My Journey To Motherhood: My Water Baby

The birth of my second baby was so moving it was like a rebirth of my soul and a newfound belief in myself and what I was capable of. Although my first birth was beautiful, I didn't feel prepared despite taking a birthing class. During labor I went to a very dark place deep inside myself, feeling so scared and isolated in my pain not even my husband or mother could penetrate it. Not knowing if I was capable of giving birth on my own, I felt like the pain would keep escalating until I was going to die because I didn't think it would end. I knew without a doubt I never wanted to feel that again. I wanted to experience a positive birth but I didn't think they existed. Then I saw “The Business Of Being Born.” My daughter was one week old and we watched the film that would eventually change our lives in so many ways and completely effect how our second baby would be born 2 ½ years later.

I longed for a birth like I saw in the film but I didn't know where to begin, so I started writing “My Ultimate Dream Birth.” In this wish list I threw everything out the window that would get in the way of my dream, like insurance and money issues, my husband's and my fears, family concerns, societal pressure and I wrote what my heart wanted. I discovered that I wanted a water birth with a midwife and a doula, I wanted to prepare for an unmedicated birth by taking The Bradley Method, and I wanted to feel strong, empowered, confident and capable. I had this beautiful story that seemed like a fairy tale because I didn't know how to make it a reality.

I became extremely ill with persistent bronchitis that would plague me throughout my entire first trimester making it hard to do the research needed to find an alternative birth plan on top of taking care of a busy toddler. We moved when our daughter was almost a year old so I needed to find a new OBGYN. After expressing my wishes for a natural birth during a second trimester appointment, my new doc said I'd “be crazy for not taking perfectly good drugs (epidural) that have zero effect on the baby” and that, “No one was handing out gold stars for having a non-medicated birth.” 

That was my last appointment with the new doc. 

I was 26 weeks pregnant. 

The scene from the documentary kept playing over in my mind where Ricki was saying, “It wasn't an illness, it wasn't something that needed to be numbed, it needed to be experienced...” I needed that experience. 

Immediately, I started to look for birthing centers and I found South Coast Midwifery in Irvine. I cried looking at the pictures of these strong women confidently birthing their babies and knew I found what I was looking for. We loved SCM. By the second appointment they knew my name where before I was a number and after 26 weeks my doctor didn't even recognize me in the hallway before our final appointment. I was excited at the chance at having my dream birth at home.

The morning before my due date I lost my mp. I ran errands despite the fact that things felt different. Around 5pm I started having very steady contractions so it was time to head home! My parents took our daughter to their house, my husband started filling up the birthing tub and I paced the house feeling busy and restless. My contractions were becoming so fast and furious and extremely painful they took me by surprise and I had those fleeting moments of, “Uh-oh! What did I get myself into?” I felt frantic as my husband realized he needed to start filling the tub with warmer water and was running back and forth from the tub to where ever I happened to be crouching when I'd yell for him during a contraction. My doula quickly arrived and once in the tub I felt calm, relaxed. Flickering candlelight filled the room with songs from my labor playlist. (We still did not know if we were having a boy or a girl!) My eyes had been closed for quite some time, I was in my own world humming to the music and groaning with each contraction. It felt like it was helping to take away the pain by pushing it out of my body in low, gravely groans as opposed to holding it in, holding my breath. It was not the hysterical, out-of-control screams seen on TV that condition women into thinking this is what's expected during labor. These were deep, primal and somewhat animalistic.

The room was still yet active. There were no constant beeps from various machines, no light piercing my loosely closed eyes, no cords tethering me to IV's and heart monitors keeping me from the movements I needed to make. No hospital protocol keeping me from eating and drinking what I needed to remained energized. There was no pressure to perform during anyone's time frame in order for my wishes to be granted. It was me kneeling in a tub of warm water, my head buried in the chest of my strong husband who never left my side. My doula was slowly pouring water on my back and massaging the pain away with her fists and my midwife and assistant who arrived around midnight were setting up what medical equipment they might or might not need.

Just then things started to change...

“Are you ready to catch your baby?”

My midwife asked after only pushing for a short amount of time. Those were the most powerful words I had ever heard. After one last push at 12:49am out spiraled this huge, pink baby hurling it's chubby body into my arms where I brought it up out of the water to my chest and my lips, “my baby, my baby!” I beamed over and over flashing me back to the birth of my daughter. My husband and I held our sweet baby for quite sometime crying and smiling, admiring our perfect angel. As my husband turned around to get the video camera I realized I still did not know the sex! Pulling the baby away from my chest I looked down and in amazement I exclaimed, “It's a boy! It's a boy!” I'll never forget the look on my husband's face as he quickly turned around to meet my eyes asking in disbelief, “It's a boy?” He peered over my shoulder and exclaimed, “It's a boy!” A whopping 10 pound, 21 inch bouncing baby boy who helped me achieve my ultimate dream birth. My water baby has inspired me to dare to be great and he has melted my heart ever since. 


To read more about my home water birth experience, click here. 

To read more about my water birth experience

For more information about:

Water Birth

The Business Of Being Born
Ina May Gaskin

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*This was originally posted on February 16, 2012 at BlogHer.com and was an entry into a contest put on by Ricki Lake and BlogHerMoms called Journey To Motherhood. We were asked to describe our own journey. This was 1 out of 4 entries I wrote for the contest.

My Journey To Motherhood: The Night It Hit Me - I'm A Mom

There are many lasting memories from the birth of our daughter. Memories that at almost four years later are so vivid I can still recall how her skin felt like suede, her cheeks like powder. The words of encouragement erupting into loud cheers from my birth team still echo in my mind as she finally came out on that last push. But there's one moment that really stands out as my, “I'm a mom” moment.

The night I had this slap-you-in-the-face realization was not during the 17+ hour labor where I paced the halls and folded into my husband's body with each painful contraction, or the 3 ½ hours of pushing (on my back) to finally get her out. It wasn't even necessarily the moment where she practically leapt out of my womb onto my stomach. I was squealing with delight, “My baby, my baby!” over and over as I held her in my arms - the nurses feverishly rubbing and massaging her red, squishy body. Just then our eyes met and she reached up and touched my face with her tiny fingers. For the longest time she was looking into my eyes and crying, touching my chin, lips and cheek as if to say, “It's you! It's really you! You're my mommy!” I'm so thankful to my nurse for capturing all of those special moments on camera because otherwise no one would believe us. If I saw that in a movie I'd think, “That would never happen!” But it did.

Even that moment, as surreal as it was, isn't the thing that's etched into my brain as “The moment.” Our two day hospital stay felt like a vacation. The friendly postpartum nurses cared for us like family. They offered much needed help with breastfeeding, armed us with expert swaddling techniques to transform our bundle of joy into a blissful baby burrito, and provided me with cooling gel pads for my already sore nipples. Mercifully, they encouraged us to sleep. Before our daughter's tiny cries could resonate in our heads and wake us from an exhausted slumber, they swept in like angels and scooped her up to comfort her. They answered every last concerning question we had with patience and understanding.

Leaving the hospital was a bit of a reality check for us. “Can we do this alone? They're professionals and we're just first time parents, how can they just let usleave like that?” Driving home looking back at the once empty car seat that was now filled with a tiny baby we thought, “Now what?” Luckily, my mom extended her flight to stay another week. I was exhausted from the long labor and in so much pain from pushing for so long all I wanted to do was sleep. We swaddled her tight, I nursed her and we placed our sleeping baby in her cradle next to our bed. “Wow, she didn't even cry, this isn't so bad after all!” Those were the last words I uttered as my head hit the pillow assuming we'd all sleep until morning. (Two kids later, I find this hilarious.)

An hour later we were jolted out of bed as if a drill sergeant were standing there screaming commands at us while honking an air horn in our faces. “What's going on? Is there an emergency? Someone's baby is really loud!”

Then it hit us.

“That's our baby!

Where's the nurse to scoop her up? Has she gotten louder?” This was a harsh reality made all the more jarring as we fumbled around the pitch black room trying to find this miniature siren (right next to us.) This nightly task quickly became second nature, but this first time was frantic, stressful, growing more and more urgent the longer she cried, and that's when I realized that I was the one she was crying for, I was the one who was responsible for nursing her, I was the one who could comfort her - so I scooped her up into my arms and thought, “wow, I'm actually a mom now and this is my baby,” and it felt good.

*This was originally posted on February 8, 2012 at BlogHer.com and was an entry into a contest put on by Ricki Lake and BlogHerMoms called Journey To Motherhood. We were asked to describe our own journey. This was 1 out of 4 entries I wrote for the contest.

Standing Ovation For The Single Moms

I of course feel that all moms deserve a standing ovation for a job that at times seems very unappreciated, especially if you have babies because they are not yet old enough to throw their arms around your neck and give a tight squeeze as they say, "I love you mommy" and then plant a big pucker on you. Babies give love in their own way, but it's quiet and said without words. Sometimes we need the words. No offense babies.

So tonight, I'm sending out some major love to all of the moms out there who are going it alone. Either full-time because the dad is no longer in the picture or going it solo for a lengthy period of time because dad is in the military and is away for months and months at a time. I know of a mom who's husband is off fighting for our country right now, in danger for his life every single day and the days are in triple digits til she sees him again. My heart goes out to her because she has a toddler and is both the mother and the father to this child until daddy comes home.

Some moms are the mother and the father and daddy never comes home. I'm not quite sure how you are able to get everything done that needs to be done, but somehow you do it. There are so many nights where I'm so appreciative of my husband because he comes home after work and he'll give the kids a bath while I'm cooking dinner and then he'll put one of them to bed while I'm putting the other one to bed. Then, like now when I'm sick as a dog he really steps it up. As a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) I don't get a sick days of course, but he does help out so much in the evenings. Two nights ago I lounged on the couch while he did bath, made dinner and put both kids to bed. Bless his heart! And I went to bed early too and he stayed up to do the dishes. I was literally the walking dead and I kept thinking, 

"how do single mom's do it?"
When I was pregnant with my first I met a mom who had ended her relationship with her boyfriend while she was still in early pregnancy. Just being pregnant I relied on my husband for so much support I didn't know how she was doing it alone, but I had no idea how hard it was to actually be a mother until baby girl came, and I had help. So to be a brand new mother all alone seemed terrifying to me. I remember her telling stories about how she had two jobs 6 days a week - a day job and a night job and her baby had two sitters - a day sitter and a night sitter. She didn't even have a full day off all week long because her days off overlapped and she'd usually pick up extra shifts anyway because she was always behind on money, so there were some weeks where she didn't have any time off at all.

One story of hers in particular made me so sad. She said when her baby was still just a lil guy (under a year old) and would nap in the car in the mornings in route to the day sitter and then again during the transition from the day sitter to the night sitter's house and then again from the night sitter's house to their apartment late at night, she would go several days without seeing her baby awake for a lengthy period of time, and for never any quality time, really. Several days! Except of course during the night feedings (which, yes, she still had to wake up several times a night for the first few months even though she was doing EVERYTHING alone all day long.) Babies don't get the memo that you are a single mom (or that you are sick on your death bed) and how it would be great if they just slept through the night. So in the wee hours in the morning when she'd wake the baby to get out the door in the mornings she'd have some baby love time and during the night several times she'd have some baby love time...but that was it. During her 1 hour commute to the day sitter in the mornings and from the day sitter to the night sitter's house (that was an hour and 45 minute commute) it was pure silence because baby was sleeping peacefully while she was left to her own thoughts of wishing things could be different, feeling guilty for never having any quality time with her baby - the one person she felt she ever truly loved with all of her heart, watching the long days drift into quick months, missing milestones while she dealt with catty co-workers, pushy bosses and rude customers. Many tears were shed on those long quiet drives between two jobs she'd rather not go to, and many hours were spent in vain trying to get a deadbeat dad to care for his child let alone pay for one damn thing. 

My heart ached for her.
Many said she did it to herself for getting involved with a looser guy who she herself said she knew was a deadbeat with no job, no car, and sleeping on a friend's couch when they were dating and "was stupid enough to get pregnant anyway" (her words.) But still, who are we to judge? Life can cast many hard blows and when your children are affected by it, it stings that much more. Regardless of her situation and how she got there, I always wished she'd find a better life for herself and for her child. She was kind and looked for the good in people and she loved her baby with everything she had. She deserved a better life. Her mom died when she was young and her dad wasn't emotionally available to her. She lived far from any grandparents who might have care for her given the chance because her father didn't want them around. She thought she loved this guy and felt sick to her stomach when she realized she was pregnant, but never thought for one second of doing anything other than caring for her baby and was going to do her best to provide him or her with a life of love that she never really knew.

Whenever times get really tough on me and I feel alone as a mother who has a very wonderful and very supportive husband who will change poopy diapers without even being asked and who will rock babies to sleep in the middle of the night if he needs to, I always think about her and what she is doing. Driving in the snow with a sleeping baby bundled in the back of the car going from one crappy low paying job to the next and having no real idea how her baby spent the last 10 hours, or how he'll spend the next 8. 

Was he happy? 
Did he laugh at the puppy he saw while he was sitting in the stroller at the park? 
Did he spit out his carrots or did he like them this time? 
Did he cry for a long time when he went down for a nap? 
Did he miss mommy?

Always running late for her next job she never really had the time to have long conversations with the day sitter to ask her these things. And she wasn't exactly thrilled about her either nor was she thrilled about the older children she also watched during the day. But this was the only daycare provider she could find that was close to her work and who would keep the baby for that many hours during the day and sometimes on weekends, and most of all, one she could actually afford. She felt she had no choice. Luckily the night sitter was a family member who she knew would gladly dole out as many cuddles and loves as the baby needed. But the majority of the time he was with the night sitter was when he was asleep, so she had to put it out of her mind how much she wished she could switch the two sitters. But her jobs and their available hours and locations wouldn't allow for a switch.

She talked about how blessed she was to have a reliable car that could weather the snowstorms, an apartment that she didn't have to share with a stranger, two jobs that made it possible to provide her baby with the best life she could. She saved her money so she could buy him some nice, brand new things for his first birthday. She was doing it by herself and she was proud of herself. She'll never know how much I thought about her all those nights and days that I was having it rough too, but at least I was able to be home with my baby witnessing every movement she made all day long and then had help in the evenings when my husband got home. It doesn't mean that I didn't also see many dark days as a new mother despite my help and support or that I didn't deserve or have the right to complain about it. All mothers have it rough, especially brand new mothers and if anyone tries to tell you differently they are candy coating it for whatever reason and flat out, they are lying. Motherhood is hard. Not all of it, but a lot of it. The stuff that has no answers. The stuff that has no reasoning behind it.

Whether you have a perfect angel baby who sleeps through the night from birth and never makes a fuss as a toddler or if you have a colicky baby from day #1 til she is three months old and then at three months and one day she starts teething and is miserable from that for weeks at a time...it's a hard job and no one really prepares you for it. They try when we are pregnant with our baby, but we don't believe them, we aren't really listening because we think that we'll have it differently (and we do for the most part - it's still hard though, but now it's our version of hard) and we just cast them off as being overly negative or thinking that we are not going to be capable of being a mom. Until we are actually in the trenches is when we think back to that advise and think...

"oh...that's what they were talking about. I get it now."

If you are a single mom or a military wife who is going it alone right now, give yourself a pat on the back. Go ahead...I'll wait. Smile at your accomplishments, give yourself credit for all of the hard work you've put in, all the hours and hours of overtime you've clocked that will not show up on your paycheck. Not in money anyway. But one of these days if it hasn't happened already, that sweet little bundle of joy sleeping next to you will come running up to you, throw her little chubby arms around your knees, look up at you with her sparkling eyes and say, "I love you mommy!" and you'll know it will all be worth it.

Please feel free to share your story here in the comments below. I'm listening, and know that someone out there somewhere is thinking about you and they are wishing the best for you too.

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Water Baby

Pool is ready, water is warm,

midwife, doula, hubby and me, I will not conform.

I'm breathing the way I need to,

moving the way I need to,

walking when I need to,

squatting when I need to.

Pacing the rooms, my feet are bare,

our lives on these walls, and soon baby is there.

I'm eating because I need to,

drinking when I need to,

only talking when I need to,

peacefully quiet because I need to.

Coldplay on the itunes,

fresh flowers wafting through,

feeling confident and strong

my body knows just what to do.

Laughing when I need to,

closing my eyes because I need to,

crying when I need to,

reaching out for you because I need you.

Room filled with soft whispers,

the only light is in the hall,

warm water pouring over my back,

not feeling rushed at all.

Rocking when I need to,

humming when I need to,

blocking out what I need to,

drawing inward because I need to.

Pain ever present, feeling like I need to push,

my body taking over, water breaking there's the woosh!

I'm kneeling because I need to,

embracing the feeling because I need to,

battle cries when I need to,

retreating home when I need to.

Husband is strong never leaving my side,

my head is in his chest.

Everyone is waiting for me to give their cue

because they know, I know myself best.

I'm pushing when I need to,

for however long my body needs to,

I'm moaning when I need to,

laboring naturally because I need to.

The baby is coming quickly now

as you can see in the water below!

Is our new little love

a baby girl or baby boy?

We still do not know!

I reach down because I need to,

catch my baby in my arms because I need to,

we embrace our new love because we need to,

Free to take the time that we need to.

We squeal in delight our baby is here

oh, such a magical joy!

After several minutes of loving this new bundle

we discover that he is a boy!

Holding him close because I need to,

cord cutting can wait because it needs to,

adjusting peacefully because he needs to,

in mama's arms because we need to.

Everyone is happy and safe,

bouncing baby boy is ten pounds!

The house is bright and filled with love

and all sorts of new baby sounds.

A shower and my bed because I need to,

breastfeed him when he needs to,

skin to skin because we need to,

all three napping together because we need to.

After a peaceful sleep big sister is here!

She wants to meet “baby brother.”

She knew all along it'd be you coming to her,

this bond is like no other.

Believe in yourself because you need to!

Your heart is telling you what it needs to,

trust yourself because you need to,

Be strong for your baby, because he needs you.

By Colleen Duncan-Canavan

Dec 4, 2011

This poem was inspired by my water baby, Ely Finn. Born at home, caught by his mother. I'm waiting to hear back if this will be accepted into an anthology. I'll update it here if it was chosen.

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Thank you for your support!

I wanted to take this time to send out a thank you for your love and support with my story, "Thank You For Coming To Me Baby Brother."

Many of my facebook family and friends voted for my story and so many of you promoted it on your page and got your friends and family and co-workers, etc. to vote too and I appreciate that so much! I still have a few more raffles to pick too, so stay tuned! I'll be writing a blog post to thank all of you individually who supported my little story, so I'll share that on here as well. I have not forgotten you and I appreciate you very much!

The MeeGenius contest is officially over and it appears that they have decided not to choose "Baby Brother" as a semi finalist. They will announce the semi-finalists officially on Jan 31st. I wrote them an email last week asking them if they already sent out the emails but I read it on their facebook page today that they have already chosen them and sent out emails. The number of semi-finalists is undetermined. Despite the fact that I was fairly certain I was going to be a judge's pick, they have another vision for their ebooks library, and I'm actually excited about the possibilities that are now out there for me to explore with my story and the others in the "older sibling/baby sibling"series. Many people have asked me to write other versions of my story so their child can have one about them too, so I plan to do just that. I'll be working on a Big Sister/Baby Sister version, a Big Brother/Baby Sister version and a Big Brother/Baby Brother version! I'd love to hear any ideas you may have for these stories. If you have any special moments that have been shared between your own children that you can see fitting into one of these stories, I'd love to hear it! Please share in the comments section of this blog post or you can email me too at: colleen@mnky.com.

I'm not bummed that it wasn't chosen because of all of the positive feedback I have received from all of this. I'm looking at this as a blessing in disguise because I really see this book as a hard cover book that you can own and have it on your shelf, where you can sit and read it and physically flip through the pages even if you don't have an ipad/iphone. It will be published one way or another either through self publishing or through finding a publisher who believes in this story as much as I do. However, I'll need to wait til April of 2012 before it's "officially released" back to me. MeeGenius still has the rights to publish it later after the contest is over. I'm not sure why they would do that if it's not a semi-finalist, but we'll see. I'd rather it just be released back to me at this point so I can find a publisher to make it into a physical book.

I'm so overwhelmed by all of the love and support so many of you have given me and my little story, as well as the perfect strangers who took the time to vote and leave me a comment to tell me how it touched them. I'm going to print up all of my comments and treasure them always. I will also compile them into one blog post so my mom can read all of them too, haha. Or anyone else for that matter.

Thank you again soooo much! It really touched my heart beyond words how so many of you took the time to support me and my writing. It means a lot and I'm very grateful to have so many of you in my life and call my friend. Thank you.

P.S. Here is an UPDATE on my children's book.

xoxoxo

~*Colleen

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Halloween Night With A 3 Year Old: Episode 1

What's the deal with Dots, anyway?

The scene: Halloween night....
The location: Your neighbor's porch.
The cast: Your 3 year old daughter.

You walk up to the door with your child, "Trick or Treat!" They reach into a big bowl full of little snickers, reese's pb cups, m&m's, twix and other chocolatey delights. Then, under a milkey way you spot...the Dots. The bogus, lame chewy things that stick to all of your back teeth. Inside you are screaming, "NO! Don't do it! Reach left, LEEEEFT!"...but alas, they pick up "the dots." And you walk away all sad and chocolateless.

...."Saaaay thaaaank yooooou....."

What is the deal with Dots anyway? Sweet score or totally bogus?

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The loot a 3 year old hauls in (with much quarterbacking at the candy bowl by mom and dad)...minus The Dots.

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The Toddler Gourmet: SNACKS-Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Toast. It's sure to pass the yummy test!

For our first edition of The Toddler Gourmet I thought I'd give a shout out to my favorite season, Pumpkin Season! Having two kids who are eating regular meals now, I need to get creative as to what to fix so that they can both eat the same thing so I don't feel like a short order cook. My lil guy who is a year old already (that year whizzed by, let me tell you!) just got the OK from our ped to start eating peanut butter. And since no one in our family, immediate or extended is allergic to peanuts, I figured that would be a great snack to help fill him up.

My good friend Leah gave me some awesome pumpkin butter for my birthday (thanks Leah!) and we've been putting it on our toast in the morning. One day by accident because I was so sleep deprived I spread pumpkin butter on my already peanut buttered toast and...Voilà, Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Toast was born! I let my daughter have a bite and all I heard were the "yummy noises" and the fact that I needed to make another piece so I could actually have some was enough for me to add it to our regular menu. I made some for the baby and cut it into tiny pieces (which is sort of a mess, btw) and he loved it too!

What you'll need:

-Organic unsalted, creamy peanut butter.*-Pumpkin butter
-Whole grain bread**

Toast the bread for however long you like (lightly toasted if it's for a baby). Add a layer of peanut butter and top with pumpkin butter (as you would jelly). Cut into 4's for an older toddler or into a million tiny bits if it's for a baby. ;-)

*Try to buy organic whenever possible (AKA "affordable"). If you shop at Trader Joe's, you can find organic products that are just a bit less than their conventional counterpart. (I once saw only a 20 cent difference in zucchini at Trader Joe's in the summer! I was shocked!) I also like to do unsalted creamy for the kids. My preschooler can do unsalted crunchy when spread thin, but since I'm doing this recipe for both of them I opt for unsalted creamy.

Variations:

Bread **
We like to use anything whole grain. Raisin bread is quickly becoming a fan favorite in our house, and we just discovered a new bread at Trader Joe's that is called Panetone Bread (just like the Italian bread you find around the holidays) but this is in a loaf and sliced. My preschooler LOVED it!


And of course this edition of The Toddler Gourmet is even a hit for mama when paired with a pumpkin spice latte, a good book and 20 minutes of quiet time! If you are lucky enough to make this happen please light your holiday candle to go with it!

Enjoy!
Photo Notes:
Baby Boy: Yes, you're right...I probably should've wiped his nose before taking his picture for the world to see. And it's neither Thanksgiving nor Baby's first Thanksgiving either. Let's just say he's lucky he's not still wearing his sister's princess jammies with the poofy sleeves from the night before. We're recycling. Recession and all...
Big Sister: Pay no attention to the junk on the shelf behind her. C'est la vie...with 2 kids! And the black dot on her bread is a raisin....I hope...



Will your toddler eat anything with pumpkin? If so, what are your favorite pumpkin inspired recipes for the kids?

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Dear Fachebook

I see you... making all of your changes without any warning. I'm just waiting for the day were you go all "netflicks" on us and start charging for what used to be free (streaming video) because we're hooked now.  You're just waiting til all of us millions and millions of people totally give up using the phone and email and face-to-face conversations to communicate with one another and only click "like" as our total form of communication on a myriad of topics (which is kinda like now) because we'll eventually be too lazy to even type a comment and then...here come the charges....but we're sucked in now-for years some of us, so we'll just pay it because everyone and their grandma's dog Mr. Fluffy Pants are already too addicted to the social network to give up the juice...so we'll gladly pay the $29.95 per year to stay in the loop with our "close friends" , our "family", our "co-workers", our "frienenemys" or anyone else YOU deem important to me...until you make the charge monthly cuz you know we're suckers and as Todd says, "we're all just sheepeople anyway." Baaaaa!...and guess what? We'll probably just pay the monthly charge too cuz we need it, we want it and we can't live without it.  As Ely would say, "I smell what you're stepping in" facebook.  I smell what you are stepping in and let me tell you something mister-it stinks!  I'm now going to join a group about how we wish you'd "bring back the old facebook cuz this one sucks and while you are add it, please add a "dislike" button so I can "dislike" the new changes." Oh yea, and go blank yourself for thinking you own us...oh wait...too late.....

We won't know when, we won't know where but they're coming............

*cue the music from Halloween.* 

Signed your jilted EX-lover,

Coco Cana 

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For The Love of God...Please Nap.

I find the inspiration to write from many things. Some of it comes from conversations or things I've read from other moms' posts, a lot of it comes from the funny things my daughter or husband says. Today it comes from my total lack of finesse for putting my 8 mo old down for a nap. Usually I'm a pro at taking a sleeping baby from my arms and laying him in his crib, slipping my arm out from under his head and sneaking off into the other room. I've even been able to transfer a sleeping infant from a car seat to the crib without so much as a peep, which is usually the kiss of death. Today...not so much.

It started out well. I nursed Little Man in the morning where, usually he will fall asleep for about an hour. This is his "morning nap." I stood up, changed the position of my arms (baby still asleep), walked into his room and was pretty sloppy in putting him down because my back was hurting a bit (another issue...grrr.) And he did that ticked off flopping around thing where his arms and legs flail open as well as his eyes. Boo. So when this happens in the past "my move" has been to quickly roll him to his desired fetal position du jour, place both hands on his body as well as my face on his cheek or neck or head (yes I'm leaning WAY over into the crib at this point) and I'll stay there for a moment where I can then slowly move back once I can feel that he has fallen back asleep. Since he was just in my arms, the baby wrap or being nursed to sleep (I know some see this as a bad habit) the warmth and comfort of my body on his when he starts to wake up usually gets him to fall back asleep. I'm also lucky that he is a thumb sucker. And yes I do see this as very lucky (at this point in life...talk to me at 3 yrs old and I might not see it the same way.) But for now I think it's great because the second I take him off the boob the thumb goes right into the mouth and he (usually) stays asleep. It works for both of us. I no longer have to sit on the couch for a 2 hour nap with a sleeping baby on my lap, desperately fearful of moving him and him waking up.

This was the situation with Birdie. She'd fall asleep after I nursed her and I didn't dare move off the couch because she would absolutely wake up and then nap time A.K.A. "mama's free time" would be over. She didn't suck her thumb or take a paci so we really had to work on the whole "soothing herself to sleep" thing. But it's funny because that is exactly what Little Man is doing, but it's seen as such a bad thing by so many people. "Don't let him suck his thumb!" Really? How in the world are you supposed to stop an infant from sucking their thumb? Anyway...

So this went on pretty much all afternoon with him falling asleep and me totally blanking up the execution of putting him into his crib. Him flailing around all pissed at the world, eyes flinging open like it's the cops banging at your door at 3am and then....game over. It's a no nap day. Better search the freezer for some chocolate.

What's your go-to, get better, bad day, pick-me-up? Mine are chocolate and lattes. Preferably together. ;-)

To continue reading more from My Tales From The Crib, click here

Doing What I Love...A Tribute To My Mom

My mom is retiring from the school district this year after working there for 23 years. She started out as a Written Language Instructor in a program called Back to Back. In a nut shell, she taught a creative writing class to elementary school students. Can you imagine a class like that existing today in a public school? It's a shame that after 9 very successful years they lost funding and cut the program and all of those wonderful stories and ideas and a place to get those creative juices flowing out of those little kids was just gone. Several years later she had her full circle moment at Pavilions where a young man came up to her and said, "Excuse me? Are you Mrs. D-----?" and she said, "yes?.....Oh hi Scott!" and he was talking about her creative writing class and he told her how much he loved it and that it was so inspiring to him and it meant so much to him after all these years that he decided to become a journalism major in college. It was a very proud moment.

Last weekend was my mom's retirement party with all of her co-workers and she asked me to write a little something to say at the breakfast. I immediately knew I wanted to touch upon what she did all those years ago because she was now working in special ed and all of the teachers who remembered the Back to Back program were long since retired or had moved on to other schools. She has absolutely bloomed where she was planted in the special ed program, but I know she missed teaching that class for a long time. I wanted to high light that very creative time in my mom's life and hopefully spark her interest in writing again as she gets ready to retire. Retired people need a hobby, ya know! But in doing so I realized that I had reignited my own love for writing that has taken somewhat of a back seat since starting a family 3+ years ago.

I have always loved to write and thanks to my mom I have called myself a "writer" since I was in first grade. My mom was extremely encouraging to me and always enjoyed my writing. In my "late teens".....(ahem).... ok, ok mid twenties, I moved up to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting only to find my true calling was still writing. I ended up working with a group of actors who became friends whom I fondly referred to as "The 24's" and we'd write, direct and put on a show in 24 hours, called The 24-Hour Plays. It's an extremely intense and completely creative process that was terrifying at the same time since I was one of the writers. After that first one where I swore I'd never do another one I got hooked and made sure to participate in the monthly show about 4 times after that. I even got my mom to come out and co-write one with me while she was on summer break and in addition o writing she was our lead actress in her stage debut! We had a blast and stayed up for a total of 33 hours by the time the curtain closed.

I got married and moved as far away as possible from that seedy little stage in Hollywood where we'd put on our evening of one act plays, but I never stopped writing. My husband and I moved to the Island of Kauai (in Hawaii for those who've asked me, "where is that?") just two months after we got married in June 06 and I quickly joined a group of women writers and wrote another one-act play that won one out of only two spots to be put up as a Dinner Theatre at a local resort. It was a successful sold out show and it had "rave reviews" in our tiny island paper with not much else going on (haha), so that was really fun thing to be a part of. Unfortunately, I became very sick with morning sickness and a weird "jungle flu" I caught on Kauai that landed me in the hospital in my early pregnancy with my first born, so I wasn't able to actually direct my show. Which for a total control freak over my own work like myself was really hard to totally give the reigns to someone else, who was a complete stranger no less, so I was seeing it for the first time as the audience was seeing it. It ended up great and the audience seemed to enjoy it and although I had a very different vision for it, it was really fun to see a mans perspective (who was in his 70's btw!) on a show that had a strong female lead and was a very "girl power" piece. I was pretty impressed that he stayed true to the script and didn't change too much.

So now fast forward to 2011 and I am a stay-at-home mom to a 3 year old daughter and an 8 month old son and the fire inside to write and create still burns and has become stronger since I started working on my mom's presentation a few weeks ago. My whole life I have loved to make people laugh especially when I write and what's funnier than pregnancy, child birth, newborns, toddlers, husbands....?...Well OK so maybe those things alone aren't very funny but add in a sleep deprived, over worked, under paid, totally overwhelmed new mom's point of view and we're talking hilarious people! Pure magic! Well...to another sleep deprived, over worked, under paid, totally overwhelmed new mom maybe....OK, my own mom thinks it's hilarious, so there you go. I just hope to put a smile on your face between wiping baby barf off your laptop and planning playdates with the one kid your toddler will actually share with. Please join me and my moms blog as I journey into the writing world here at blogger by subscribing to my page or if you "Like" you can be the first to join my facebook page by the same name:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Tales-From-The-Crib/206702489375070

I'd love to know:
What do you love to do? What is the one true passion in your life that is the first thing that pops into your brain the instant someone asks you that question? It's the one thing that (usually) doesn't take any thought at all, (unless you are totally trying to deny yourself this life long passion) it's just there...BAM! In your head before the question is even finished. All of the other things that you hem & haw about are just hobbies. They can still be great and bring you much joy but your passion, the fire inside that can't be ignored no matter where you live, how much money you have, how old you are, how long you've been married or single or divorced or widowed...that never goes away! Or if it does it just needs a little spark to get it back like mine did. Thanks mom! ;-)