not really belong to us anymore. Our time is not our own and a free minute is few and far between. So when I do have a few minutes where my brain can shut off to wash dishes while hubby is giving the kids a bath, or do some laundry while they are all outside playing, it's frustrating that my mind can sometimes fixate on something negative I read online. Sometimes I'm thinking of what I'm going to say as a response or a defense to a comment I made or a comment someone else made or sometimes I'm just replaying information and images over and over again of some terrible thing that is going on in our world like the recent Boston Bombings and the need for the media as well as everyday people to share every single detail about it regardless of how disturbing the image is or how disrespectful it might be to the victims and loved ones involved. 

I am and have been since the day I was born a sensitive person. This has worked both in my favor as a compassionate human being as well as been an inconvenience during other times in my life. But this is who I am and despite my best efforts to "not let things bother me so much" (something I've heard my whole life that is quite annoying) there is a part of that I can't really control. It's in my DNA. So for me I'm torn because I love how facebook keeps us in constant contact with friends and family but the flip side is also that it keeps us in constant contact with friends and family... and sometimes it's too much like I mentioned in the Day 2 Recap. Especially around voting time or anytime there is a lot of political stuff swirling around - you're going to see heated conversations and rude behavior and comments made that show someone's character way too much and sometimes you wish you really didn't know that much about that person.  And these are the people you know and consider friends and some you even love!  LOL! Don't even get me started on how absolutely rude, judgmental and cut throat some mothers can be towards one another on a mom's message board full of strangers debating hot button issues like: labor/birthing choices, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, letting baby cry it out vs. rocking to sleep/co-sleeping, circumcision vs. keeping the child in tact, home birth vs. hospital birth,  cloth vs. disposable diapers, vax vs. no vax, homeschool vs. traditional school, even organic vs. non-organic food we buy! It's absurd! 

Anyway, I'm going off on a terrible tangent and getting way off track. 

The bottom line:

Since I'm not going on the internet right now to read any of this useless, negative crap, my mind was free to wander about different writing projects I wanted to start, vacations we want to take, friends I want to get together with, things I want to do with the kids, seeds I want to plant in our farm, projects to do on the house, family I want to try to go see, recipes I want to try, and as always various charities I want to start. Someday I'll do them!

It was a calm, beautiful and magical day spent with family completely submerged in nature and then off to a yummy lunch. We went to our morning class at the nature center and sat on a bench and enjoyed the bustling stillness of dragon flies, hummingbirds, butterflies, birds and our own quiet thoughts. For a few minutes anyway. I do have a 2 year old after all. So he was off and running the entire length of the 1/4 mile walking trail and stopped long enough to squish some bugs with his feet. Shhhhhh...don't tell Lil Miss Nature Girl that her Baby Brother was squishing bugs! She'd never forgive him. 

I only got one request all day long to turn the TV on at 3:36pm during our funky, end-of-the-day transition time where mommy needs to make dinner and the kids need to start picking up their toys. But once I reminded her of our "no TV/no iPad challenge" she quickly forgot she even asked me to watch something and was off on another adventure to discover some long lost toy in the toy room. Huge change from the funky, end-of-the-day transition time of Day 1 of Screen-Free Week. 

We ended the day with a quiet dinner for 4 at the dinner table that was completely cleared off as opposed to other times where half of it is littered with crafting stuff and papers to go through/bills to write, etc., that have just been pushed to the side to make room for dinner. Also the dishes and pans from making dinner were already done before dinner and cleaned up and put in the dishwasher making after dinner clean up a snap.

After dinner we went for a walk around our neighborhood meeting new cats, collecting sticks, flower pedals and tiny rocks and we even met a little girl down the street the same age who will be joining us at our new school very soon. Plus she has a baby sister the same age as baby brother! Had we been in the house preoccupied with the TV and games on the iPad we would not have met our new friends. 

Oh and did I mention that the kids really didn't fight today?  

First of all we were out and about for most of the day which always helps and when we were home they played as opposed to fighting over who gets to choose the next show or iPad game. And yes, we play educational games and watch educational shows and Getting Ready For Preschool and Kindergarden type of DVD's too and those have their place for sure. My preschooler was counting by 10's up to 100 the other day and didn't miss one and I have to say I was completely shocked because we haven't really been covering that lately. I asked her if dada had been teaching her that and she said, "No, I learned how to do that by myself from my Getting Ready For kindergarden DVD." It's always awesome when the TV is a positive influence on your child every once in a while. We try to encourage those DVD's most of the time but even I need a break from a heavy documentary every once in a while to watch some mindless reality TV show like The Bachelor or something. I don't expect my kids to be any different. 

But today we didn't have any fights. Score!! We did have one electronic game though. At 2:30pm on our 30 minute car drive home I glanced in the kid mirror and noticed my preschooler starting to drift off for a nap and I was going to try anything within my power to stop it short of pulling over for frozen yogurt!  I grabbed my smart phone and said, "here you go Birdie. Wanna play Rocket Bird?"  "YES!  Woo Hoo!! This is AWESOME!! YEA!!!"  You would've thought by the way she was celebrating that I gave her the keys to Disneyland and told her that we had the park to ourselves and that she could go on all of her favorite rides without waiting in a single line. (How cool would that be btw?!) She was great when we pulled in the driveway and I told her Rocket Bird was done. She let him crash and she said, "Bonk! I crashed" and laughed and gave me the phone back no questions asked. Shocked. 

Another plus today, hubby told me it seemed like I was in a better spot and for the first time in a long time I am. 

Day 3 Screen Free Detox complete without a scratch. Looking forward to tomorrow's adventure!

Read about our Screen Free Week Journey from the beginning. 

Every step of the journey is the journey.  - Zen saying

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Day 2: "Mommy, What's a Hypocrite?"

DISCLAIMER: This is a potty mouth post. If you read my other stuff you will know that this is not my norm. But I'm detoxing (or trying to anyway) from all things internet/TV/iPad games/Facebook/Twitter...and it's not easy. This post kind of goes off the rails there at the end. 
So there you go.

Day 2. Hmmmm how do I word this so I don't sound like a terrible mother. ?  I can't really think of a clever way so I'll just tell ya how it all went down.


Early Morning on Day 2 of Screen Free Week:

"Kids, mommy is really tired because I didn't get enough sleep last night so I'm feeling pretty fussy and sleepy (Side note: I had the most wicked insomnia last night. It's like I'm pregnant or something.) I'd love to sleep a bit more so I don't have a tantrum. If you please stay in here and snuggle in bed with me you can watch Disney Junior on the iPad for a bit while mommy closes my eyes for a bit longer. Sound good?"  

"Awesome!  We get to watch the iPad???!!!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

Win Win.  

(...but is it really?)

So there's that. On Day 2. Of Screen Free WEEK - meaning a whole 7 days in a row without any screen time....and on Day 2 the kids started the day off with screen time.

*Sigh*

Oh and then there was the time where I played the game of "do as I say, not as I do." Yea, that always goes over well. Kinda like when this happens:

Mommy: "Kids, it's important to eat something healthy for breakfast to start the day off right. Have some scrambled organic kale with melted kale and a side of kale. Drink up your kale kids, it's time to go to school." 

Kids: "Uhhh...Mommy, are you having cold pizza and ice cream in your coffee for breakfast?"

Mommy: "We ran out of eggs and creamer.....??????"

Busted.  

So yes, as you've read I told my kids they can't watch TV or play the iPad because we're taking a break from it for the Screen Free Week Challenge. However, MOMMY was going to blog about our suffering the whole week.  On top of that, I was blogging some paragraphs and notes for future Screen Free Week blog posts while the kids were waiting for me to get off the computer to go outside and do something fun.  Nice.

Total Hypocrite Mom Fail.

So after I made myself a mid-morning cappuccino and cleared the fog from my brain I packed the kids up and we all piled in the car with our sand toys and bathing suits and beach towels and headed to the ocean for some very much needed fresh air.  It was on our drive to the beach that I thought, "What the hell am I doooooing??!!  I'm totally, 100% completely missing the boat here on what Screen Free Week even means.  Blogging everyday for the whole- for what?  For who?!  No one is even online reading this right now because everyone is doing the Screen Free Week Challenge!...right?"

Maybe it was Miss Preschooler calling me out saying, "Mommy, we've been waiting for you!" to bang the final shitty nail into the shitty coffin of my shitty "screen time" guilt that did it. Maybe it was the need for other things to change and detox and get better in my life (like my overall health and well being) to make me realize we REALLY need to do this as a family and we need to do it right. It's not just the kids who need a TV/iPad/Netflix detox. It's mommy who needs a facebook detox. If all I did was blog, that would be great because at least I'd be creating something. But that is not all I'm doing. I'm wasting so much fucking time on facebook it's not even funny. Free time. Precious free time that mom's of little ones have so little of and how do I spend it?  Scrolling through the facebook news feed. Now with a smart phone that has alerts and dings and buzzers and notifications you are constantly updated 24/7 to everyone in your friends list as well as all of the pages you "like" all hours of the day. "So and so just passed gas. Here's a link." As I'm sure you know since all anyone has to do is go to the park and check out the parents sitting on the benches with their heads bent over a cell phone to see that everyone has a smart phone now.

Realization: My house is suffering for it, my health is suffering for it. So basically, (and honestly) my life is suffering for it. It's time for me to look this square in the eye and face the facts about it. The hard cold, punch you across the mouth facts about it and stop trying to stay in denial because that isn't helping anyone. It's hurting in fact. Hurting a lot in many different ways. Mommy's not perfect kids - far from it and I'm sorry that I have let this stupid social networking site become the sun that we all revolve around, however I may try to justify it to myself. It needs to stop. I have to be honest with myself, evaluate this whole thing, weigh the pros and cons of being plugged in 24/7 and really admit some shit to myself, get real and look at what is happening and how it's crumbling. I know it's not just me. I know it's most of the free world that is feeling this way. I think many of us feel the walls closing in around us in some way while we try to hold on to some shred of privacy.

Reality: When you make the minute-by-minute decision to live your daily life online, there is no such thing as privacy.

Reflection: Is it worth it?  Is this totally connected yet very disconnected life we've created for ourselves working in our benefit?  Am I the only one who finds a conversation (in person) a bit awkward when it's with someone who in real life is just an acquaintance but on facebook is the exact same as everyone else on your profile from your spouse, and siblings, blood relatives, college friends, friends from childhood, work friends, former co-workers down to the friend of a friend's friend you just met at a party - these are all considered your "facebook friends" - it can be a bit strained and awkward though, no? I mean, you don't really even know this person, yet you know intimate things about them - and they know intimate things about you too. Most likely you've viewed about 1000 of their photos from the intimate childbirth photos to the drunken Halloween party with the girls in Vegas photos, you know that they just got promoted, you know that their child has been potty training and had an accident in the isle at Target, you know their grandpa just died and their car broke down, their 10th anniversary was last week and their sitter cancelled so they ordered take out. On top of that you know every single detail of their religious and political views whether you want that information or not  - all via facebook status updates and pictures they've willing shared and posted- yet in person we all pretend we never saw it when they mention it in conversation to avoid seeming like a total stalker. Or maybe we were just an insomniac lurker at 2:30am combing through facebook profiles and never actually "liked" or commented on anything so we don't want them to know we already know!  But you know that they know that we know. Everybody knows.

OK, I'll try to pull the nose up on this one.

So I've made some small steps towards change that I'm hoping will turn into a bigger impact over all in my life.

Taking Small Steps To Change: I've disabled all notifications and alerts and dings and buzzers on my smart phone. When I "wake it up" to see the date/time, that is all I see. So it's easy to shut it back off and put it in my pocket. I no longer see that someone updated their profile pic or that someone commented on something or "liked" a new page or whatever else is going on in the world that never sleeps - aka The Internet. In the past seeing 5-8 notifications on my very first screen of my phone could have very easily added a good 10-15+ minutes on to whatever task I was right in the middle of when the dings chimed to alert me to something someone did on facebook.

I love you, but I do not need this much information about you.

I'm looking forward to more small steps in the coming week of Screen Free Week. And who knows, I might just be brave and add a few days on the back end to make up for my stellar performance in Screen Free Week thus far.



Please Share!  Misery Loves Company!!

Are you doing this thing too?  How is it going for you and your family?  Let me know I'm not the only one out there having a hard time but who's still trying to plug away at it. 

Here's to celebrating the baby steps I've made the past 2 days and for trying to change my all-or-nothing way of thinking. 

Hang in there!