Water Baby

Pool is ready, water is warm,

midwife, doula, hubby and me, I will not conform.

I'm breathing the way I need to,

moving the way I need to,

walking when I need to,

squatting when I need to.

Pacing the rooms, my feet are bare,

our lives on these walls, and soon baby is there.

I'm eating because I need to,

drinking when I need to,

only talking when I need to,

peacefully quiet because I need to.

Coldplay on the itunes,

fresh flowers wafting through,

feeling confident and strong

my body knows just what to do.

Laughing when I need to,

closing my eyes because I need to,

crying when I need to,

reaching out for you because I need you.

Room filled with soft whispers,

the only light is in the hall,

warm water pouring over my back,

not feeling rushed at all.

Rocking when I need to,

humming when I need to,

blocking out what I need to,

drawing inward because I need to.

Pain ever present, feeling like I need to push,

my body taking over, water breaking there's the woosh!

I'm kneeling because I need to,

embracing the feeling because I need to,

battle cries when I need to,

retreating home when I need to.

Husband is strong never leaving my side,

my head is in his chest.

Everyone is waiting for me to give their cue

because they know, I know myself best.

I'm pushing when I need to,

for however long my body needs to,

I'm moaning when I need to,

laboring naturally because I need to.

The baby is coming quickly now

as you can see in the water below!

Is our new little love

a baby girl or baby boy?

We still do not know!

I reach down because I need to,

catch my baby in my arms because I need to,

we embrace our new love because we need to,

Free to take the time that we need to.

We squeal in delight our baby is here

oh, such a magical joy!

After several minutes of loving this new bundle

we discover that he is a boy!

Holding him close because I need to,

cord cutting can wait because it needs to,

adjusting peacefully because he needs to,

in mama's arms because we need to.

Everyone is happy and safe,

bouncing baby boy is ten pounds!

The house is bright and filled with love

and all sorts of new baby sounds.

A shower and my bed because I need to,

breastfeed him when he needs to,

skin to skin because we need to,

all three napping together because we need to.

After a peaceful sleep big sister is here!

She wants to meet “baby brother.”

She knew all along it'd be you coming to her,

this bond is like no other.

Believe in yourself because you need to!

Your heart is telling you what it needs to,

trust yourself because you need to,

Be strong for your baby, because he needs you.

By Colleen Duncan-Canavan

Dec 4, 2011

This poem was inspired by my water baby, Ely Finn. Born at home, caught by his mother. I'm waiting to hear back if this will be accepted into an anthology. I'll update it here if it was chosen.

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Thank you for your support!

I wanted to take this time to send out a thank you for your love and support with my story, "Thank You For Coming To Me Baby Brother."

Many of my facebook family and friends voted for my story and so many of you promoted it on your page and got your friends and family and co-workers, etc. to vote too and I appreciate that so much! I still have a few more raffles to pick too, so stay tuned! I'll be writing a blog post to thank all of you individually who supported my little story, so I'll share that on here as well. I have not forgotten you and I appreciate you very much!

The MeeGenius contest is officially over and it appears that they have decided not to choose "Baby Brother" as a semi finalist. They will announce the semi-finalists officially on Jan 31st. I wrote them an email last week asking them if they already sent out the emails but I read it on their facebook page today that they have already chosen them and sent out emails. The number of semi-finalists is undetermined. Despite the fact that I was fairly certain I was going to be a judge's pick, they have another vision for their ebooks library, and I'm actually excited about the possibilities that are now out there for me to explore with my story and the others in the "older sibling/baby sibling"series. Many people have asked me to write other versions of my story so their child can have one about them too, so I plan to do just that. I'll be working on a Big Sister/Baby Sister version, a Big Brother/Baby Sister version and a Big Brother/Baby Brother version! I'd love to hear any ideas you may have for these stories. If you have any special moments that have been shared between your own children that you can see fitting into one of these stories, I'd love to hear it! Please share in the comments section of this blog post or you can email me too at: colleen@mnky.com.

I'm not bummed that it wasn't chosen because of all of the positive feedback I have received from all of this. I'm looking at this as a blessing in disguise because I really see this book as a hard cover book that you can own and have it on your shelf, where you can sit and read it and physically flip through the pages even if you don't have an ipad/iphone. It will be published one way or another either through self publishing or through finding a publisher who believes in this story as much as I do. However, I'll need to wait til April of 2012 before it's "officially released" back to me. MeeGenius still has the rights to publish it later after the contest is over. I'm not sure why they would do that if it's not a semi-finalist, but we'll see. I'd rather it just be released back to me at this point so I can find a publisher to make it into a physical book.

I'm so overwhelmed by all of the love and support so many of you have given me and my little story, as well as the perfect strangers who took the time to vote and leave me a comment to tell me how it touched them. I'm going to print up all of my comments and treasure them always. I will also compile them into one blog post so my mom can read all of them too, haha. Or anyone else for that matter.

Thank you again soooo much! It really touched my heart beyond words how so many of you took the time to support me and my writing. It means a lot and I'm very grateful to have so many of you in my life and call my friend. Thank you.

P.S. Here is an UPDATE on my children's book.

xoxoxo

~*Colleen

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Halloween Night With A 3 Year Old: Episode 1

What's the deal with Dots, anyway?

The scene: Halloween night....
The location: Your neighbor's porch.
The cast: Your 3 year old daughter.

You walk up to the door with your child, "Trick or Treat!" They reach into a big bowl full of little snickers, reese's pb cups, m&m's, twix and other chocolatey delights. Then, under a milkey way you spot...the Dots. The bogus, lame chewy things that stick to all of your back teeth. Inside you are screaming, "NO! Don't do it! Reach left, LEEEEFT!"...but alas, they pick up "the dots." And you walk away all sad and chocolateless.

...."Saaaay thaaaank yooooou....."

What is the deal with Dots anyway? Sweet score or totally bogus?

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The loot a 3 year old hauls in (with much quarterbacking at the candy bowl by mom and dad)...minus The Dots.

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The Toddler Gourmet: SNACKS-Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Toast. It's sure to pass the yummy test!

For our first edition of The Toddler Gourmet I thought I'd give a shout out to my favorite season, Pumpkin Season! Having two kids who are eating regular meals now, I need to get creative as to what to fix so that they can both eat the same thing so I don't feel like a short order cook. My lil guy who is a year old already (that year whizzed by, let me tell you!) just got the OK from our ped to start eating peanut butter. And since no one in our family, immediate or extended is allergic to peanuts, I figured that would be a great snack to help fill him up.

My good friend Leah gave me some awesome pumpkin butter for my birthday (thanks Leah!) and we've been putting it on our toast in the morning. One day by accident because I was so sleep deprived I spread pumpkin butter on my already peanut buttered toast and...Voilà, Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Toast was born! I let my daughter have a bite and all I heard were the "yummy noises" and the fact that I needed to make another piece so I could actually have some was enough for me to add it to our regular menu. I made some for the baby and cut it into tiny pieces (which is sort of a mess, btw) and he loved it too!

What you'll need:

-Organic unsalted, creamy peanut butter.*-Pumpkin butter
-Whole grain bread**

Toast the bread for however long you like (lightly toasted if it's for a baby). Add a layer of peanut butter and top with pumpkin butter (as you would jelly). Cut into 4's for an older toddler or into a million tiny bits if it's for a baby. ;-)

*Try to buy organic whenever possible (AKA "affordable"). If you shop at Trader Joe's, you can find organic products that are just a bit less than their conventional counterpart. (I once saw only a 20 cent difference in zucchini at Trader Joe's in the summer! I was shocked!) I also like to do unsalted creamy for the kids. My preschooler can do unsalted crunchy when spread thin, but since I'm doing this recipe for both of them I opt for unsalted creamy.

Variations:

Bread **
We like to use anything whole grain. Raisin bread is quickly becoming a fan favorite in our house, and we just discovered a new bread at Trader Joe's that is called Panetone Bread (just like the Italian bread you find around the holidays) but this is in a loaf and sliced. My preschooler LOVED it!


And of course this edition of The Toddler Gourmet is even a hit for mama when paired with a pumpkin spice latte, a good book and 20 minutes of quiet time! If you are lucky enough to make this happen please light your holiday candle to go with it!

Enjoy!
Photo Notes:
Baby Boy: Yes, you're right...I probably should've wiped his nose before taking his picture for the world to see. And it's neither Thanksgiving nor Baby's first Thanksgiving either. Let's just say he's lucky he's not still wearing his sister's princess jammies with the poofy sleeves from the night before. We're recycling. Recession and all...
Big Sister: Pay no attention to the junk on the shelf behind her. C'est la vie...with 2 kids! And the black dot on her bread is a raisin....I hope...



Will your toddler eat anything with pumpkin? If so, what are your favorite pumpkin inspired recipes for the kids?

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Dear Fachebook

I see you... making all of your changes without any warning. I'm just waiting for the day were you go all "netflicks" on us and start charging for what used to be free (streaming video) because we're hooked now.  You're just waiting til all of us millions and millions of people totally give up using the phone and email and face-to-face conversations to communicate with one another and only click "like" as our total form of communication on a myriad of topics (which is kinda like now) because we'll eventually be too lazy to even type a comment and then...here come the charges....but we're sucked in now-for years some of us, so we'll just pay it because everyone and their grandma's dog Mr. Fluffy Pants are already too addicted to the social network to give up the juice...so we'll gladly pay the $29.95 per year to stay in the loop with our "close friends" , our "family", our "co-workers", our "frienenemys" or anyone else YOU deem important to me...until you make the charge monthly cuz you know we're suckers and as Todd says, "we're all just sheepeople anyway." Baaaaa!...and guess what? We'll probably just pay the monthly charge too cuz we need it, we want it and we can't live without it.  As Ely would say, "I smell what you're stepping in" facebook.  I smell what you are stepping in and let me tell you something mister-it stinks!  I'm now going to join a group about how we wish you'd "bring back the old facebook cuz this one sucks and while you are add it, please add a "dislike" button so I can "dislike" the new changes." Oh yea, and go blank yourself for thinking you own us...oh wait...too late.....

We won't know when, we won't know where but they're coming............

*cue the music from Halloween.* 

Signed your jilted EX-lover,

Coco Cana 

facebook shmacebook.

For The Love of God...Please Nap.

I find the inspiration to write from many things. Some of it comes from conversations or things I've read from other moms' posts, a lot of it comes from the funny things my daughter or husband says. Today it comes from my total lack of finesse for putting my 8 mo old down for a nap. Usually I'm a pro at taking a sleeping baby from my arms and laying him in his crib, slipping my arm out from under his head and sneaking off into the other room. I've even been able to transfer a sleeping infant from a car seat to the crib without so much as a peep, which is usually the kiss of death. Today...not so much.

It started out well. I nursed Little Man in the morning where, usually he will fall asleep for about an hour. This is his "morning nap." I stood up, changed the position of my arms (baby still asleep), walked into his room and was pretty sloppy in putting him down because my back was hurting a bit (another issue...grrr.) And he did that ticked off flopping around thing where his arms and legs flail open as well as his eyes. Boo. So when this happens in the past "my move" has been to quickly roll him to his desired fetal position du jour, place both hands on his body as well as my face on his cheek or neck or head (yes I'm leaning WAY over into the crib at this point) and I'll stay there for a moment where I can then slowly move back once I can feel that he has fallen back asleep. Since he was just in my arms, the baby wrap or being nursed to sleep (I know some see this as a bad habit) the warmth and comfort of my body on his when he starts to wake up usually gets him to fall back asleep. I'm also lucky that he is a thumb sucker. And yes I do see this as very lucky (at this point in life...talk to me at 3 yrs old and I might not see it the same way.) But for now I think it's great because the second I take him off the boob the thumb goes right into the mouth and he (usually) stays asleep. It works for both of us. I no longer have to sit on the couch for a 2 hour nap with a sleeping baby on my lap, desperately fearful of moving him and him waking up.

This was the situation with Birdie. She'd fall asleep after I nursed her and I didn't dare move off the couch because she would absolutely wake up and then nap time A.K.A. "mama's free time" would be over. She didn't suck her thumb or take a paci so we really had to work on the whole "soothing herself to sleep" thing. But it's funny because that is exactly what Little Man is doing, but it's seen as such a bad thing by so many people. "Don't let him suck his thumb!" Really? How in the world are you supposed to stop an infant from sucking their thumb? Anyway...

So this went on pretty much all afternoon with him falling asleep and me totally blanking up the execution of putting him into his crib. Him flailing around all pissed at the world, eyes flinging open like it's the cops banging at your door at 3am and then....game over. It's a no nap day. Better search the freezer for some chocolate.

What's your go-to, get better, bad day, pick-me-up? Mine are chocolate and lattes. Preferably together. ;-)

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Doing What I Love...A Tribute To My Mom

My mom is retiring from the school district this year after working there for 23 years. She started out as a Written Language Instructor in a program called Back to Back. In a nut shell, she taught a creative writing class to elementary school students. Can you imagine a class like that existing today in a public school? It's a shame that after 9 very successful years they lost funding and cut the program and all of those wonderful stories and ideas and a place to get those creative juices flowing out of those little kids was just gone. Several years later she had her full circle moment at Pavilions where a young man came up to her and said, "Excuse me? Are you Mrs. D-----?" and she said, "yes?.....Oh hi Scott!" and he was talking about her creative writing class and he told her how much he loved it and that it was so inspiring to him and it meant so much to him after all these years that he decided to become a journalism major in college. It was a very proud moment.

Last weekend was my mom's retirement party with all of her co-workers and she asked me to write a little something to say at the breakfast. I immediately knew I wanted to touch upon what she did all those years ago because she was now working in special ed and all of the teachers who remembered the Back to Back program were long since retired or had moved on to other schools. She has absolutely bloomed where she was planted in the special ed program, but I know she missed teaching that class for a long time. I wanted to high light that very creative time in my mom's life and hopefully spark her interest in writing again as she gets ready to retire. Retired people need a hobby, ya know! But in doing so I realized that I had reignited my own love for writing that has taken somewhat of a back seat since starting a family 3+ years ago.

I have always loved to write and thanks to my mom I have called myself a "writer" since I was in first grade. My mom was extremely encouraging to me and always enjoyed my writing. In my "late teens".....(ahem).... ok, ok mid twenties, I moved up to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting only to find my true calling was still writing. I ended up working with a group of actors who became friends whom I fondly referred to as "The 24's" and we'd write, direct and put on a show in 24 hours, called The 24-Hour Plays. It's an extremely intense and completely creative process that was terrifying at the same time since I was one of the writers. After that first one where I swore I'd never do another one I got hooked and made sure to participate in the monthly show about 4 times after that. I even got my mom to come out and co-write one with me while she was on summer break and in addition o writing she was our lead actress in her stage debut! We had a blast and stayed up for a total of 33 hours by the time the curtain closed.

I got married and moved as far away as possible from that seedy little stage in Hollywood where we'd put on our evening of one act plays, but I never stopped writing. My husband and I moved to the Island of Kauai (in Hawaii for those who've asked me, "where is that?") just two months after we got married in June 06 and I quickly joined a group of women writers and wrote another one-act play that won one out of only two spots to be put up as a Dinner Theatre at a local resort. It was a successful sold out show and it had "rave reviews" in our tiny island paper with not much else going on (haha), so that was really fun thing to be a part of. Unfortunately, I became very sick with morning sickness and a weird "jungle flu" I caught on Kauai that landed me in the hospital in my early pregnancy with my first born, so I wasn't able to actually direct my show. Which for a total control freak over my own work like myself was really hard to totally give the reigns to someone else, who was a complete stranger no less, so I was seeing it for the first time as the audience was seeing it. It ended up great and the audience seemed to enjoy it and although I had a very different vision for it, it was really fun to see a mans perspective (who was in his 70's btw!) on a show that had a strong female lead and was a very "girl power" piece. I was pretty impressed that he stayed true to the script and didn't change too much.

So now fast forward to 2011 and I am a stay-at-home mom to a 3 year old daughter and an 8 month old son and the fire inside to write and create still burns and has become stronger since I started working on my mom's presentation a few weeks ago. My whole life I have loved to make people laugh especially when I write and what's funnier than pregnancy, child birth, newborns, toddlers, husbands....?...Well OK so maybe those things alone aren't very funny but add in a sleep deprived, over worked, under paid, totally overwhelmed new mom's point of view and we're talking hilarious people! Pure magic! Well...to another sleep deprived, over worked, under paid, totally overwhelmed new mom maybe....OK, my own mom thinks it's hilarious, so there you go. I just hope to put a smile on your face between wiping baby barf off your laptop and planning playdates with the one kid your toddler will actually share with. Please join me and my moms blog as I journey into the writing world here at blogger by subscribing to my page or if you "Like" you can be the first to join my facebook page by the same name:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Tales-From-The-Crib/206702489375070

I'd love to know:
What do you love to do? What is the one true passion in your life that is the first thing that pops into your brain the instant someone asks you that question? It's the one thing that (usually) doesn't take any thought at all, (unless you are totally trying to deny yourself this life long passion) it's just there...BAM! In your head before the question is even finished. All of the other things that you hem & haw about are just hobbies. They can still be great and bring you much joy but your passion, the fire inside that can't be ignored no matter where you live, how much money you have, how old you are, how long you've been married or single or divorced or widowed...that never goes away! Or if it does it just needs a little spark to get it back like mine did. Thanks mom! ;-)

Random Thoughts...

It's pretty bad when you find a thing of leftovers in the fridge and think, "now when did I cook that?"

It's even worse when you smell it, kinda shrug, smell it again - but like you're trying to take the color out of it or something, nose almost touching the food, shrug again, then take a bite.

Need to get back on track!

OK the madness has got to stop! We got into a really bad habit during our move of eating crap food, going through the drive thru, eating way too much ice cream after dinner....buying ice cream by the gallon and then when it runs out we replace it pretty much within a day or so...this is not normal behavior for us at all and it has got to stop. I'm pretty bummed because we did so well a few months back when we took part in a weight loss challenge but because of being so stressed out from the move we ate really bad food to deal with our stress, so we've gained a lot of it back. Which is hard to admit. I don't know how much because I don't know where our scale is, (part of that is I haven't actually looked for it...) but I can feel in my clothes that I have gained weight back and I can tell from how I look that I have gained weight back. Just in time for summer, right? Ugh.

I need to start drinking water more, I need to just say "no" in the store so I don't have to say no at home after a tough day with the kids where all I'm thinking about is sitting in front of the TV and having some ice cream to totally veg out. I need to start moving more. But I'm so tired all the time. I'm caught in that vicious cycle thing where I don't have any energy to work out and because I'm not working out I'm not getting any energy...if that makes sense.

The bright side is, we stopped eating fast food and I'm cooking dinners again. I just prepped a bunch of fruit to have on hand quickly and I'm about to prep some lettuce and some bell peppers. So it's a start. But why is it so hard?! Sometimes I feel like it can be the easiest thing in the world for me to say no to eating junk and times like right now I feel like I can't buy any will power.

Any advice?

Created a Monster?

Ok so I *might* have created a little monster here...not sure. But this morning I was making a latte (hooray for home espresso machines btw!) and I was using coconut cream creamer and Summer wanted to smell it saying she LOVES coconut...?...She's never had it, LOL, anyway so I let her smell it and she wanted to have some. So I put a teaspoon in her milk and she FLIPPED out! She absolutely loved it and now...well, let's just say I hope I didn't create a monster here, haha. At least she drank her milk, right?