Need to get back on track!

OK the madness has got to stop! We got into a really bad habit during our move of eating crap food, going through the drive thru, eating way too much ice cream after dinner....buying ice cream by the gallon and then when it runs out we replace it pretty much within a day or so...this is not normal behavior for us at all and it has got to stop. I'm pretty bummed because we did so well a few months back when we took part in a weight loss challenge but because of being so stressed out from the move we ate really bad food to deal with our stress, so we've gained a lot of it back. Which is hard to admit. I don't know how much because I don't know where our scale is, (part of that is I haven't actually looked for it...) but I can feel in my clothes that I have gained weight back and I can tell from how I look that I have gained weight back. Just in time for summer, right? Ugh.

I need to start drinking water more, I need to just say "no" in the store so I don't have to say no at home after a tough day with the kids where all I'm thinking about is sitting in front of the TV and having some ice cream to totally veg out. I need to start moving more. But I'm so tired all the time. I'm caught in that vicious cycle thing where I don't have any energy to work out and because I'm not working out I'm not getting any energy...if that makes sense.

The bright side is, we stopped eating fast food and I'm cooking dinners again. I just prepped a bunch of fruit to have on hand quickly and I'm about to prep some lettuce and some bell peppers. So it's a start. But why is it so hard?! Sometimes I feel like it can be the easiest thing in the world for me to say no to eating junk and times like right now I feel like I can't buy any will power.

Any advice?

Pain in the...back.

I have been blessed with a back that lets me know when I have done too much and when I need to do more. It's quite possibly the bossiest person I know, reminding me on a daily basis of it's existence in my world..."locking" it into my brain. Sending me constant updates and tweets. 

 "Um...I don't care this much about you!" ---"Sorry, I take that back! Don't hurt me."

My back - consuming more of my daily thoughts than should be legal. Taking away days at a time, forcing me to sit (preferably against a bag of ice) and reflect on healthier, stronger days...most of which were yesterday! My back is quite frankly - a pain in my ass. Like an unfaithful boyfriend, going out on you when you least expect it, when all you try to do is treat it nice. Yea, that guy.

My back has never had my back. Constantly turning on me. Constantly on my case....unless I cater to it every single day and pay all sorts of attention to it regardless of what I have planned....like a high maintenance former friend who refuses to get over 'that one guy who went out on her that one time back in college.'  

"Yea but you didn't like him anyway....?" 
"I know, but I do like to complain a whole lot..." 
Yea, that friend. 

I have been blessed with a back that knows what it wants, lets me know how it feels, and like my children when I'm on the phone, will go to extreme lengths to get me to pay more attention to it. We've been through so much together. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby wearing, millions of pre and post-baby hormones turning joints and muscles into "loosey-goosey" mush,....car accidents. Don't get me started on the car accidents.  I've been rear-ended or side-swiped more times (as a passenger) than I can count. Because of this, I don't make a very good passenger ...Right, Babe?  However, I've been rear-ended as a driver too. A guy plowed into the back of us when we were stopped at a light (he on the other hand was looking down at his phone TEXTING and driving instead of paying attention and slowing down for a red light!) and I had a 6 month old baby in the back seat! Another reason why rear facing car seats are best for babies. Baby was fine thank God. Never blinked an eye in fact. 

Anyway...back2U

Remember the good old days when we were in the pilates studio 5 days a week? You hardly made a peep. You were so sweet and kind and unobtrusive and calm. Never spazzed out. Never slipped up. You were the epitome of strength and support. I thought so fondly of you back then. Such a nice back.

Which reminds me! My back also knows just how to humiliate me. "How does a Pilates Instructor have a bad back?!" Exactly.

I am extremely blessed for this very vocal, very bossy, very pushy, very stubborn, total jerk-store of a back. At least that is the positive spin I'm trying to attach to it after all these years. It's either that or start waking up at 5am and hitting the pilates studio for hours and hours a day again. Did I mention I'm an overtired new mom now? Nevermind the fact that she is 18 months old. In the grand-scheme-of-life-looking-at-the-bigger-picture-here...I'm a new mom damnit!

Can we divorce a body part? Just askin'....


**Fast forward a few years to the Re-Cap: Exactly 1 year after I wrote this, I had just given birth to a 10 pound chunk-a-lunk baby via home water birth. So I have more to add to my back pain woes because this chunky monkey is HEEEAVVVVVVY to carry around!!  When you start out a 10 pounder...you just get bigger!  Funny how that works. 

My first attempt at writing and publishing a blog in the time it takes Summer to eat lunch!

Saw Elizabeth Gilbert last night, author of Eat, Pray, Love. She told me to write everyday and not to judge it too harshly...so here I am...writing and not judging. Heck, I'm not even going to proof read before I hit "Publish Post." ...OK, that's a lie, but I'm not going to save it to post for later and end up getting it deleted like the last 2 posts I never got to post. (Insert sad face.)

So write everyday. I told myself that same thing not too long ago, then life gets in the way. Or rather, Facebook, I Am Pregnant (message board) and e-mails get in the way. I'd like to say that dishes and floor scrubbing and laundry folding gets in the way of writing, but alas, I'd be lying. However, lately, my chiropractic appointments have gotten in the way. My search for a painless life is still underway...

According to Ketut in the book, Eat, Pray, Love, I need to meditate on the pain...or the disappearance of pain I should say. But I'm afraid I have been born into the wrong culture. As a Westerner even a chiropractor is considered "out of the box". So to meditate away my back pain that has anatomically caused my pelvis to shift and tilt on it's axis is sort of...well, quackery. However, I'm at the end of my rope in a sense with this back pain, that I think I'll try anything. I've told myself for years that I would never to go a chiropractor, yet here I am, 10 sessions into it and I feel that aside from doing regular pilates and swimming laps, it is the only thing that seems to be helping.

Join me next month when I dare to try....acupuncture!

Please comment with your thoughts on chiro or acupuncture!