Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Days 4, 5, 6, Updates

1 question: Why is Screen Free Week only 6 days long?  Typo?

To Be Continued...

Come back soon for recaps from Screen Free Week. As for now I'm closing the lap top for the next few days and heading outdoors to play and to discover more adventures. This no TV, no iPad, no Facebook, no internet thing is really working for us.

Start here to read about our adventure from the beginning.

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Day 3: Recap - Keep Calm and Carry On.

Day 3: Keep Calm and Carry On.  This is todays mantra.  

Day 3 of hardly any TV/iPad/internet was the first time I've felt some clarity and calmness in a very long time. True calmness felt deep down in my soul that wasn't going to be easily shaken by a toddler wobbler, a random car cutting me off, a mid-day traffic jam or two fighting kids while I'm trying to get dinner on the table. My breath matched my heart beat as I cleaned the kitchen and put away the dishes lost in my own thoughts of writing projects and how to fix our little world. Slow, steady, easy. I throughly enjoyed the sounds of my kids playing together, sharing, chatting with each other, teaching, learning and making big plans of what to do next. 

My thoughts were not preoccupied with something negative I had just read online or with something negative someone wrote on a message board or put as their facebook status. Negative words read somewhere carry over into our daily lives long after they were written or even read. There have been many times I'll be lost in thought doing some mundane mom task like folding tiny kid socks, washing out pots and pans or looking for that darn puzzle piece and my mind is racing with thoughts of negative words and images that are swirling around in my head taking up precious positive energy. 

It's hard to stay positive sometimes as a mom of little ones. Our days do not really belong to us anymore. Our time is not our own and a free minute is few and far between. So when I do have a few minutes where my brain can shut off to wash dishes while hubby is giving the kids a bath, or do some laundry while they are all outside playing, it's frustrating that my mind can sometimes fixate on something negative I read online. Sometimes I'm thinking of what I'm going to say as a response or a defense to a comment I made or a comment someone else made or sometimes I'm just replaying information and images over and over again of some terrible thing that is going on in our world like the recent Boston Bombings and the need for the media as well as everyday people to share every single detail about it regardless of how disturbing the image is or how disrespectful it might be to the victims and loved ones involved. 

I am and have been since the day I was born a sensitive person. This has worked both in my favor as a compassionate human being as well as been an inconvenience during other times in my life. But this is who I am and despite my best efforts to "not let things bother me so much" (something I've heard my whole life that is quite annoying) there is a part of that I can't really control. It's in my DNA. So for me I'm torn because I love how facebook keeps us in constant contact with friends and family but the flip side is also that it keeps us in constant contact with friends and family... and sometimes it's too much like I mentioned in the Day 2 Recap. Especially around voting time or anytime there is a lot of political stuff swirling around - you're going to see heated conversations and rude behavior and comments made that show someone's character way too much and sometimes you wish you really didn't know that much about that person.  And these are the people you know and consider friends and some you even love!  LOL! Don't even get me started on how absolutely rude, judgmental and cut throat some mothers can be towards one another on a mom's message board full of strangers debating hot button issues like: labor/birthing choices, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, letting baby cry it out vs. rocking to sleep/co-sleeping, circumcision vs. keeping the child in tact, home birth vs. hospital birth,  cloth vs. disposable diapers, vax vs. no vax, homeschool vs. traditional school, even organic vs. non-organic food we buy! It's absurd! 

Anyway, I'm going off on a terrible tangent and getting way off track. 

The bottom line:

Since I'm not going on the internet right now to read any of this useless, negative crap, my mind was free to wander about different writing projects I wanted to start, vacations we want to take, friends I want to get together with, things I want to do with the kids, seeds I want to plant in our farm, projects to do on the house, family I want to try to go see, recipes I want to try, and as always various charities I want to start. Someday I'll do them!

It was a calm, beautiful and magical day spent with family completely submerged in nature and then off to a yummy lunch. We went to our morning class at the nature center and sat on a bench and enjoyed the bustling stillness of dragon flies, hummingbirds, butterflies, birds and our own quiet thoughts. For a few minutes anyway. I do have a 2 year old after all. So he was off and running the entire length of the 1/4 mile walking trail and stopped long enough to squish some bugs with his feet. Shhhhhh...don't tell Lil Miss Nature Girl that her Baby Brother was squishing bugs! She'd never forgive him. 

I only got one request all day long to turn the TV on at 3:36pm during our funky, end-of-the-day transition time where mommy needs to make dinner and the kids need to start picking up their toys. But once I reminded her of our "no TV/no iPad challenge" she quickly forgot she even asked me to watch something and was off on another adventure to discover some long lost toy in the toy room. Huge change from the funky, end-of-the-day transition time of Day 1 of Screen-Free Week. 

We ended the day with a quiet dinner for 4 at the dinner table that was completely cleared off as opposed to other times where half of it is littered with crafting stuff and papers to go through/bills to write, etc., that have just been pushed to the side to make room for dinner. Also the dishes and pans from making dinner were already done before dinner and cleaned up and put in the dishwasher making after dinner clean up a snap.

After dinner we went for a walk around our neighborhood meeting new cats, collecting sticks, flower pedals and tiny rocks and we even met a little girl down the street the same age who will be joining us at our new school very soon. Plus she has a baby sister the same age as baby brother! Had we been in the house preoccupied with the TV and games on the iPad we would not have met our new friends. 

Oh and did I mention that the kids really didn't fight today?  

First of all we were out and about for most of the day which always helps and when we were home they played as opposed to fighting over who gets to choose the next show or iPad game. And yes, we play educational games and watch educational shows and Getting Ready For Preschool and Kindergarden type of DVD's too and those have their place for sure. My preschooler was counting by 10's up to 100 the other day and didn't miss one and I have to say I was completely shocked because we haven't really been covering that lately. I asked her if dada had been teaching her that and she said, "No, I learned how to do that by myself from my Getting Ready For kindergarden DVD." It's always awesome when the TV is a positive influence on your child every once in a while. We try to encourage those DVD's most of the time but even I need a break from a heavy documentary every once in a while to watch some mindless reality TV show like The Bachelor or something. I don't expect my kids to be any different. 

But today we didn't have any fights. Score!! We did have one electronic game though. At 2:30pm on our 30 minute car drive home I glanced in the kid mirror and noticed my preschooler starting to drift off for a nap and I was going to try anything within my power to stop it short of pulling over for frozen yogurt!  I grabbed my smart phone and said, "here you go Birdie. Wanna play Rocket Bird?"  "YES!  Woo Hoo!! This is AWESOME!! YEA!!!"  You would've thought by the way she was celebrating that I gave her the keys to Disneyland and told her that we had the park to ourselves and that she could go on all of her favorite rides without waiting in a single line. (How cool would that be btw?!) She was great when we pulled in the driveway and I told her Rocket Bird was done. She let him crash and she said, "Bonk! I crashed" and laughed and gave me the phone back no questions asked. Shocked. 

Another plus today, hubby told me it seemed like I was in a better spot and for the first time in a long time I am. 

Day 3 Screen Free Detox complete without a scratch. Looking forward to tomorrow's adventure!

Read about our Screen Free Week Journey from the beginning. 

Every step of the journey is the journey.  - Zen saying

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Day 2: "Mommy, What's a Hypocrite?"

DISCLAIMER: This is a potty mouth post. If you read my other stuff you will know that this is not my norm. But I'm detoxing (or trying to anyway) from all things internet/TV/iPad games/Facebook/Twitter...and it's not easy. This post kind of goes off the rails there at the end. 
So there you go.

Day 2. Hmmmm how do I word this so I don't sound like a terrible mother. ?  I can't really think of a clever way so I'll just tell ya how it all went down.


Early Morning on Day 2 of Screen Free Week:

"Kids, mommy is really tired because I didn't get enough sleep last night so I'm feeling pretty fussy and sleepy (Side note: I had the most wicked insomnia last night. It's like I'm pregnant or something.) I'd love to sleep a bit more so I don't have a tantrum. If you please stay in here and snuggle in bed with me you can watch Disney Junior on the iPad for a bit while mommy closes my eyes for a bit longer. Sound good?"  

"Awesome!  We get to watch the iPad???!!!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

Win Win.  

(...but is it really?)

So there's that. On Day 2. Of Screen Free WEEK - meaning a whole 7 days in a row without any screen time....and on Day 2 the kids started the day off with screen time.

*Sigh*

Oh and then there was the time where I played the game of "do as I say, not as I do." Yea, that always goes over well. Kinda like when this happens:

Mommy: "Kids, it's important to eat something healthy for breakfast to start the day off right. Have some scrambled organic kale with melted kale and a side of kale. Drink up your kale kids, it's time to go to school." 

Kids: "Uhhh...Mommy, are you having cold pizza and ice cream in your coffee for breakfast?"

Mommy: "We ran out of eggs and creamer.....??????"

Busted.  

So yes, as you've read I told my kids they can't watch TV or play the iPad because we're taking a break from it for the Screen Free Week Challenge. However, MOMMY was going to blog about our suffering the whole week.  On top of that, I was blogging some paragraphs and notes for future Screen Free Week blog posts while the kids were waiting for me to get off the computer to go outside and do something fun.  Nice.

Total Hypocrite Mom Fail.

So after I made myself a mid-morning cappuccino and cleared the fog from my brain I packed the kids up and we all piled in the car with our sand toys and bathing suits and beach towels and headed to the ocean for some very much needed fresh air.  It was on our drive to the beach that I thought, "What the hell am I doooooing??!!  I'm totally, 100% completely missing the boat here on what Screen Free Week even means.  Blogging everyday for the whole- for what?  For who?!  No one is even online reading this right now because everyone is doing the Screen Free Week Challenge!...right?"

Maybe it was Miss Preschooler calling me out saying, "Mommy, we've been waiting for you!" to bang the final shitty nail into the shitty coffin of my shitty "screen time" guilt that did it. Maybe it was the need for other things to change and detox and get better in my life (like my overall health and well being) to make me realize we REALLY need to do this as a family and we need to do it right. It's not just the kids who need a TV/iPad/Netflix detox. It's mommy who needs a facebook detox. If all I did was blog, that would be great because at least I'd be creating something. But that is not all I'm doing. I'm wasting so much fucking time on facebook it's not even funny. Free time. Precious free time that mom's of little ones have so little of and how do I spend it?  Scrolling through the facebook news feed. Now with a smart phone that has alerts and dings and buzzers and notifications you are constantly updated 24/7 to everyone in your friends list as well as all of the pages you "like" all hours of the day. "So and so just passed gas. Here's a link." As I'm sure you know since all anyone has to do is go to the park and check out the parents sitting on the benches with their heads bent over a cell phone to see that everyone has a smart phone now.

Realization: My house is suffering for it, my health is suffering for it. So basically, (and honestly) my life is suffering for it. It's time for me to look this square in the eye and face the facts about it. The hard cold, punch you across the mouth facts about it and stop trying to stay in denial because that isn't helping anyone. It's hurting in fact. Hurting a lot in many different ways. Mommy's not perfect kids - far from it and I'm sorry that I have let this stupid social networking site become the sun that we all revolve around, however I may try to justify it to myself. It needs to stop. I have to be honest with myself, evaluate this whole thing, weigh the pros and cons of being plugged in 24/7 and really admit some shit to myself, get real and look at what is happening and how it's crumbling. I know it's not just me. I know it's most of the free world that is feeling this way. I think many of us feel the walls closing in around us in some way while we try to hold on to some shred of privacy.

Reality: When you make the minute-by-minute decision to live your daily life online, there is no such thing as privacy.

Reflection: Is it worth it?  Is this totally connected yet very disconnected life we've created for ourselves working in our benefit?  Am I the only one who finds a conversation (in person) a bit awkward when it's with someone who in real life is just an acquaintance but on facebook is the exact same as everyone else on your profile from your spouse, and siblings, blood relatives, college friends, friends from childhood, work friends, former co-workers down to the friend of a friend's friend you just met at a party - these are all considered your "facebook friends" - it can be a bit strained and awkward though, no? I mean, you don't really even know this person, yet you know intimate things about them - and they know intimate things about you too. Most likely you've viewed about 1000 of their photos from the intimate childbirth photos to the drunken Halloween party with the girls in Vegas photos, you know that they just got promoted, you know that their child has been potty training and had an accident in the isle at Target, you know their grandpa just died and their car broke down, their 10th anniversary was last week and their sitter cancelled so they ordered take out. On top of that you know every single detail of their religious and political views whether you want that information or not  - all via facebook status updates and pictures they've willing shared and posted- yet in person we all pretend we never saw it when they mention it in conversation to avoid seeming like a total stalker. Or maybe we were just an insomniac lurker at 2:30am combing through facebook profiles and never actually "liked" or commented on anything so we don't want them to know we already know!  But you know that they know that we know. Everybody knows.

OK, I'll try to pull the nose up on this one.

So I've made some small steps towards change that I'm hoping will turn into a bigger impact over all in my life.

Taking Small Steps To Change: I've disabled all notifications and alerts and dings and buzzers on my smart phone. When I "wake it up" to see the date/time, that is all I see. So it's easy to shut it back off and put it in my pocket. I no longer see that someone updated their profile pic or that someone commented on something or "liked" a new page or whatever else is going on in the world that never sleeps - aka The Internet. In the past seeing 5-8 notifications on my very first screen of my phone could have very easily added a good 10-15+ minutes on to whatever task I was right in the middle of when the dings chimed to alert me to something someone did on facebook.

I love you, but I do not need this much information about you.

I'm looking forward to more small steps in the coming week of Screen Free Week. And who knows, I might just be brave and add a few days on the back end to make up for my stellar performance in Screen Free Week thus far.



Please Share!  Misery Loves Company!!

Are you doing this thing too?  How is it going for you and your family?  Let me know I'm not the only one out there having a hard time but who's still trying to plug away at it. 

Here's to celebrating the baby steps I've made the past 2 days and for trying to change my all-or-nothing way of thinking. 

Hang in there!

Screen-Free Week April 30 - May 5, 2013 - Day 1: Recap

Day 1 Recap:

Ummm.... well.....hmmmmm....Day 1 - Where do I begin exactly? -


The fact that my preschooler had a full on WWIII, 4-Alarm melt down that lasted about an hour when I told her, "The iPad was taking a vacation and we couldn't watch it/play a game and needed to find something else to do" made me really realize two things:

1. This was going to be harder than I thought - A LOT HARDER - for both of us.
2. My family NEEDS this week of no screen time more than I realized.

The day started off fine (in regards to no TV/iPad that is) because we were off and running early in the morning to take everyone to their little classes. My preschooler takes a class by herself at the nature center where she can be one with nature and all of the bugs. So no iPad there and no TV either. Ever. I've never even see one of the workers or volunteers there even holding a cell phone much less actually using one. It seems pretty taboo there. I like that.

My little guy and I take a mommy and me pre-preschool class together and I had signed up for snack so we had to leave extra early to set up, so no time in the morning for any of our shows. No big deal. We don't usually watch TV before school anyway. No TV in the morning. Check.

Went to a special lunch at a restaurant with Nana - no media devices there ever so no big deal. Check.

Went to grammy's to chill for a bit after and we decided to leave the TV off. That was good and it was no big deal. It did take my preschooler a little bit to settle in and find something to do that didn't involve media - but she didn't even ask for it. Finally when we were just about to get ready to leave she brought out all of these paints and started to paint. She usually takes a while to settle in anyway, so this was the norm. But it's not as noticeable when Micky Mouse Club House is on.

Drive home - no media devices in the car allowed ever unless we are in the car for several hours on a family road trip so that wasn't a big deal. Car drive with no iPad. Check.

Both kids drifted off for a nap in the car at like 3pm. Not fun for bed time btw. So waking up groggy from a late nap about 45 minutes later and then transitioning to being home when it's time to start winding down from the busy day - "but we just woke up from a nap! It's playtime!" - it's confusing and frustrating and they wanted to go off on another adventure and not come in and prep for dinner and bed time and do some chores. Understandable. During dinner prep is usually the time where they are allowed to play games on the iPad or watch something on Disney Junior like Jake and The Neverland Pirates, Doc Mc Stuffins, Little Einstein's, etc.. I don't have a problem with those shows, but for the sake of going Screen-Free for the week they were banned. So it was during this funky transition time where the monumental melt down occurred. I don't really blame them. Transitions are hard for kids under normal circumstances and old habits are even harder when you are expected to break them.

"Now what are we supposed to dooooooo?!"

I get it. I really do. Trust me, I too missed them being preoccupied during that time so I could cook dinner and not have to break up fights every few seconds because they were two very unhappy little creatures of habit wanting their shows. I've given up caffeine and chocolate before. Oh how I understand their anger.

When I told hubby we were going to try to go Screen-Free for the week his eyes got as big as saucers and he was in denial about the fact that he was a part of we.  

SorryBabeLoveYou!

After the kids went to bed I settled on the couch to chill out and I read a book instead of searching through Netflix. When hubby came in to settle on the couch with me we decided to chat as opposed to surf the net on our phones or turn on the TV.

However, we do have a DVD that arrived and we do plan to watch it this week so we can send it back and get another one. But so far the progress has already been positive because the thought of "doing something other than the internet/TV" is now in our brains and there is an effort being made to turn them off.

Recap:

I'm figuring days 1, 2 and possibly part of 3 are going to be heavy duty detox days where we need to be a little easy on ourselves and ease into it for lack of a better word. We're going to try our best and do what we can. We were consuming A LOT of TV and iPad apparently. I knew this and there were times where I felt guilty about it because during some of those times the sun was shining and we should've been outside, but we were in the house watching Jake And The Neverland Pirates. "Arrr, it be a bad choice we made! Yar!" 

A lot of our current media addictions stemmed from the several weeks at the beginning of the year where someone in our house had the stomach flu. I'm talking the bad, projectile barfing kind coupled with explosive diarrhea and we all had it at different times. So yes, we watched A LOT of movies and TV shows and various DVD's and games on the iPad as well as other things that don't involve electronics like coloring just to get through the days. The days where it was my turn to run into the bathroom every 22 minutes was the worst in regards of media consumption (and snacks for meals) because the kids felt pretty good and very well could've gone out to play but I was sick as a dog and didn't have the energy for anything that involved being a mother. Or a human for that matter. So all of those bad habits from our Typhoid Mary days need to be broken.

So that was Day 1 of our Screen-Free Week detox plan and we got through it. How did yours go?

Oh...and I sprayed this aromatherapy stuff yesterday...A LOT!!

Screen-Free Week April 30-May 5, 2013 - STARTS TODAY!

My cousin posted this yesterday and it was the first time I saw this particular event.  I've seen them in the past and always thought, "I should do that." and then I quickly forgot about it an hour later and I went to log on to the computer or turn on Disney Jr for the kids so I could cook dinner.

Screen-Free Week Fail #1.

My cousin said she was going to go screen-free for the week starting yesterday (a day early) and if you needed to contact her then do so via old school methods - the phone. Imagine that?  Phone calls that are friends wanting to chat as opposed to solicitors or the school principal.

So I thought I'd give it a go. But I'm going to be realistic about it at first. Try to ease into it on day 1-2-ish. I don't do well in cold-turkey/all-or-nothing situations. I have given myself permission to journal about it via my blog. My issue isn't the internet in general - my issue is facebook. (In more ways than 1, but that is another post for another time.)

I will "check-in" via this blog each day to share our progress and from this blog I will share it on twitter and my facebook page. However, I'm not going to actually go to the twitter and facebook pages because it's too easy to get sucked in over there. Here in my calm little corner of the internet on my mom's blog I don't have a running ticker of what the rest of the world is doing and all other manner in which facebook keeps you hanging about on it's site. I kind of like that.

Please check back this week to see how the kids and I are doing during our attempt at Screen-Free Week 2013. 

So far it's friggin' Lord Of The Flies over here. Lots of tears and a lot of fighting and a lot of figuring out our place in the world and what to do with ourselves - and it's only been a few hours...on day #1....

Wish us luck.

Here are some daily updates. We're seriously doing this!!

Screen-Free Week Day 1: Recap.
Screen-Free Week Day 2: "Mommy, What's a Hypocrite?"
Screen-Free Week Day 3: Recap - Keep Calm and Carry On.