Reflection: Day 3 March Writing Challenge

Reflections in the pond*

I never thought that mom life could get more challenging and here walked in Covid-19 punching us all in the face and taking a shit on the rug where we barefoot stepped in it on our way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It's been the carton of ice cream that you've been dreaming about all day and that someone decided to put back into the freezer completely empty as opposed to just throwing it away. It was the jerk who drove around to hundreds of stores buying up all of the toilet paper and hand sanitizer so he could sell it online for triple the price. Literally.

It was a shock to us all. I have three kids who are now ages 12 & 1/2, 10 and 6 and I've been a stay-at-home-mom the entire time. We have moved around a bit and off and on during the last several years we have homeschooled as well as had our kids go to school, except for our youngest who was only 2 &1/2 when we moved cross country to where we are now in Wisconsin. 

When we were homeschooling, it was always on our own terms and we had a lot of freedom of what we were teaching and when. It was nothing at all like distance learning with zooms and google classroom assignments that parents had to figure out how to explain, etc. The fall of 2019 we were once again in a transition period and for many reasons had decided to homeschool all three kids again. Our youngest would have been eligible to go to the public school two days a week for Pre-K and this would have been the first time ever that all three of my kids would be at school all day long for at least two of the days - but I chose to homeschool. There were many factors as to why we did that, but still that was nagging at the back of my mind, especially on those really tough days in the house with all three kids, making my own curriculum for a 6th grader, a 3rd grader and a Pre-K'er. And trying to juggle the daily chores as well as my own free time to help with my sanity. It was especially difficult when it was winter and the super cold days kept us all inside for days on end. This wasn't good for my mental health in any way whatsoever. 

So about January of 2020 (I shutter just typing out 2020), my husband and I started talking about maybe sending the kids back to school. Especially my very social middle guy who was desperately missing his friends and recess and PE and getting to play sports with his friends at recess and PE and also chatting with his friends at lunch and recess and PE. (What can I say, he's an active and chatty kid. He knows his priorities. ) He's incredibly social and enjoys interacting with his teachers and with all of his classmates too. 

So we had lots of conversations and deep talks and decided that the boys were going to go back at the beginning of February 2020. Do you see where this is headed? Once my older son said he wanted to go back, his baby brother decided that he wanted to do the same because his brother is his hero and he wants to do exactly the same thing. My daughter wasn't quite ready to go back yet as she actually really enjoyed homeschooling so we waited a bit to break the news that yes, she in fact, was going to be going back too. However, we chose to wait a bit longer to set everything up for her for middle school since we were already in the process of transitioning the boys back. And she craved some much needed quiet time at home to do her work in peace.

So the boys went back in February and did very well. It was a fairly easy transition. My little guy wished that he could go more than just two days a week and he loved his teacher. They were especially excited to be at school for Valentine's Day too. We toured the middle school with our daughter and met her new teachers and she was set to start school on Monday, March 9, 2020. There had already been talks of this thing called "Corona Virus" or "COVID-19" if you were particularly snooty, but the media and the white house made it seem like it was just affecting huge places like New York and not a single person in our tiny Wisconsin town of less that 4,500 was too worried about it. At least until Friday, March 13, 2020 when we received an email after school saying that we would be returning to school on Monday and Tuesday to collect things from the teachers to take about a 3 week break due to the Corona Virus. But then another email came on Saturday telling us that school would also be closed on Monday and Tuesday and that the teachers would be there to put packets together for a brief 3 week closure. And as luck would have it, my daughter actually got a cold and a cough her first week back so we had her stay home that Friday anyway. So she had gone to her new middle school for all of 4 days before everything got shut down for the "3 week quarantine" that eventually lasted the rest of the school year. And of course, now the boys were home too. But instead of being on our own schedule that was more flexible for what we need to do, we were now trying to stay afloat virtually.

I had a total of ONE full school day at home by myself without kids since becoming a mom 12 & 1/2 years ago during the week my daughter went back and my little guy went to school on Mondays and Fridays. He was gone that Friday, but my daughter was home sick. To say I cried like a baby when I realized that we were all going to at home in each others faces all day again where I was trying to juggle each child's learning plan again is an understatement. And my boys were heartbroken and rightfully mad too because they really liked going to school and as luck would have it, almost every single best buddy/teammate from various sports my middle guy played had just happened to all be in one classroom with the favorite teacher of 3rd grade, (according to the kids) and that was the class he happened to land in. Even his very, very best friend from 1st grade was in there and they sat next to each other. It was like his dream come true. We couldn't believe our luck. We told his new teacher how he was so excited to have his best friend in there and she decided to move them together to "help ease the stress of my son starting 3rd grade in the middle of the year" and it was such a great thing for him.

Pandemic life stepped in and my mental health took a severe nose dive to say the least. That time ended up being a total blur. One that I will try to write about someday but can't seem to piece all together at this moment.. 

But in closing, I just want to add that it's so important to ask for help when you are struggling. I really didn't do that during the quarantine because I didn't know how. We were all just barely floating along. My husband got about 3 weeks off then it was back to the grind like usual which made him feel super stressed because work wasn't taking proper precautions and I was left with the sinking, burning ship and jagged rocky shores ahead. I'm not blaming him of course, because he did what he could, but it was one of the hardest times in my life ever. And I am just now getting help for myself a year later. 

Until next time...

~
Colleen

~About the March Writing Challenge: I have decided to try to write a blog post a day for 30 days to get back into the swing of being a writer again, which is one of my true loves in this life, creatively speaking. I'm a mom during a pandemic, so we’ll see how it goes! <insert nervous laughter.> Please leave a comment below and tell me where you are joining me from and how you found my blog; IG, Google, FB, Blog follower, etc. Thanks for joining me!~

*This photo was taken by me at the El Dorado Nature Center in CA where my kids would take preschool classes. We called it "Nature School." It was such a great program, one that shut down for a bit. I hope they decided to do it again because it was really great. My little guy would go there for his 1 & 1/2 hour class and my daughter and I would walk around the nature center enjoying the pond and the trees and the swimming turtles and birds and quiet. Especially the quiet.